Pup Among the Big Dogs

When I awoke I was in a panic. I didn't know where I was at all. In fact, when I saw a sleeping boy lying beside me I nearly screamed. Yet, when his soft and warm eyes opened slowly, all of yesterday's events came rushing back from the dead.

"Hey," he said softly with a slight yawn. "Sleep well?" I glanced around the room, remembering last night. Was he implying something?

"Yeah. How about you?" I was scrutinizing his expression, trying to read his thoughts.

"Yeah...I wasn't cold for once." An innocent enough reply that I wouldn't pick at. After all, no need to make something of nothing. "And I dreamt of you." Now that was a different matter and got my heart skipping a few beats.

"What happened in it?" I asked, trying desperately to mask my growing nervousness.

"I'm not so sure you would want to hear it..." That didn't help my poor heart that was thumping wildly in my chest.

"I do!" I said quickly. "I dreamt of you." His eyes lit up at that.

"If I tell you will you tell me?" I nodded and he took in a deep breath before explaining the exact dream I had had the night before—down to the very last detail. I gaped at him and he smiled, thinking it was flattery in my head, not fear. "Your turn now."

"I don't need to." He tilted his head slightly. "You already explained it for me...word for word," I breathed and he gawked back at me.

"Well there was more...but..." I urged him to go on, though later I wished I hadn't. "Or I thought it was a dream, but it wasn't. I know it." He was sizing up my expression with his eyes. Nervousness was blatantly scrawled across my face. "Why did you kiss me like that last night—when you thought I was asleep?"

"I-I," I stuttered. He waited patiently for my words to become coherent. "I wanted to see if it was as good as the dream made it seem." His brow furrowed.

"But I was supposedly asleep. You could have just asked me." He was obviously confused by my logic.

"Well," I began slowly, picking up speed as I went. "You said when I loved you back we would do that. And I was curious and it'd have been awkward if I had known you were awake." He was constantly struggling to keep up my words and there was a pause before he spoke.

"How so?" He propped himself up on his elbows as he stared up into my eyes. I averted my gaze to the floor.

"Because I've never tried that before and if I was bad at it..." I trailed off.

"If it's any consolation: you weren't. You weren't bad in the least." I glanced at him quickly before looking at my hands as I twiddled my thumbs in my lap. His eyes were so unreadable it scared me. I saw his hands wrap around mine as he sat up in front of me. He squeezed them tightly before removing them from my hands and putting them on either sides of my face. I looked at him gapingly and confused before he drew me in. He kissed my nose and brushed his lips against mine.

"Please, just once when I can actually react." I didn't say anything—but what was I supposed to say?—and he took it as a yes. He crushed his lips to mine and parted his lips, causing my lips to do the same on reflex.

I don't know how to explain the feeling, but "butterflies" was only the beginning of it. I didn't love him—at least, not yet—but I felt so comfortable with him. He didn't pressure me, but it was still...wonderful, for lack of a better word. When he finally looked at me through open eyes I was staring straight at him. He bit his lip, looking down.

"I'm going to get dressed," he told me quietly and abruptly as he stood and walked to my closet, grabbing clothes that he had left there in the years of my absence. He headed out the door as quietly as possible for him. I slowly got to my feet and yanked out the first set of clothes I saw. I changed quickly and threw my hair in messy pigtails before heading out the door to see that Ian had been faster than me as he was already waiting. He took my hand in his and escorted me to the living room.

"Good morning," my mother said drowsily as she walked into the kitchen.

"Morning," Ian replied instinctively, turning on the television.

"Is there a trail I can run?" I asked Ian. He nodded but remained silent for long enough to make me ask, "Where?"

"I'll show you later and we can run it." We?

"I have a routine," I said in a hushed voice rather quickly. He looked really hurt.

"I want to spend time with you, is that so much to ask? I haven't been close to you in over ten years—that's like...a century of loneliness!" I bit my lip to keep me from saying something would only worsen the situation. Besides, I bet he didn't go to school to know the difference between ten and a hundred years. You know, that's only a ninety year difference!

But I had to be nice. Nice.

"Okay..." Why did he always use the guilt trip? He kissed me softly and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me as close as our bodies would allow.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear. I thought for a second and kissed his cheek. I couldn't tell him I loved him without it being a lie, but I could still give him affection. "I'll get you to love me someday," he promised.

"You better," I muttered. He smiled crookedly and kissed my nose.

"Never would I lie to you."