The Hidden Truth

The bed was comfortable; the blankets were soft and warm. The sleep was peaceful and healing. A hand touched my right shoulder and gently shook me awake. At first, I didn’t open my eyes, but wondered where I was. I knew this was not my bed, nor my room. I wondered if I was at home and if there was a cat on my bed, something was too different for that to be true. I felt different. The air felt different. The room did not give off the same feeling as the one at home. At home, I would have been woken up with a voice, not a touch. I opened my eyes to see a wall. The wall confused me. I was no at home, nor at my room in the temple. I turned over and looked at the rest of room and only at the sight of Master Mirmo, did I recognize where I was.

I shifted my body so I was flat on my back. I felt calm, like I had spent the night meditating with him guiding me. My body was relaxed and felt well rested. My mind was clear and simple in thoughts. It was his presence that forced me to remember why I was here and what happened the night before. The memory brought a blush to my face. I had lost all self control after allowing my emotions build up to a breaking point. He had to once again, come and rescue me from my own dark down fall. My mind told be I shouldn’t be here, but my body thought otherwise.

“Come, it’s time for you to get up”

A sigh escaped my mouth as I got up from the ever so comfy bed. There was no need to get dressed for I slept in my clothes. I asked where the bathroom was and got a strange look for a reply. I realized I was using the wrong term, and asked again, using the word refresher. He pointed to the other door near the dark, wooden desk with computer. When I was done relieving myself and splashing water on my face to wake up, I came out to study the room some more. Aside from the personal objects, there was nothing else to describe. The Jedi did not waste money on decorating the rooms. I turned my attention on him, seeing what I could consciously pick from him, not caring if he noticed or not. He must have been shielding his thoughts and inner self, because all I got was his calm, but cheerful mood. He seemed to only show a bit more personality when out of class. I thought this might be a good time to ask a question I thought a lot about. I didn’t know if this would come out as rude, or blunt, but I was dying to know the answer. I gathered my courage and nerves and asked him if he was a knight or a master.

“I am a knight”

Oh. That was all I could think of. Did that mean he had an apprentice? Did that mean he would want a student? Would he want me? I shook my head. There was no point in going down this path of a possible future with him. There were a lot better choices than me. Plus, he was a knight. He had to be busy, too busy to really notice me. I was somewhat hurt by this thought, but accepted it. I said a quiet good bye, left the room, and went for breakfast.

The day went slowly, but calmly. The stretching class was turning more into a light exercise class. The meditation class went better than the last time, but my heart wasn’t really in it. I didn’t know why, but I was hurt by the idea Master Mirmo wasn’t interested in taking me as an apprentice. I struggled with the concept it really was my fault. I was the one who lost control. I was the one who allowed my emotions to flare to that point. I must have annoyed or disappointed him, making him look after a grown woman.

Dinner had gone better then usual. I picked a table with only one girl sitting there, with her plate empty, reading something. She was so into whatever she was reading, she hardly noticed me sit down. We didn’t talk, but that didn’t bother me. At lease I didn’t seem so alone, like something was wrong with me. I didn’t stick out anymore.

After dinner, I grabbed my music player, and went searching for a room where I could get lost in the sound, the beat, and the feeling of my music. I came across a room that had a certain right feeling to it. The strange thing was, the room must have been some sort of training room, for there were wooden blocks all over the floor, scattered in no particular pattern. I came in, turned on the light, set my player down, and looked at the blocks. At the center of the room there was a small clear space. The space was no bigger then what I was use to dancing in. This would do just nicely.

I turned on the music, went to the cleared spot, straighten up, looked up at the wall, and began to dance. I could unconsciously match the beat of the music and change footwork, so I never repeated a move, unless I had a good reason for it. That last part was something that took me six months to learn and to perfect. I used my arms and different levels as I danced. I made myself travel around that area, not just stand in one spot. Because I wasn’t looking at the floor, brought with years of training in a messy, small room, I had to rely on my ability to be aware of where things were on the floor. I had to listen to Force warnings that told me to stop right then. I learned to feel the Force, to feel the area around me, to be consciously looking through the Force for objects and their distance from me. A solid feeling near my feet told me I was too close to a block and I danced away. I was happy with myself for once. I was doing something right, living up to my standards. I was also being myself, not hiding a secret I longed to reveal. I was right in my prediction that keeping a secret from the Jedi was hard to do.

I had just finished a fast, fun song that truly challenged my ability to sense objects as I flew across the room, never stopping. A voice from behind me said:

“That’s very good. Who taught you that?”

I spun around and saw Master Mirmo standing there. Oh no! Panic raced through me.
He saw me dance. He saw me avoid time after time, those blocks. He must have felt me use the Force. What could I say? My secret, my plan was ruined.