Trust

“Why it has to be so hard?” His last words lingered inside her head. “Why can’t you trust in me?” Having a sedative effect on her, her brain was going blank, she only could picture the look on his face while he was saying this to her. “Lisa, I can’t go on with this if you don’t tell me what’s wrong with you.” She tried to make him understand, but the question he always asked and she never answered floated above them like a ghost. And he asked again. Silence was once more her answer and so he left. He just left breaking down the relationship that Lisa and him had. And of course, that broke Lisa apart.

The following days, Lisa did a lot of thinking and came to the conclusion that Frankie was right bout one thing and that was that they couldn’t be together any longer, it would be too painful for both of them. But he disserved to know the truth, he disserved a reason. And she was willing to give it to him, even knowing him too well to anticipate his reaction. When her luggage was ready and the trip was set, she left her house heading for his.

“I’m coming!” Lisa heard his voice yelling from the inside, somehow she knew he had been crying. The red swollen eyes that stared at her when Frankie opened the door proved she was right.

“I need to talk to you.” She said while the still speechless Frankie let her in. She sighed not really having an idea of where to begin. “I… I’m leaving tomorrow.” Frankie stared at her.

“Where are you going?”

“Somewhere, away from here…” Lisa faced the door fighting her tears.

“Why?”

“Because.” She sighed again and sat of the couch. “I need to explain everything to get to my reason.”

“Are you finally telling me what is wrong with you?” He sat beside her.

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure of how you’re gonna react, but I guess I have to say this to you.” She took a deep breath, trying to gather all her courage. “Well, I know I’ve pushed you away lately, but I had a reason.”

“A reason to hurt me? Do you have any idea of how much that hurted?”

“Trust me, that will be nothing compared with what I’m gonna tell you right now.”

“So?” Frankie was impatient and Lisa just couldn’t find the words to tell him anything, so he gave up to one of his biggest fears. “Lisa, please just be honest with me. If you have another relationship, if you’ve found someone else… just tell me.” Now she was extremely surprised.

“Do you really think I was cheating on you?”

“That’s the most logic explanation I could find! You never said anything and you avoided the subject every time I tried to discuss it! What do you want me to think?” Frankie stood up and paced infront of her.

“I can’t believe you! I love you more that I’ve even loved anyone else and you know that!” Lisa also stood up and faced him.

“So why couldn’t you tell me?”

“Cause I wanna keep you away from that! Cause you have no idea how much is gonna hurt you or how much is hurting me right now! That’s why I’m leaving tomorrow! Cause I don’t wanna put you through that!”

“You still haven’t said what the hell is wrong!” Frankie stared straight into her eyes, but Lisa looked away. “C’mon, I’m waiting!” He shouted again. “See? I guess I’m rig--” He started.

“Cancer, damn it!!” She cut him off, then buried her face between her hand and started crying. “I have cancer…” She sobbed. He just looked at her.

“What?”

“You heard me! That’s why I don’t want you near me! It’s already killing me and I just couldn’t stand to see you watching me die.” She crumbled down and fell on the floor.

“I’m sorry…” He whispered kneeling beside her. “I’m so sorry…” He hugged her tight and started crying too. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know… Please, forgive me… I never wanted to push you away, but I just…” She sobbed and buried her face on his shoulder shaking.

“I know… But you can’t leave me… Please, you can’t just go.”

“I told you. I can’t make you go through that. I just can’t.” She faced him again. “I love you too much to hurt you that bad.” He hugged her again and they just stayed there holding each other in silence.

“How much till…?” He asked in a whisper.

“Too little…” Lisa pulled away from him and wiped her tears away.

“Is there anything I can do to make you stay with me?” He pleaded.

“Don’t even try. I can be strong for me, but not for you.” Frankie held her again.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too…” Lisa faced him and they kissed. Both felt the same stingy pain through their chest knowing it was the last kiss they would share. “You don’t even know how much I love you…” Lisa stood up and slid away from his arms almost against her will.

Frankie knew there was nothing to do to stop her and also against his will he let her go. “Bye…” She whispered from the door looking at him for the very last time before her tears blurred her vision. There was no answer so she just turned away left his house…