The Hidden Truth


Classes started off with morning, mundane exercise class, with only a slight increase in difficulty. I started to wonder why Master Mirmo hadn’t moved up to a harder class, but then I thought about what a harder class would involve and was grateful for the easiness of the stretching and light exercises we did. I still dreaded the day I would have to run any distance. I was nearly holding my breath until then.

When that was over, I went through the maze of hallways that was now making a lot more sense and true to my word; I wondered why I couldn’t understand how to find my room on the first few days. I entered a new hallway, one that held the more advance skills. I peered into windows in the doors to see what these classrooms were like. I saw the floors were matted and knew these must be sparring rooms. I found the room I was looking for and joined a class all milling around, chatting. This class was different from my normal ones. The students were bits older, in their mid to late teens, making me feel like I could blend in and be accepted more.

The class turned out to be a lecture on lightsabers. We were taught a lightsaber is not a toy and never to be handled lightly. In this class we would learn to properly wield a lightsaber, how to fight each other, learn strategies, learn the difference between defending and attacking, and how to fight remotes and droids. A lightsaber was dangerous weapon, capable of causing serious harm, even taking a life. To demonstrate this, the teacher ignited her lightsaber. The blade was truly amazing. The blade meant so many things, power, grace, strength, light, hope, and fear. She held out her hand, rolling up her sleeve, and I instantly, but wincing already, at the idea of what she was going to do. The shining and humming lightsaber was brought close to her hand. I saw the expression of deep concentration on her face. I tested the Force in her and found the Force swirling around her. She took the light blue blade to her left hand. You could clearly hear skin swizzle in the heat of the blade. She held the blade there, causing more mental pain to the students than I think she was going through. What she was doing was absorbing the energy from the blade into her and directing the energy out of her. She also must have numbed her hand and arm before hand, for she showed on excruciating pain on her face as one might expect. When she took the blade away and deactivate the blade everyone could see a blacken wound on her hand. I didn’t want to think how much that had to hurt or if she did this for all beginning classes. The feat was incredibly impressive, but I felt unnecessary and somewhat foolish. The rest of the class did not share my belief and all had shocked looks on their faces. The class was ended early and I was willing to bet credits, as they called currency here, that the teacher was headed to an angry healer.

The other, new, class of interest was my new Force class. I found I was in the same group as the last lightsaber class. The class setting was another meditation chamber, though somewhat bigger than the one Master Mirmo taught in. The class was taught by another woman, who seemed to prefer pacing around rather than sit with the class. The details of the class, to me, were not very interesting. The teacher knew much about the Force, but she was a lousy teacher. It did not help me at all, to say I already knew all she went over. We went over how to feel the Force within us and then told how to feel the Force outside of our bodies. Some students struggled with this assignment. I found it all too easy and stretched my Force awareness to the entire room. It wasn’t that I was trying to show off, but simply to stretch my mind like I stretched my limbs earlier that morning. It didn’t matter, the teacher still did not approve of it.

“Karen, when I tell you to go beyond the assignment, then please do so. Otherwise refrain from showing off to the class”

I nodded and looked down, trying very hard not to show my anger to the woman. It was not my fault that I was too skilled for this class. She should blame my master, not me. He is the one who placed me here. I pushed back my anger until the class ended.

I let my grip over my anger go when I went back to my room. I didn’t want the Jedi to pick this up, so I skipped lunch. I was fairly ticked off at my master. What was he playing at, putting me in a class several levels too low? There was nothing I could learn that was new in that class. I got so wrapped up in my emotions that I forgot about the time. When looked at the time I realized that Mirmo’s meditation class had started right then. I ran out of my room, through the halls, and to his classroom. I took a second to regain my breath and composure. I knocked on the door. In a few seconds, the door opened to show a surprised and disappointed Mirmo. He gave me a slight glare, but allowed to enter the silent room. I kept my head and, settled down in my corner, and began the process of meditation. I found my mind unsettled, rebellious, refusing to let go and be with the Force and peace. My master never said anything, but I knew he sensed this. I was learning very little could go past his eyes. When the bell rang, he dismissed everyone, but me, asking me to stay. I gulped, knowing what was going to happen.

“Would you like to talk apprentice?”

I shook my head. I could handle myself. It was better if he didn’t know about my reason behind my anger.

“Sit down”

I did as he asked. He stared at me with this look that told me not to dare look away from him.

“Now Karen, you know I can order you to talk, but I won’t. I can only encourage you to do so for a number of reasons. I can feel your anger, simmering just beyond a thin cover of self control, so do not try to pretend it doesn’t exist. I can promise you talking will help and is on good way to work through anger”

I bit my lip, wanting to look down. I mumbled something about an apprentice does not question her Master’s orders.

“And yes you do. It’s ok to try to understand my logic. As long as you keep a civil voice and mind your words, no punishment will be received. You can not learn if you don not ask. All I ask for is your respect”

I wanted to argue I did respect him. I held that back. I would be getting off topic. I sighed and told him about the scene during the Force class. I told him that I felt shouldn’t be in there and I was angry at the teacher for misunderstanding my actions. Mirmo nodded, fully understanding me.

“It does look as if she did misunderstand you. I will talk to her to try to explain the situation. For the future, I advise you to limit your practice in the Force to what a teacher asks you to do. Learning to control the Force in small quantities is a good skill for you to prefect”

With those words he dismissed me. As I walked to my room, I noticed my anger had dissolved and a feeling of peace and a good emptiness took the anger’s place. It was true, although I would never confess it, talking through my anger did help. I needed to vent, but I was trying too much to be the proper, perfect Jedi, to do so. My master truly was a great wise Jedi. I hoped, some day, to be like him. Until then, I still considered myself to be young, wild, and novel to the Jedi way.