The Hidden Truth

Friendless

Lucky for me, no questions were asked by Master Skywalker. Minutes after I left, Luke Skywalker got a message on his com link, a communication device that could be compared to a cell phone, having him leave the academy for a week. Master Mirmo was thoroughly confused on what my little show was about, but left it for Luke to handle. Of course, when Master Mirmo came in later that afternoon, I was not aware of that.

“You shouldn’t spend so much time in your room, Karen”

I looked up at him from my data pad that I was still reading. I asked him why.

“Because this room leads you into a depressed and brooding mood. A disheartened apprentice is no fun to be around. Hanging around me is fine, but you can not do that all day. So, time to get up and go to your friends”

I hung my head back down and stared at my sheets. I didn’t have any friends to visit. I still hadn’t gotten close to anyone enough that I could spend time with them outside of class.

“What is wrong? Don’t you have friends?”

I mumbled something about not being wanted.

“Surely you have at least one friend”

I didn’t look up when I said I didn’t need friends.

“Try looking at me when you lie”

I didn’t say anything. I was too embarrassed to say anything. I felt the sting in my heart, the feeling of loneness and rejection. I seemed to be such an outcaste; I couldn’t even fit among the outcastes of the Jedi. Disappointment, guilt, and fear kept me silent. I felt the bed move as Mirmo sat down and sighed. I knew that sigh well for my parents had it down pat. It was the sigh that said they didn’t know what to do with me. They didn’t know why I was so strange, so different. They didn’t know why I couldn’t fit it or what to do about it. It was the sigh of hopelessness. I pushed back tears of the past. I didn’t want Master Mirmo going through what my parents went through. I felt a hand on my calf.

“Don’t shut down on me. Let me help you. I was only sighing because I know exactly what you are feeling too. I’ve been through all of this before back on my home planet. I too, found it hard to open up to strangers, even my own age and species, during the first few months here, but you know what? I did not have a master like you. I am one friend you have and that is a good start. Now you need to find at least one more. Didn’t you have friends at home?”

I said yes.

“How many did you have?”

I told him, depending how you counted either a hand full in real life or several hundred online. The online part confused him. That is when I spent half an hour explaining him as well as I could, what the internet was. At the end, Mirmo seemed intrigued by this communication idea my planet had come up with.

“As interesting as the internet sounds, you still need friends here and now. I can’t order you to make friends, but I do ask that you make a good effort of doing so. Find some girl like you. Spent time with her. Help her out with classes. Explore the temple and the grounds. Get into some trouble. You will heal inside much faster”

I looked at him, hardly believing me wanted me to get into trouble.

“You’ll get into trouble anyhow. Everyone does. You might as well have fun when you get caught.”

I looked at the clock for a distraction and realized it was close to dinner. It was my turn to do kitchen duty. I had never been in the kitchen before and wondered what I was going to do. I asked my master if I could be excused.

“Yuck. I am sorry. I hate cooking. You didn’t do anything to be given this torture did you?”

I smiled and said no. I told him I didn’t mind cooking. I was fairly good at cooking when at home. I knew how to do simple things and mixes were easy. Surely this couldn’t be too bad.

“Yes, well if I get sick tonight, I’m blaming you. Have fun washing dishes afterwards”

I smiled at him and we both left my room. He headed back to his room and I walked to the dinning hall.