Where's the Heart?

Days Spent with You

Things like this should make you happy. Things like this should make you feel blessed. Things like this should make you feel so...alive. Things like this shouldn't make you feel so crummy.

What am I talking of? Edwin and myself. It'd been a year since that first funked up kiss and hundreds of them later, here I was. I loved him, I knew. Normally I got tired of a guy and dropped him like a rock in two months top. Rarely had I ever been the dumped, if you call it that.

So why was I so not liking this? Because it wasn't right. I knew it wasn't right and I had known for way over a a year. I didn't want him to leave, but he had to! My heart ached for him, but it wasn't meant to be.

I shifted the promise ring on my finger that he told me would someday be traded in...for a wedding ring. That should have made me cry out of happiness, not out of frustration. I would have loved to call him fiance, but it wasn't right! How could something so wrong feel so wonderful?

I had fallen in love with a vampire--and one that loved my blood at that! And I was just a human. I would die and get old as he remained gorgeous forever. Sure, I could eternally damn myself, but I didn't want to live forever. I wanted to know I could actually die someday! He had my heart and he always would. I would leave it with him forever, whether he wanted it or not.

But just how could this go on? It wouldn't work out in the end and I was just hurting myself--and more importantly Edwin--by letting this continue.

There was a reason they called it forbidden love.

"I love you," Edwin told me, holding me so tight that my lungs were gasping for air.

"I love you, too," I told him softly, burying my face in his chest. I was going to cry. He couldn't see me cry.

"So what's it like?" he asked me.

"What's it like to what?" I asked, baffled.

"To be an angel." Oh my, that was corny. So very corny. He had changed a lot. "And what's it like to be an Edwin virgin?" Oh, there he was!

"Men are such pigs," I told him in a mutter.

"Honestly, Jade. Are you waiting for the wedding or what? If that's the case, then I better propose right now!"

Don't even joke about that...

"Eddy, you're ruining the moment."

"Funny, I've heard that before. Oh yes, every time I bring this up. Whenever you talked about me 'taking you', I never said 'Oh Jade, dear, you're ruining the moment! Hush, my love and savor it!'," he told me dryly.

"That's because I thought you didn't care for me in the least bit. And I was never serious, you know," I taunted.

"You sure sounded serious," he mumbled and I slapped his arm.

I was going to miss this, but I knew I couldn't stay in his arms forever. No matter how pleasant the chills going down my arms were...