He'll Be the Death of Me, I Swear
Just Your Average Masochist
I was sitting next to Landyn in class and I was very aware of his presence. Why? I had no idea, but he made me feel so exposed just by him sitting so close to me. And it seemed as though I could almost tell when his eyes were on me; like he was in my head. I had to shake off the feeling and focus really hard to restrain myself from doing anything bad--like trying to touch his hand or just him in general.The urge to do it was really great, but I managed through sheer willpower. But it seemed like he was trying to make me lose my restraint.
No, that's stupid. Why would he want to do that?
"Now, it seems like I'm the only one speaking. And I'm quite sure you don't enjoy hearing me ramble on relentlessly," Landyn was telling me, but he couldn't be more wrong. I loved hearing the voice of an angel.
"Well, you're more interesting than me," I told him, clutching my hands together so I couldn't touch his face to see if it was as smooth as his voice.
"I beg to differ. You're much better of a person, believe me."
"How so?" I asked him, baffled.
"Just trust me. I'm a sick sadistic man." He glanced at me from the corner of his eye as if to size up my reaction
"What have you done that is so horrible?"
"It's what I do almost every day." That had me a bit frightened as I remembered my dream. But that was an irrational fear. Vampires and werewolves were just another fairytale: like gremlins and unicorns. There was nothing to be afraid of, I convinced myself. Or more so I tried to convince myself. It didn't work so well.
"What is that?" I tried to act uninterested as if it would make him less hesitant to tell me. I tilted my head and leaned closer to him like I always did when trying to get something of Jacob. He tensed and leaned away, averting his entire face from me.
"Nothing. Forget it." He refused to look at me, so my sour expression did nothing for me.
"Fine," I sighed with deep regret.
"I'm terribly sorry, love, but I'd rather not risk losing you." Then I said something I probably shouldn't have.
"You could never lose me." His eyes widened and he turned to face me again with a wide grin on his face.
"Oh?" he purred softly, leaning towards me. I gulped, taken back by his sudden closeness. Only a few seconds ago he was trying to be as far away from me as possible and now he was trying to be so close. "No matter what you will always be mine?"
How was I supposed to respond to that? I bit my lip and he nodded as if he understood. Hell, maybe he did.
"Jacob, right?" he asked me and I nodded.
"I don't know how to deal with him. It's like I just want to be friends, but he can't accept that."
"You date no one so he thinks maybe you want to date him, but you really don't have time. You and I both know that is just an excuse." Landyn was only getting closer to me as time passed.
"But I don't want to hurt him anymore than I already have."
"You're not hurting him: he's hurting himself. And he's enjoying it."
"Landyn, what are you trying to say?" I was confused by this point. "Other than that you hate Jacob?" He laughed at this, but it was an uneasy kind of laughter.
"I want to ask, but I'm afraid of the consequences."
"Do these consequences have to do with me being in danger?" I asked him, suspicious. He shook his head.
"I gave up on avoiding those consequences. I'm a selfish man, Danica-Marie. And I'll always be that sadistic kind of guy," he paused before continuing. "I only hope you'll still accept me knowing that." I tilted my head and leaned towards him again, questioning him. This time he leaned closer and inhaled deeply, his eyes clouding over. "You smell sweet, floral even...I wanted to know if you would like to go out sometime." I sat straight up, frozen.
I knew what my heart wanted to say and I knew what my head wanted me to say. They didn't cooperate well and either way I had to trust one more than the other. His eyes bore into mine and he looked gorgeous even as nervous as he was.
"Landyn..."
"Yes?" he asked anxiously, waiting for my answer. I opened my mouth and let him know my one word response.
No, that's stupid. Why would he want to do that?
"Now, it seems like I'm the only one speaking. And I'm quite sure you don't enjoy hearing me ramble on relentlessly," Landyn was telling me, but he couldn't be more wrong. I loved hearing the voice of an angel.
"Well, you're more interesting than me," I told him, clutching my hands together so I couldn't touch his face to see if it was as smooth as his voice.
"I beg to differ. You're much better of a person, believe me."
"How so?" I asked him, baffled.
"Just trust me. I'm a sick sadistic man." He glanced at me from the corner of his eye as if to size up my reaction
"What have you done that is so horrible?"
"It's what I do almost every day." That had me a bit frightened as I remembered my dream. But that was an irrational fear. Vampires and werewolves were just another fairytale: like gremlins and unicorns. There was nothing to be afraid of, I convinced myself. Or more so I tried to convince myself. It didn't work so well.
"What is that?" I tried to act uninterested as if it would make him less hesitant to tell me. I tilted my head and leaned closer to him like I always did when trying to get something of Jacob. He tensed and leaned away, averting his entire face from me.
"Nothing. Forget it." He refused to look at me, so my sour expression did nothing for me.
"Fine," I sighed with deep regret.
"I'm terribly sorry, love, but I'd rather not risk losing you." Then I said something I probably shouldn't have.
"You could never lose me." His eyes widened and he turned to face me again with a wide grin on his face.
"Oh?" he purred softly, leaning towards me. I gulped, taken back by his sudden closeness. Only a few seconds ago he was trying to be as far away from me as possible and now he was trying to be so close. "No matter what you will always be mine?"
How was I supposed to respond to that? I bit my lip and he nodded as if he understood. Hell, maybe he did.
"Jacob, right?" he asked me and I nodded.
"I don't know how to deal with him. It's like I just want to be friends, but he can't accept that."
"You date no one so he thinks maybe you want to date him, but you really don't have time. You and I both know that is just an excuse." Landyn was only getting closer to me as time passed.
"But I don't want to hurt him anymore than I already have."
"You're not hurting him: he's hurting himself. And he's enjoying it."
"Landyn, what are you trying to say?" I was confused by this point. "Other than that you hate Jacob?" He laughed at this, but it was an uneasy kind of laughter.
"I want to ask, but I'm afraid of the consequences."
"Do these consequences have to do with me being in danger?" I asked him, suspicious. He shook his head.
"I gave up on avoiding those consequences. I'm a selfish man, Danica-Marie. And I'll always be that sadistic kind of guy," he paused before continuing. "I only hope you'll still accept me knowing that." I tilted my head and leaned towards him again, questioning him. This time he leaned closer and inhaled deeply, his eyes clouding over. "You smell sweet, floral even...I wanted to know if you would like to go out sometime." I sat straight up, frozen.
I knew what my heart wanted to say and I knew what my head wanted me to say. They didn't cooperate well and either way I had to trust one more than the other. His eyes bore into mine and he looked gorgeous even as nervous as he was.
"Landyn..."
"Yes?" he asked anxiously, waiting for my answer. I opened my mouth and let him know my one word response.