Pup Among the Big Dogs

Hours passed slowly and neither of us attempted any conversation. I still didn't blame him. That night...Ian didn't even bother to tell me that he loved me. I guess I had finally done it: I had chased him off.

He just lay down and went to sleep without a word. Not even good night. I hadn't gotten any sleep that night. I had paid for that the next day.

He was feeling better, so he was running to get home--and mostly away from me. I stumbled along half asleep behind him. Unfortunately, he did wait eventually. He never did offer to carry me...Like he used to.

We were in the woods by sunset and he seemed eager to get back home.

"Go. I'll catch up," I whispered softly, trying not to sound as hurt as I felt inside. He didn't make a sound. He didn't even look at me. He just took off as fast as he could and I sat down. "I'll write my note to them. It's the least I can do. They deserve something. Even if they don't want it."

I walked on, alone, slowly. By nightfall I was at my parents' home. They were asleep, so I just made myself at home. One look in my bedroom proved that Ian was truly done with me: he wasn't there. I sat down on the couch and grabbed a pad and pen. I wouldn't burden them any longer. I'd probably go back to my step-brother. I hadn't realized how much I missed him.

His reaction to seeing me would make my decision on to stay or go to Alaska. I was half hoping he would kick me out of the house.

"Dear Gerald and Kristine,

I am sorry I wasn't what you wanted. I'm sorry you felt obliged to raise me since you were the ones who--by some horrid prank by God--brought me into this world. Mostly, I'm sorry that you felt that I needed someone to be loved by.

Tell Ian I'm sorry to have burdened him. I'm sorry that I caused so much trouble. And I'm sorry I made him not want to even pretend to love me anymore. I would tell you this in person, but then you would tell me I'm being ridiculous and say that you love me and whatever. I don't want the lies and false pretenses, so I'm leaving.

Don't worry about me. I'll find someone else to burden myself upon. Don't look for me either. I can look after myself when I come of age. I'm going back into human society, where I belong. I was never meant to have my dream come true. I just don't deserve it.

Thank you for putting up with me for so long,
Renee-Anne Hanson.

(P.S. I'm not Isabel Madison any longer. I'm closing this chapter of my life for your benefit.)"

I didn't pack anything since all of my true belongings were back at my real home. I hoped I would still be welcomed at home. I was going to college now. How could I get away with this? Since I had phased, I looked a lot older. And it was easy enough to forge school grades and whatever. Especially when your step-brother was there to help you when he had done it as well.

I stepped into the woods and whispered good bye to the life I had wanted so badly, but had not earned. I was to be a normal human, just like most of the population of America and the entire world for that matter.

Zach was right. I was a normal human girl and I was definitely meant to be just that.