The Hidden Truth

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone,
I walk alone,
I walk alone,
I walk a....

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me,
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,
'Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

One, two, three, four, pivot. One, two, three, four, pivot. Back step, followed with a forward step, stop, one, two, one two three, turn right, stop. Back cross with left, stop, balance, spin and one, two, three, four.

“An interesting song with interesting moves”

One, two, stop, turn and look. Master Mirmo stood at the door way of a sparring room I was using to dance in. I crossed the room to turn off the music, good thing because the song almost got to the curse word, something I didn’t feel comfortable with my master hearing.

“I gather you are feeling alone with the phrase ‘I walk alone’?”

I shook my head. It was hardly that. The song, in my opinion was about being a loner and not needing to depend on others. I danced a proud dance to that song, for to me, it was about inner strength. Yet, at the same time, the person hinted that while they wish to be alone, at times they want someone to be close to them is distance and relation. I tried to explain that to my master. He turned over the idea silently for a few minutes and nodded.

“As long as you don’t use the song to express any depression or anxiety, then I see no harm”

I bit my lip. The truth be told, I was using the song to express a certain emotion that was eating its way through me. Though, if I told Mirmo, I would be thoroughly questioned in ways I was sick. I smiled a bit, looking innocent, hoping he would drop this and change subjects.

“So, how are your classes coming, besides my meditation class, which you will be happy to know I see you are progressing in?”

My face fell and my fake smile faded. This was hardly the topic I wanted him to switch to. The real trouble with me was there was a lightsaber test in two days time that I had to pass if I wanted to advance in my training. These practical tests always made me ever so nervous. There was no way to fake my way through it, somehow showing I knew more than I really did. I either could do the moves or not. Furthermore, I would be at the mercy of the teacher, who did not seem to like me or dislike me, giving me no advantage. This was our first test, so no one knew anything about how it would proceed, leaving me uneasy and unprepared. I had practiced during class, and while not the worst in the class, I was not the best either. There was no way to know what the standard of the passing level. So, out of frustration and falling of nerves, I came to the sparring room to dance the feeling out.

“Karen?”

I shook my head a bit, clearing out my distracting thoughts. I had to think of something quick, before he realized I was hiding from him.

“I know that look. Might as will spill it before I go looking for the true answer, in a way you will not like”

I grimaced. He was referring to reaching into my thoughts and looking for himself. We had come to an agreement over the last week to not go into my mind unless I was lying or trying to hide something. If I would respect his requests, he would respect my request of privacy of my mind. A sigh escaped me as I tried to gather my thoughts and emotions to explain the situation to him. My master was patient enough, willing to give an encouraging nod now and again when I painfully paused. I still had trouble sharing my emotions to him when I didn’t want to in the first place. He came close to me and put a kind hand on my shoulder, looking pleased with me when I finished my tale.

“Thank you for being open and honest with me. It warms me so to know you are able to do this”

A blush came to rosy my cheeks. It was stupid of me to give him such trouble over a nonsense matter. Tests were not of my strength and to be offered help was something I should thank him for.

“I will have you know you are not the first to sweat a lightsaber test. I remember Luke testing my group. I spent hours before hand endlessly practicing both mentally and physically the moves that would be required of us. I will not tell you how it ended yet, but let me assure you, you will do fine. But, for nerves sake, go over your moves here, in front of me, and let me judge you and offer a tip or two”

I went slightly pale. He had never been to any lightsaber class of mine and I was not use to him watching me practice. I grabbed a sparring stick, for no one was allowed to use a lightsaber yet. This test would prove us trustworthy enough to be given a lightsaber or not. I took a step into the center of the room, took a breath, raised my stick and began.