The Hidden Truth

The meal went quickly and I went back to my room to hide, to be alone and to find peace. I had a computer in my room, helping with the feeling of being far away from anything I once knew. There was no internet, slicing away the idea of communicating to my life, to my friends. The computer was so advance that I spend several hours trying to understand it. It so different from anything I knew how to operate, that it took me a full hour to find a word processor. To make it worse, the keyboard was reorganized so the years of touch typing meant nothing now. It was back to slow and painful on my fingers and wrist, hunt and peck. I decided it would be easier to just handwrite my diary, something I was keen on having for my time here.

Several hours later, the lights went out in my room, signaling it was time to go to sleep. This had been explained to me during my tour, but with all the events of the day, I had forgotten. Although I could of stay up and used a glow rod, which turned out to be a big flashlight, I decided it would be best if I got more sleep and got use to the time zone. I took another ten minutes fighting and cursing the computer before I discovered how to turn it off. I settled back down onto my cot. I still feared the nightmare and any other that awaited me in the nights to come. I had to get over this fear. People would question me; try to offer me help, help that I did not want. This was my battle to fight, my war to win. It was my past, I must come to terms to. No one could or should help me with this. Besides, it would be showing my weakness, and possibly showing myself to exist of this wonderful place. So, to fight this bout of nightmares, I focused on clearing my mind and letting nothing enter until I fell asleep for a good twelve hours.

I woke up to looking at my watch to realize in horror I had missed my first class. I quickly got up, turning around the room, wondering what to do. I grabbed my hairbrush, made my hurricane like hair into a ponytail and looked around again in panic. The knock, a different one from the last, at the door made me jump in guilt. I stared in confusion again at the control panel, before remembering to press the green button. A girl of short stature, short brown hair, with a slim, half developed body stood at my door. Her young appearance made me guess she was around fourteen and her high pitched voice reinforced that guess.

Her presence was a blessing. A young teenage would not be sent here to tell me off, but be here to help and comfort me in my current state of panic. She smiled at me and my natural reading ability told me she was of the cheerful, hard to get down type, who had no fear about strangers or older people like me. I asked her when and where was my next class, apologizing several times for oversleeping.

“Err..you might want to get dressed”, she said.

I looked down to realize I was still in my nightshirt that was extra long and blushed, feeling even worse than before. She gave a small, quick laugh and said she would wait for me to get dressed. I gave her a desperate look which she responded back that there was still time before the next class. I was not to worry, most new people oversleep their first day here, due the strong sensation of peace the temple gave off. That was not greatly comforting, but at least it meant I would not look quite as bad as I thought. I pressed the red button, which closed the door, went to the small chest that contained clothes that had been provided by the temple. I was dressed in a light brown, close fitting pants, a some what loose long sleeve shirt, and dark brown boots made out of light leather that went up a few inches above my ankles. I looked around for anything I may have forgotten. I had practically nothing from home. I truly was starting from scratch.

The girl and I walked in silence as we went through the man, confusing halls. The classroom that we arrived at was of medium size, the walls painted a light sky blue, bringing out even more the sense of peace. There were chairs, made out of type of plastic, or so I thought, that gave some back support, but that was about it. There was nothing else in the room. The people in the room were a different story. The group of students was diverse as possible with species and age, some human looking beings ranging close to my age. Some were busy chatting, some quietly sitting, and some looking as lost as I felt. The young girl stepped into the room, invited me to take a seat and said the master would be here shortly. I gave her a questioning look, wondering why she was here. She acted as if she had been at the temple for some time and would not be in a beginner class.

True to her word, the master came in and instantaneously the class quieted and settled down. I was surprised at the maturity and obedience of the class, but then again my public education has not been the best. The teacher looked around the class, setting eyes upon all, including me, which sent a slight shiver down my back. I noticed that the girl who led me here was sitting in a chair on the end of the front row. Then, then teacher started his discussion about the importance of meditation. Much of what he said was review, something I had read, learned, and practiced, but it was still interesting to listen to. Occasionally he would ask a question for someone in the class to answer, but I was never picked on. I was glad, because it would have ruined my plan of showing I knew nothing about Jedism.

At the end of the lecture, he went into the various methods of meditation and asked us to use a simple one, which consisted of slowly breathing and focusing only on your breath. I knew how to do this almost in my sleep and I was ready to jump right into it, closed my eyes when I stopped myself. Someone who had never done this, would struggle, get distracted, and have problems. I opened my eyes to look around to see if this was true.

“Please keep your eyes closed”

That was a bit startling. I was not expecting to be watched, even if that wasn’t logical. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wondered how to make it seem like I was struggling. Maybe I should increase my emotions. Maybe I should fidget. Maybe I should let my thoughts just run.

“Relax, just breathe.”

Looks like I already was showing my struggle. I had flash of anger at myself before I settled down once again and breathed in slowly. My mind grew quiet. I held the breath in and counted to four. I breathed out the stress the day had already brought. I waited a second before breathing in slowly, letting my emotions arise. I let them build for another four seconds and out they went through my body and to the floor as the air left my lungs. I started breathing a bit more smoothly, though keeping the same speed. I became lost in my own inner peace, the silence of my mind, and the stillness around me. I started the feel the familiar warm tingling in the air that told me I was feeling the Force. Programmed warning bells went off as I realized I could not feel the Force. Speaking of bells, there was a soft chiming coming from the distance that told me class had ended.

I waited for the class to wake up and react to the bell. They all patiently looked at the teacher for permission to go. That impressed me to no end. Truly, I have been too many poorly maintained classes with no respect for the teacher. I was not the first or the last to leave. The girl who had previously helped me, offered her help to where ever I wanted to go, but at this point I knew were lunch, known as the midday meal, was. If this was what my classes would be like, it would not be so bad. Perhaps, I could become a Jedi if I stayed here long enough.