Pup Among the Big Dogs

I stopped crying eventually and just held Ian. It wasn't fair for me to cry when I wasn't one of the people tortured by my disappearance.

"I'm so sorry, Ian," I mumbled into his chest. He held me tighter.

"Don't be. All that matters is that I can hold you now; that I can finally start living. It's a bit late, I'll admit, but I'll take it." I felt so bad. I didn't want to love him right away, but it wasn't fair to make him wait any longer. How selfish could I be? I hated myself for leaving him this long without someone to love and someone to love him back. There was only one thing I could do that wouldn't be horrible.

"I love you," I told him as naturally as I could. He sighed and pulled away to look at me.

"Don't do this," he begged, with a tortured look in his eyes that stabbed my heart. What had I done now? "Don't lie to me. You just met me. I love you, but you don't love me. It will take time and I understand that. Tell me when you mean it, but don't lie because you think it'll make me feel better. Please, that is worse than you saying you don't love me. Until then, I understand if you just want to act like friends. But you could give me a few simple requests." I wanted to make him happy since he was sacrificing so much so I nodded. "Well, I'm allowed to stay here so I was wondering if you'd let me sleep beside you at night." I nodded. That wasn't too outrageous. "And if I could kiss you."

"Umm," I stuttered.

"I'm sixteen and I've never kissed a girl." Okay, so even I had kissed a boy, unwillingly though. "I just mean simple kisses, nothing extreme, I swear." I sighed mentally.

"Just simple ones."

"When you love me I would hope they could get a little more complex." I nodded. That wasn't so unreasonable, but I still didn't altogether like it. Yeah, he was stunning, but still. "Thank you," he told me. I smiled slightly.

"You’re welcome."

He twined our fingers together and examined my hand, playing with my fingers. We sat there in silence for a bit until he decided to do something.

"How about now?" he asked quietly. I bit my lip, but nodded. It was simple like he had promised and was over just like that for it was just a brief kiss. He smiled sweetly as though I had just proclaimed my undying love for him. "Thank you," he told me. "It's horrible not knowing what it's like to kiss a beautiful girl." I looked at him as if he was insane. He smiled, playing with my fingers again. "So when is your birthday?" he asked casually. I knew why he wanted to know: he wanted to know when I would be moving in with him.

"It's in about five months," I told him.

"I'm sure I can make you fall hopelessly in love with me by then," he said sweetly, kissing my cheek. I smiled softly. He was sweet, I'd give him that.

"I hope so," I told him and I really did. He hugged me quickly and kissed me softly. I gave him that and he helped me up. When we opened the door I scowled: my mom was standing there. She stood up straight, embarrassed. "Hello, mom." I had an accusing tone to my voice.

"Um, I was going to, um...I was looking for your father!" She ran off and I rolled my eyes, not able to keep a smile from showing on my face. Eventually I would find my mother eavesdropping on me annoying, but until then it was pleasant knowing I had a mom who cared about me enough to spy on me.

Ian wrapped his arm around my waist, unhappy with just holding my hand, and led me to the main room. When we sat down he put his arm around my shoulder again and turned on the TV. I was more exhausted than I thought and my eyelids grew heavy. The last thing I remember was Ian laying me down and putting my head in his lap, whispering, "Sweet dreams, dearest." I do know that I fell asleep with a small smile plastered to my face and I obeyed his command.