Where's the Heart?

The Alive and the Dead

"My baby does not harm herself! I'm sure there is a reason she has cuts on her arms. Tell her, Jade! Tell her you're my perfect little angel!"


"Jade, what is you're problem! You have a great life! Why the Hell would you pull a stunt like this?"


"Jade, oh my God. I didn't think you still...I thought you stopped! Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know you were this bad off. You really put up a good front."


"Oh, so you have depression, too? God, Jade! I know the answer so just say it!"

Edwin. That was Edwin.

"God dammit, Jade! Wake up, bitch! Why did you do this? What is your problem?! Get the fuck up! Jade! Get the fuck up!"

Again with Eddy.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I left like that! Just don't die."

Okay, that's enough with the Edwin.

Where was I exactly, anyway? I opened my eyes and looked around carefully, taking everything in. I was no longer in pain, but my arms stung. I looked around until I saw Edwin. That was Ed, right?

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him in a hoarse voice. I cleared my throat, not liking how that sounded.

"What's wrong with me?" His eyes shot up and to me as he stood up. "Me? Nothing is wrong with me! What is wrong with you?!"

"What are you talking about? As I recall you left, so why are you here? No, why am I here?" I looked around the white room. It was kind of making me dizzy. I groaned. I knew where we were.

"I needed to calm down, okay? And as for you being here, you were dying on the floor! What was that for? To make me feel terrible?! Because that's what it did!"

"Why would you care?" I asked, vaguely remembering that those words were what started the same fight earlier.

"Jade...Really. Stop that. I do care, okay? I fucking care about you, even though you're a moron."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," I muttered.

"This isn't funny!" he yelled and I cringed which brought some pain. I cried out and Ed jumped to his feet, startled. "Sorry. But this isn't funny, Jade. You could have died. For what? Did you want to make me think it was my fault or what?"

"I was mad. That's what I do. It's how I solve problems."

"I have a feeling I'm going to be watching you like a hawk for a while."

"I have a feeling that would probably be a good idea."

I wasn't protesting to his company. I still did...like the guy. A bit more than I should. But he seemed so human at the moment, so how could I not? And the distressed look worked for him.

"Just get me home before they come back, please," I begged.

"No cutting or drugging up?"

"I make no promises," I told him and he sighed.

"I get to babysit my whole life. Grand."

And just before the nurse came to lecture me, Edwin carried me out the window and to the car. The ride was silent and I slept the whole way home.