The Hidden Truth

Forgotten

I woke up, sometime later, with the first light of the day shining through my window. My body was covered with a blanket and a cup of water by the side of my cot with a small note saying “drink and feel better”. It was at the moment did I squeeze my eyes shut as a blinding blast of pain exploded in my brain. Images, feelings, and words rushed at me. I remembered the fight, the fear, and my master’s last words before I was willed by the Force to sleep. I rubbed my forehead, trying to massage the pain away. I looked at the glass of water and became aware of how parched my throat was. I sleepily reached for the cup and drank the water in one gulp. I lay still on the mattress and without noticing, drifted back to sleep.

“Karen”

A voice that is near enters my head. I wondered who it was. I was not dreaming, nor awake, but my conscious floating in empty space. I felt nothing and found it strange. Where was I?

“Can you hear me, Karen?”

Who is it? Who would knew my name? I reach out in the darkness, trying to understand this state plane. Had I left my body? Was I dead? There seems to be nothing around me. I am not cold or warm. I seem to have no body. What was going on?

“Wake up Karen”

I must be dead. I pondered this for some time, slowly feeling as if space and time were dragging me somewhere. The feeling was uncomfortable. Pressure, unknown pressure, was grow stronger, causing pain, making me want to scream, begging it to end, to STOP!

“Shh, it’s ok, it’s ok. Deep breaths”

I woke up. I was still on my cot, the blanket twist around my legs, my hair a tangle of slimy snakes on a damp pillow. A hand was on my forehead. I followed the hand, up the arm, to my master’s face. Slight wrinkles of his face show me his worry, but a smile on his lips eased me.

“Be quiet for a minute. It will take some time for the drug to clear from your mind”

Drug? My master had drugged that water in the cup? Why would he do such a thing? I looked at him, silently asking the question.

“It was only to help with the pain and to keep your mind blank. You are not easily manipulated, my stubborn apprentice”

He reached over once again and touched my forehead. I felt calming, healing energy flow through me, giving me mental clarity and strength to sit up. When Mirmo took away his hand and him gave me one last look and nodded for me to sit up. I did so, trying to remember what had happened for him to give me pain medication. I stretched my limps and noticed the slight stiff and soreness. What had happened? Why did my master manipulated me? I shook my head, unable to recall anything. I caught my master intensely studying me for a second and asked him what was wrong.

“Are you hungry? Would you like to get some breakfast?

I slightly titled my head in confusion, aware that my master did not answer me. I told him yes and my stomach growled a confirmation. Master Mirmo smiled at me and went out of my room to let me shower and get dressed. When we were done with breakfast, my master asked me to wait a moment as he grabbed several pieces of fruit, some bread, and a canteen of my favorite juice. I asked him why he was getting all this food. Usually, the staff forbade the teachers and students to have food in the rooms, to avoid bugs and small animal problems.

“So we can have our midday meal during our walk”

My master seemed to be full of mysteries today. He had told me nothing about a walk yesterday. I shrugged and told myself to be glad that I was getting out. I had been rather moody and restless the last few days, a sign that I was becoming depressed, and knew a walk would cure this. I was also curious as to what was out in the jungle surrounding the Jedi temple. I am a nature person at heart and intensely connected to the living Force. The bond between me and the living Force is a survival one. Without being in contact with life, with plants and animals for a period of time, I begin to decline mentally, physically, and spiritually. In turn, I have a green thumb, and am a genius with small animals and fish. I have yet to fail to tame any cat I lay eyes on. I understand animals and animals understand me. Some people call it empathy or telepathy, but I know my understanding of live is on a deeper level than that. Perhaps, my master sensed my connection and knew I need to get out.

Our walk turned out to be quite a hike. Mirmo led me up and down hills, and at times had me climb hand over hand up slippery moss, following a stream that was moving rapidly. At the top of our hill, which was quite high, we came to the start of a waterfall. I inched my way to the edge of the wet rocks, feeling the cool spray on my face and bare skin. I looked down at the clear pool of water the fall had created. I sensed something moving behind me and turned to see my master run past me, take a flying leap off the hill, and dive, feet first, into the pool. I was surprised to find the pool was much deeper than it looked, for my master never touched the bottom. He rose to the surface with his robe floating beside him, grinning up at me.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

I deep a couple of deep breathes to steady my nerves before I dashed off to my certain death. I ran, fast, off the hill, feeling the water and air rush past my face and then hard slam of the water as I broke the surface of the pond. I sunk half way before swimming to the top, gulping air. I was shaking in pure excitement, grinning like a fool. My master laughed at me when I gave a yell of exhilaration.

“Race you to the shore”

I did not waste time responding, but badly kicked and stroked my way to the muddy grass to collapse on the shore, panting. Seconds later my master joined me in filling our lungs of deprived air. When we recovered, we crawled to a near by tree where the bag of food and towels had been previously placed. Mirmo handed me a towel to dry off and gave me some sweet, ripe fruit to hungrily devour. When I was done with the light meal, I laid in the tall, feather like grass, letting my mind wonder. Flashes of emotion raced through my mind and in one moment did I remember all that had happened the night before. I gasped and froze in shame and guilt.

“Something wrong?”

I looked over my shoulder at my master, relaxing in the sunlight. How could I tell him that I had kicked him and meant him harm last night? How could I explain to him that in a moment of weakness, I had briefly gone over to the darkside?