The Hidden Truth

A Crush

Days later, I returned to full health and back to classes. In the lightsaber class we were given lightsabers for the first time ever. We went through the basic moves, now with a lightsaber and started on simple sparring patterns, using the moves we had been tested on. When we fought each other, we had to switch back to the wooden sticks, to keep us from doing serious harm, as if the hundreds of bruises everyone received weren’t serious enough. What made the lessons even harder was my concentration was being spilt between the teacher and Roan.

The problem with Roan was I had a crush on him. I felt rather silly, acting like a school girl, staring at the most popular guy in school, wishing the guy would turn around and see me during lunch, but I couldn’t help myself. Roan, as girls said on my planet, was hot and there was no denying that fact. His body was trim, his hair was clean and had a certain eye catching wave. His clothes, the same as everyone’s, managed to show off his muscles. Days after the lightsaber test, I fought extremely hard to hide my feelings for him, but both my master and my best friend Lyn pointed out my blushing. Master Mirmo was the first to notice and comment on my crush during the mid day meal.

“So, my distracted apprentice, which do you think is hotter, your meal in front of you or that young man you have spent the last twenty minutes endlessly staring at when you think I am not looking?”

I looked away from Roan, who was sitting with a group of guys busying joking and eating their food, to glance at my cold meat and half eaten fruit. I turned pink with embarrassment and informed Mirmo that I wasn’t hungry. Somehow, I found looking at one of the cutest, most popular guys in the academy took away all my interest in food. Mirmo gave me a funny look and sighed.

“I would like to lecture you on the importance of men, love, and how that affects your Jedi training, but seeing how I went through my own daydream dates, I can not quite bring myself to look you in the eye, as I recite my thoughts to you.”

This comment brought a grin to my face. For once, I had won at Mirmo’s own argument without even having to say a thing. I picked up my fork with pride at my victory and ate the rest of my lunch. Mirmo stayed quiet, but I noticed he seemed distance, as if remembering the past. I did not inquire what was going through his mind, knowing if he wanted to tell me, he would of.

Later that day I was walking with Lyn, going to my room to give her another art lesson. She had practice what I had taught weeks before, and had shown progress. I was going to teach her how to draw the body of a horse, an animal she had never heard of, but when she saw my drawings of them, she instantly fell in love with the animal and nagged me for days to teach her how to draw one. I had spotted Roan, walking alone towards us, and stopped dead in my tracks. Lyn walked a few steps, saying something and then stopped, looked back at me, looked at who I was staring at, and giggled. I was locked on Roan as he continued his path. He seemed to finally notice me and gave a polite nod of the head. Speechless, I stood still, shocked and unable to move. My eyes followed him as he walked down the hall and turned a corner. Lyn’s giggles grew louder and less suppressed, bringing my attention back to her.

“Ohh, someone has a lover boy”

Once again I blushed red. Lyn was loving this much more than the serious Master Mirmo. Her eyes were wide and wild, gleaming with excitement. I could tell she found guys interesting, and the fact that I had picked the most popular young Jedi here, made it all the better. Well, I wasn’t going to give her any gossip. I took a deep breathe, staring at a near by all, sending all my emotions out of my body and opening myself to the peace and silence of the temple. When I was sure that I could sound and act normal, I fixed a steady, determined look on my face and asked Lyn if she wanted to head to my room.

“Sure, but how long have you felt about him? Isn’t his name Roan or something? Isn’t he in your class? Does your master know about your feelings towards him? Have you talked to Roan?”

We were at the door to my room, when I stopped and looked up at her in surprise. I had underestimated her already. She wasn’t going to let this slip by her. I sighed, being reminded a bit of my master and tried to answer her questions. I had started to notice Roan right before the lightsaber test, but for some unknown reason, he really caught my eye when he walked through the students. He seemed so nice and so mature, that I was attracted to him. Mirmo seemed to not mind my crush, but I could tell Mirmo would not let this go far if it interfered with my training. So far, Roan hadn’t noticed me, aside from the rare times he walked past me and had the manners to notice me as a person, but my skills at the Force told me that Roan saw no interest in me. I argued that this was because he didn’t know me and if I made the first effort, he would see I was worth getting to know.

“Oh, I could see you two together. You two would make such a cute couple!”

I grinned and to my horror, a girly giggle escaped my throat. Lyn’s grin grew bigger and I wondered how fast it would take for the other girls to find out about this and spread gossip. I was going to have be careful to prevent rumors starting too early until I had made my moves.