Vows

I breathed in deeply. I paced hurriedly. I went over the vows repeatedly, reminding myself that if I screwed this up, I would not only embarrass myself in front of my family, but Gerard’s too.

I was about to get married to the love of my life. I was about to piss all over myself.

And then, like a beacon from heaven, my soon-to-be husband stood before me.

“Frank…”

I looked up, eyes shining in pure joy of being able to marry him in a few moments.

“…why the hell are you acting so stressed? It’s only the rehearsal.”

I glared, “Damn it, Gerard! I was trying to get into my anxious almost-husband mode and you interrupted me!”

He lifted an eyebrow, “Just because we’re rehearsing the wedding doesn’t mean you actually have to freak out.”

I frowned, “I want to prepare myself for the emotional occurrence which will affect us for the rest of our lives!”

My fiancé grinned and opened his arms dramatically, “I’ll be there for you to rest your head against my ample bosom! Have no fear, for I shall be more than willing to let you cry against me, as always, my little emo-love.”

“You don’t have a bosom, idiot. I would’ve married Jessica if I wanted breasts.”

Gerard clutched his heart, “Oh, Frank! Are you implying you only love me for my manly assets?”

“Yes.” I deadpanned. “Now where is Jessica? If we’re going to get on with this, she needs to be here along with your brother. They’re the goddamn best man and maid of honor, yet they’re late!”

“I cringe to imagine the wrath which they would have to face if they were late to the actual wedding. You would butcher them.”

We heard a slight commotion, and turned to see Mikey and Jessica running towards us. They skid to a halt before us, panting heavily. Mikey rested his hands on his knees and Jessica slumped onto a chair nearby.

I was livid.

“And where the hell have you assholes been?!”

Mikey sighed dramatically, “Well…while walking to the rehearsal, we saw an old lady struggling with groceries–”

“Mikey got smashed last night, and woke up next to a feminine looking guy. The guy wouldn’t leave, since Mikey apparently kept on repeating ‘I love you’ to whom he thought was a girl last night. I was waiting for him when he came running out while the he-she was chasing him with a frying pan. We ran the whole way.” Jessica interjected.

Mikey glared at Jessica, “I thought we agreed not to mention that!”

She shrugged, “I doubt they would believe the old lady story. I mean, really? You laugh whenever we pass by the park and you see little kids crying. I doubt you’d help an old lady, since you're hung-over. It'd be more like she was helping you.”

Gerard giggled, “So, Mikes…how was your first time with a guy?”

Mikey blushed strongly, “Sh-shut the hell up!”

“He’s still outside, cursing Mikey out, ya know?” Jessica nonchalantly pointed out.

“What?” I hissed out indignantly.

Jessica huffed, “It’s not my fault! The bastard is persistent. Why else would we run into here unless he was still chasing us? I think he’s under the impression we’re dating, so he’s angry at Mikey for lying and at me for stealing his lover.”

Gerard giggled again.

Mikey swiftly turned to face his brother, “If you fucking keep giggling, I swear…I’ll rip your fucking dick off. It’s not funny to have a transvestite-looking guy chasing after you!”

The raven-haired man grinned, “Well, it might be fun if he’s attractive.”

Jessica grinned, “He actually was pretty hot, if I do say so myself.”

Mikey slumped forward in despair.

“Aw…you guys are stressing Mikester out!” I cooed, even going so far as to wrap my arms protectively around him.

As I did this, we heard another crash and looked up to see a woman angrily holding a frying pan.

Wait a sec…that isn’t right. This girl has got some…manly assets to her. What was it that Mikey was saying about the one-night stand he had…?

“You said you loved me, you bastard!” came a shrill, yet distinctly male, cry.

He rushed forward, but quickly stopped upon seeing me embrace Mikey.

Instantly, his eyes watered, “So…you really are with someone already? I…I can’t believe you!”

With tears streaming down his face, he slapped Mikey across the face.

I decided it was time I intervened, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I am in now way in a relationship with Mikey! In fact, I’m marrying his brother soon. So please don’t cry and please don’t slap my brother-in-law again.”

The man flushed again and began profusely apologizing, “Oh! I’m so terribly sorry if I interrupted anything! I just…well, Mikey here met up with me last night…and I really thought we had something that could work out…but I’m still so terribly sorry!”

I raised my hand as I saw him take in a deep breath to start another onslaught of apologies.

“It’s really no problem. I’m sure you were very hurt and if anyone here should be apologizing, it should be Mikey.”

The glasses-wearing man jolted at the sound of his name, and looked as if he were in pain when he met my expectant gaze.

“Um…uh…I’m very sorry…um…” he looked pitifully at the man gripping the pan.

“Andy. Andy Madrona.”

“Yes, Andy…I’m…very sorry for any stress I may have caused you.”

I elbowed Mikey and he hissed.

“Oh! And, um…is there anything I could do to make amends?”

Andy nodded bashfully, “If it wasn’t any problem, after the rehearsal…could you maybe go out and have some coffee with me?”

Mikey opened his mouth to decline, but a sharp glare from both me and his brother quickly shut him up.

“Uh…yes, that’d be fine.”

I smiled cheerfully, “You can stay here until it’s over. Just wait with the rest of the guests. Mikey and Jessica need to ready themselves.”

More than happy to get away from the discomfort, Mikey ran to the dressing room. Jessica, Gerard and I followed slowly.

Shaking his head, Gerard questioned his brother, “What did you do to the poor thing? He was a mess when he came bursting in.”

“I don’t know! I was too drunk for me to remember. But did he really expect to pick up the love of his life at a bar?”

Jessica shrugged, “He looked young. He’s probably still naïve enough to believe that. You just know it because you’re brother was a drunk in high school who would always waltz into your room at night talking about how you shouldn’t ‘fuck with the whores at bars, ‘cause they’ll fuck you up.’”

“You know that you’re still going to go have coffee with that boy, don’t you? And you’ll fucking be smiling the entire time, or else I’ll kick your ass.” I piped in.

Mikey shivered in fear, “Why’re you always so violent? And why are you forcing me to take this guy out – I swear, you’re worse than my mother. Making me apologize for shit and everything…”

Mikey pulled his tux soundly around himself and grinned.

“Hey…I look pretty dang good in one of these. I haven’t worn one in a while.”

I turned to look at my soon to be brother-in-law and whistled in appreciation, “Hey, you ain’t lying. It does fit you well.”

I turned to see my fiancé, “But, damn! You don’t have anything on my Gee.”

Gerard smiled at me, “Aww…you flatter me too much.”

“I can’t flatter you enough.”

Mikey stuck his tongue out, “You guys be mushy somewhere else. The pure sweetness of this situation will rot my teeth.”

I beamed, “Okay, so we’re all ready?”

Jessica, who had slipped out of the room unnoticed a while ago, magically appeared again.

“Yup!”

Honestly, there wasn’t any need for us to dress up for the rehearsal, but it was yet another thing I had ordered so that I could further prepare myself for the actual wedding.

Taking one last deep breath, I began to walk down the aisle.