Insert Romantic Title Here

Poor Bob. That whole next week he didn’t speak once. His face seemed to be set in stone. And it was affecting everyone around him. We found ourselves letting him go off for a while alone just because looking in his dull blue eyes gave us a degrading melancholy sensation. Everyone pitched in to get at least a smile out of our friend. Of course our feeble attempts came with empty results. I guess we all underestimated Bob’s feelings towards Jackie.

“I’ve been noticing a big change in his performances on stage, too,” Chad commented one day when Frank and I were asking what he thought on the subject. “His energy level took a nose dive and I think it’s effecting everyone in the band.”

“Yeah, he didn’t give me one of those looks that he always does that one time at that show two days ago.”

“Very specific, Frank thanks for that valuable piece of information.”

He gave his signature toothy grin and Chad returned it with a smack. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“So it sounds to me, you have to make him smi-”

“We’ve already tried everything!” I butted in.

“Ah, you really think so, Miss Katie?” He reached for a crumpled paper smashed at the bottom of a cup holder and gave it to me.

I unfolded it and smiled. Frank came in leaning over my shoulder and read it. His pounding laughter hurt my ears.

“WE’RE SO STUPID!” He declared and hit himself on the forehead.

“But where’d you find it?” I asked.

“He must have dropped it, I found it on the floor during a show. Lucky I found it.”

“I can’t believe he forgot about this!” I half laughed as I shoved it into my pocket.

“He must’ve been too sad to remember.”

“Come on, Frank we’ve got some cheering up to do!” I rushed out of my seat and stumbled to the back. “Thanks, Chad!”

“Anytime!”
-----
As much as we hated to wait to give this information to Bob, all of us felt that this was news to give to him just before a show. It would defiantly pick the performance up, and after a week of “okay” reviews, we were ready for the best show that anyone could expect.

I could hardly contain my excitement as I chaotically pulled on my knee length rainbow striped socks and black shirt with an untied electric blue necktie hanging around it. My hands shaking from anticipation, I attempted to apply a bit of makeup, but it was too much for my body to handle. I hurried out the door and to the arena where it was just Mikey and Ray were waiting for everyone else to finish up. Wow, I really was excited.

“Um, Katie?” Ray spoke up.

“Yes?”

“Your tie.” He pointed to my tie; it was still dangling around my neck, untied.

“Oh, heh, thanks.”

I fumbled with it as the rest of the group arrived with Melissa and Chad.

“Need help there, Kate-a-lin?” Frank came bouncing up to me.

“Don’t call me Kaitlin,” I grumbled, very agitated. Frank pouted. Just as he did I pulled down tightly on my tie and it was completed. Finally.

Chad came over to me and whispered in my ear:

“Do it, now!”

“How could I not?!” I whispered back.

I put my hands behind my back and quietly retrieve the paper as I stepped up to him, smiley as ever.

“Bob, I have something for you.”

He looked up at me with those big sad eyes. They were uninterested and detached. I knew they wouldn’t be for too much longer.

“TA DA!” I whipped out the paper from behind me and he took it and opened it.

Instantly a smile appeared on his face and his eyes had their life restored. He kissed the paper and began laughing and dancing around with it.

“I thought I’d lost it!” He exclaimed to the sky. “You beautiful girl you!” He ran over to me and picked me up with a hug and planted a wet kiss on my cheek.

“Bob,” I struggled for the air to speak. “I didn’t find it, Chad did.”

He let me go and I fell to the ground. Skipping over to Chad Bob spread out his arms. Chad backed away.

“No, Bob, that’s okay!”

Bob spun around again and kissed the crumpled paper.

“So let’s do this!” He ran on stage for the sound check.

We all stared at each other dumb struck.

“What was it?” Gerard asked, clearly not catching on.

“It was Jackie’s phone number, big brother,” Mikey laughed putting an arm around Gerard.

“OH!” He laughed in spite himself and we all went flying on stage after Bob.
-----
It was a perfect show. Bob’s energy seemed to have a great effect on the band as a whole and thus got their fans that much more into the music. Melissa and I were acting strange as usual and shouted funny things to the guys that we knew only they would get, that just made them get hyped up more. Frankie stuck his tongue out at me once and Gerard had to yell at him. Not directly of course, but it was a scolding nonetheless.

Headfirst For Halos was blasting in our ears and it was nearing the end of the concert. Gerard’s voice was flaring through the speakers: “Think happy thoughts” with everyone chanting along. The song ended with a bang and it was time for the closing number, Helena.

I couldn’t help but think back to that night. It happened almost every time I heard this song now. Back to Mel and I screaming along to our silent radio as we drove to the concert that would ultimately change our lives forever.

There was a giant crash and the music instantly stopped, the silence breaking me from my memory. I turned to my side to see that Melissa was gone. She was running to the other side of the stage where a large circle was forming. I ran to catch up with her.

“Melissa!” I screamed after her.

“RAY!” She yelled through the mass of bodies. “LET ME THROUGH!”

I worked my way through the crowd and saw Ray lying on the floor, he wasn’t moving, his eyes were closed, and my brain immediately reacted. I jumped to his side.

“I know him!” I yelled at the security guard.

“I’m going to ask you to step back, ma’am,” He told me.

Melissa came to Ray’s side also.

“Is he okay?” She asked tears running down her face. Seeing her crying made my own tears start to weld.

“I’m checking for pulse,” I told her as I felt his wrist and put my ear to his chest to check for breathing. “What happened?” I asked choking back tears, trying to remain in control.

Melissa could only shake her head; she seemed to be at a complete loss for words.

The security guard was loosing his patience with us. The crowd he was trying to control was becoming harder to.

“Katie! Melissa!” Frank came running up to us, with everyone else close behind.

“Frank!” Melissa looked up at him with her glimmering eyes.

“Melissa, I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to!” He pleaded more with himself than he did with her.

She put her arm around him and wiped his cheeks. “I know.”

“Back off,” Frank told the guard as he was coming up to yell at us.

“EVERYONE STEP BACK!” Gerard yelled at everyone. They all got silent.

As he was talking to the crowd I checked the back of Ray’s head for blood. My heart stopped when I saw his blood on my hand.

“-And everything will be fine!” Gerard finished his sentence.

“Gerard?” I called for him still mortified.

He turned around and saw what was on my hand.

“Give me a cell phone!” He demanded from the nearest person.

“Already done, Gerard!” Chad came from backstage, “An ambulance is here.”

They got Ray onto a stretcher and carried him on the ambulance.

“I’m going with him,” Frank told everyone and he climbed into the ambulance.

It started driving away and we started following it on the bus.

“What happened?!” I asked.

“Frank was playing backwards and bumped into Ray, then Ray fell off the stage… and well… you know the rest.”

My eyes widened with horror. Now I knew why Frank kept apologizing. Poor Frank. Poor Ray!

Oh, I hope he’s okay.

Everyone was silent. All I could hear was the sound of a watch ticking. Over and over. Counting the seconds that we were waiting in agony.

Melissa was still crying and Mikey was holding her. Gerard and Bob were silent and I only had a few silent tears rolling down my cheeks. I wish that someone would just say something to stop that damn watch from ticking. With every tick it made I thought that it was the last tick for Ray. He might’ve only fell off the stage, but there was blood.

I looked down at my hands. His blood was drying on it. I stared at them and more tears came blurring my vision. I wiped them away and ended up getting blood on my face. I tried wiping that off with my other hand but quickly gave up. The ticking kept distracting me. I stared at the watch that was the source of this ticking. It stared at me, mocking me with every passing second. It was screaming in my face the cruel possibilities. It taunted me until I couldn’t take it anymore.

With a giant sigh I jumped over to the watch and angrily tossed it on the floor. In all my rage I stomped on it until I realized that the others were still sitting here.

Melissa’s sobbing ceased and everyone looked from the floor to me and back at the watch. I stared back at them and then quickly disappeared into the bathroom to wash off my face and so they wouldn’t hear my sobs.
-----
It seemed impossible but the waiting room was worse than the ride to the hospital. Frank wanted to go back with Ray but the doctors refused to let him through. It seemed like hours until there was any news of how Ray was doing.

“Mr. Way?” A doctor called entering the waiting room. Both Mikey and Gerard stood up. The doctor looked confused and looked back down at his clipboard. “Mr. Gerard Way?” Mikey sat back down and Gerard followed the doctor.

Melissa couldn’t take sitting anymore. She stood up and impatiently paced back and forth. She kept rubbing her forehead in despair. Mikey saw her silent need for serenity and reached out for her hand. She stopped and smiled at him, he returned the favor. He motioned for her on his lap and she sat down. With his arms protecting her he gently rocked her and whispered in her ear.

Gerard emerged from behind the doors about three minutes later. Everyone shot up and waited for Gerard to tell us anything about Ray.

“Well,” He began running his fingers through his hair. “He’s just waking up, they already put the stitches in, we’ll be able to see him in a half an hour. In the meantime I think we should get something to eat.”

“Oh thank, GOD!” Melissa laughed and gave Mikey a massive hug. He laughed and hugged her back. They looked each other in the eye and kissed.

I heard Melissa tell me they’d kissed before, but seeing it was almost unreal, amazing, but still unreal.
-----
Things still didn’t feel quite normal while we were eating. Nothing really flowed like it did before. Frank was still quiet. Bob and Gerard were playing paper football with a napkin and Mikey, Melissa, and I were talking quietly.

It was a little past midnight when we could finally go in and see Ray.

“I’m going first,” Frankie said blankly as he walked ahead of us and entered Ray’s room.
We all waited outside while Frank was talking to Ray. It didn’t take as long as I’d imagined. Maybe tops six minutes. When Frank came out he had his natural smile back and his perky attitude. He grabbed my hand and led me in. Everyone else followed.

There was Ray, sitting up in his bed and smiling at us. All he could do was laugh when Melissa fell down at his bedside and started kissing his hand.

“Oh, Ray! You scared me so much!” She exclaimed in between kisses. The more she pecked at his hand the more he laughed. “I would give you a hug but you look so frail in that bed! I might break you!”

He shrugged and Mel backed away to let the others get their chance to talk to him. We stayed with him the whole night and slept in chairs and on each other’s laps. I wish I could say I slept that night. But I didn’t. I don’t know why, but I still felt like Ray was unconscious. I still felt like I had his blood on my hands. It all happened so fast, I felt like I would never get over that feeling. That terrible feeling that you weren’t sure if you were going to see someone again, even if you were just overeating. The whole experience was just too over whelming to imagine. It felt distant yet amazingly close at the same time. Dreamlike yet surprisingly factual. It’s just a feeling that I’d have to learn to cope with over time.

I scanned over the sleeping bodies before finally drifting off to sleep. My eyes couldn’t help but stop on Gerard. His peaceful breathing counted the rhythm for my dreams as my eyes slowly closed, letting all the events of the day fully sink in.
-----
Ray was released that morning with great relief. He said that if he had to spend more than one day in that place he was going to escape. It was kind of disappointing though, when they found out that they had to miss their show in Seattle.

“I hate it! I feel like I’m disappointing fans!” Ray banged his fist on the table.

“It’s not your fault!” Frank reassured.

“Yeah, we’ll find a way to make it up to them!” Gerard piped up.

There was a silence. Maybe they were thinking of these ways Gerard was talking about.

“And I wanted to go to Seattle!” Melissa finally screamed slamming her foot on the floor. We all stared at her. She sheepishly smiled and sat back down again.

Another silence followed. I wasn’t really thinking of anything. I just starred out the window, mindlessly seeing everything that past by. I was seeing but the images weren’t sticking. Before I knew it everyone was gone.

I turned around to see that it was just Melissa that was beside me. She was reading The Catcher In The Rye, Gerard had told her to read it and I guess she was following his advise.

“Where’d everyone go?” I asked.

She looked up at me surprised. I guess she forgot I was there.

“Oh, they’re in the back. Working on songs.”

I nodded.

“Do you think they’ll mind if we go back and… I dunno… help?”

She raised her brow and closed her book. She shrugged. “I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

We got up together and went back to join the guys.

We walked in and Gerard was singing and Ray was working on something with guitar. They stopped and looked at us when they came in.

“Do you need any help?” I mumbled.

“I dunno. Can you play?” Frank offered me his guitar. I shook my head and pointed at
Melissa. “You play?” He asked astonished that it hasn’t come up before. She found a spot in the crowded room and took his guitar. She started playing “I’m Not Okay”. Everyone stared at her dumbfounded. Not even I knew she could do that.

“How’d you do that?!” Ray asked when she stopped.

“I had an old guitar that I used to play when I was younger and it just kinda stuck. I used to know a butt load of songs, but then I stopped playing for a while. It wasn’t until a few months ago till I actually picked one up again. I listened to your songs and then I played them,” She explained.

“And how about you? Any magical musical skills you wish to share with us?” Frankie laughed.

I half smiled and fumbled over to an electric keyboard. Man, it feels like forever since I felt so at home with music. I took in a deep breath as I started playing one of my all time favorite songs that I knew how to play on the piano: Angel Of Music.

The musical introduction finished and opened my mouth to begin singing when Melissa started singing. She started with Meg’s part and I came in with Christine’s. My fingers felt safe and secure as they strongly graced each key with silent confidence as the song continued. I completely forgot the world as we entered out two separate parts. Getting more into the song than I can ever remember I thought I found myself starting to play the actual part of Christine, my voice filled with the slightest bit of fear and yet love for this mysterious teacher.

As we sang our last notes I got pulled back into reality and I was, once again, Katie. I looked around the room as I lifted up the final chord. The faces of everyone around me were completely shocked. Frankie seemed to be the only one with a smile on his face. This had me worried. Maybe all those years of piano lessons had been wasted.

I looked down at my feet and started to rise when Gerard took my hand and sat me back down at the piano bench.

“That,” He started. “That was fucking mind blowing.” He broke out into a giant smile and laughed. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“It never came up,” I shrugged.

“And you!” Mikey turned to Melissa. “You are the most lovely thing I’ve ever had the pleasure to behold!” He took her into his arms and passionately kissed her.

I smiled and raised my eyebrows after the kiss had lasted maybe a bit longer than it should have. When he finally released her she had a dazed smile on her face.

The guys just couldn’t stop flooding us with unnecessary praise. Every minute they asked the same question. “Play something else!” I would but that was the only song I can remember how to play.

“Get up,” Gerard demanded one time. He lifted up the piano bench and started rifling through pages of music. He finally found what he was searching for and handed it to me.

“Can you play it?” He asked.

I looked at it. It was a Green Day song. Biting my lip, I studied the notes, trying to hear each of them in my head as I read them. I tucked some hair behind my ear and sat back down.
I played the first chord and looked at Gerard to see if it was right. He smiled and nodded.

The song went on and everyone joined in with there part. Frank was still without his guitar and was obviously bored as we entered into the chorus.

“Why are we still playing!? Let’s write something already!” The song stopped and Gerard went back to writing lyrics and Ray with his guitar. Melissa reluctantly gave up Frank his guitar but he promised they would take turns. It’d be interesting to see how that ended up.
Every now and then Gerard would ask me to fiddle with some tune or give him a starting chord or pitch. But in the spaces in between I would try and remember old songs and try and write a little ditty of my own.

I let my fingers play around with their old memories and found myself coming upon a pretty little tune.

G. F sharp. B. E. D. G. C…. something along those line.

“Yeah maybe if we do something with this line right here…” Gerard stopped. His attention was immediately turned over to me as I continued messing around with the keys.

“What is that?” He asked leaning in closer to get a better look.

“Just something I’m playing around with.”

“Play it again. And say the notes as you play them.”

“Okay.” I had no idea where he was going with this yet I followed his orders anyway.

The tune ended and he had all the notes written down. He made me play it over and over again. Ray figured out a little part on the guitar and Bob with a bit of drums. Gerard adlibbed a few words that didn’t really fit with the tone of the song, he said he was just “funning around.”

“Well, I’m all drummed out. I’m gonna call Jackie!” Bob jumped from behind his set and ran for the phone.

“I’M TOTALLY COMING!” Melissa laughed as she fell to the floor trying to follow him. I shrugged as Mikey rolled his eyes at her clumsiness. “I’m okay!” She got back up and followed Bob. Frank took the liberty of keeping them in line so they don’t break the phone trying to dial. Maybe a little pointless considering he might do more damage than them.
Mikey, Gerard, Ray, and I stayed in the back to talk.

“So, I thought I remember Melissa saying you guys couldn’t sing?” Mikey asked curiously.

“Not when we don’t try, which is most of the time.’

“You should join us on stage sometime!” Ray offered, laughing slightly.

“No way! I’d get too nervous. And besides people pay to see you, not me.”

They laughed and we heard screaming coming from the other room. I sighed, probably Mel and Frank up to no good again.
-----
“NO NOT THAT!” We heard over the screams.

We got too curious to stay back here and listen to what was going on. Frank and Melissa were on the floor and Bob was pressing the phone harder to his ear trying to hear what Jackie was saying on the other line. Confused we stepped out and tried to understand what Bob was saying over the noise from the fools on the floor.

“I’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK!” I heard Bob yell. “THEY’RE GOING CRAZY!”

He hung up the phone and kicked Frank, who was still on the floor. Frank stopped screaming and when Melissa realized she was the only one still screaming she stopped.

They got up off the floor and faced us.

“What the fuck?!” Gerard cursed. “What’s going on?”

“THE RECORD STOOORE!” Frank cried to the heavens, heaving his arms in the air. “IT CAUGHT ON FIIIIRE!”

All of our jaws hit the floor. Not literally of course, but it was still very shocking. We were all speechless. That was terrible! I hope everyone’s all right! Jackie obviously is because she was on the phone. But what about Shelby and Steve?

“Is everyone okay?” Mikey finally asked.

“Yeah everyone’s fine. They were almost trapped though. The whole place is basically burnt up now. The stocks gone, the vintage posters are dust, and some of the money is gone too. So Jackie and Shelby are gonna be without a job for a bit. And poor Steve is gonna have to get another loan from the bank to fix up the place.”

“That’s awful!” I say sitting down. Gerard sits down next to me and Mel and Mikey across from us. “We should help them!”

“How?” Bob asked grabbing bottled water.

“Hand me one,” I demand. He throws it at me and I crack it open. “With the money or something! You guys have lots of money, right?”

“What a silly question, Kate-a-lin!” Frank says flicking a piece of paper at me.

“Yeah that’s a great idea!” Melissa perks up, just now realizing the suggestion that I made two minutes ago.

“She’s kinda slow isn’t she?” Gerard mutters to my under his breath. I giggle and Melissa shoots an intimidating stare my way.

“Sorry,” I cough trying to cover up my laugh.

“Anyways,” Melissa began again, noticeably annoyed. “We should help them out! They put up with us for the weekend! It’s the least we could do!”

“Yeah because we were so annoying!” Mikey says ruffling her hair.

“Stop it!” She laughed.

They put on a little show for us then. She bat his hand away from her face and he batted her hand back. It was like a catfight after that. And when things got too out of control he worked his little charms on her and kissed her. She giggled and then kissed him right back.

I coughed when they had gone on long enough.

“Sorry,” Mikey laughed. He looked at Melissa and she wrinkled her nose in a smile. And just when they were about to do it again Ray hit Mikey’s arm.

“Settle down!”

They blushed in unison. I smiled to myself. What a match made in heaven.

It was funny how we completely forgot about calling Jackie back.

“WHOA!” Bob jumped and danced around. “Stupid phone!” He reached in his back pocket
and pulled out his cell phone. “Why do I even use vibrate?” He asked himself before
answering. “Hello? Oh! Hi Jackie! Hang on call back the other phone so I can put you on speaker. Yeah.” He sighed. “Because it looks like Frank’s gonna attack me! Okay! Thanks!”

He hung up and got ready to answer the other phone on the table. It rang twice before he pressed the “speaker” button.

“HELLO JACKIE!” Everyone yelled in unison. I even thought I heard Chad say ‘hello’.

“Hi, everyone!” She responds. “How is everyone?”

I totally forgot that she still didn’t know about what happened to Ray.

“Well we had a bit of an accident the other day,” I say.

“Oh no! It wasn’t you, Frank, was it?” She teased.

He gave a nervous laugh. “Well…”

“Oh, sorry. So what happened?”

We all took out turns telling what happened. The concert, the ride to the hospital, the wait, and just about everything else.

“Ray! Oh my God! I’m so glad you’re okay!” She exclaimed. “I’d give you a hug… but I can’t.”

“Jackie! I thought that you didn’t like hugs!” Melissa yells.

“They’re growing on me! You guys are quite the influence! Oh! I have an idea! Frank!”

“Yes ma’am!” He responds with a salute even though Jackie couldn’t see it.

“Give Ray a hug for me!” She laughed at her own cleverness.

“Yes ma’am!” He reached over for Ray and smuggles him with his hug.

“Normally, Jackie,” Ray starts. “I wouldn’t accept a hug from Frank. But considering it’s from
you I’ll take it with pride!”

We all laughed and continued talking on about lighter things. Shelby joined in once to say ‘hi’ but she had to be off, she had another date with Steve. The subject of Steve made us think of the fire in the store.

“We had a great idea!” Melissa chimed up about helping out. “We could give you some money to re-do the shop!” She smiled with pride.

“Oh! No, no, no! It’s fine! We don’t need money! But if you have any doubles of records….”
That was the biggest hint I’ve ever heard.

“Yeah, we’ll defiantly check!” Mikey said. He turned to Melissa who was disappointed about her suggestion being a flop. He put his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

The conversation continued and it became dark outside. And I became tired. I said my good-byes to Jackie and went off to change into my PJs and then head to sleep.
-----
There was a loud crash and my eyes flew open. Surprisingly I was still the only one who was actually sleeping. I could still here the conversation with Jackie going on. But then where did the crash come from? I looked around, my eyes still bobbing up and down from sleep.

Gerard was fumbling through his things and he was standing over a bunch of spilt colored pencils and art supplies.

“Oh shit!” HE murmured, still thinking I was sleeping probably.

“Gerard?” I asked. “What are you doing?”

He turned around, in shock, and opened his mouth to speak. I guess he was still trying to recover from his things falling.

“Do you need help?” I offered.

“No… No. It’s okay.”

“So, what were you doing?” I asked again.

“I was, uh… just, nothing. Never mind.”

He scrambled for his pencils and gathered them into his bag. I watched curiously as he went back into the flow of the conversation going on in the other section of the bus.

Odd…

I threw the covers off of me and fumbled over to what Gerard was messing with. There were two sketchbooks and a bunch of art supplies gathered in a small bag. I reached for one of the books and started scanning through it. It was just a bunch of doodles and bits of unfinished sketches. Putting that one down I reached for the other one.

On the first page there was a pair of hands holding a heart. The hands were bloody from the heart and the heart had a knife stabbed in it. Around the hands there was a black circle, the closer to the hands the darker it got. The farther away, the lighter it got, until it became white.

I flipped around and the drawings were really beautiful. Awe inspiring and everyone seemed to have a different theme. One in particular caught my eye.

The one that really stood out was near the beginning and was in a strange way familiar.
In the center of the page there was the moon. It was beautiful. There were two skinny clouds at the bottom of it. They had an amazing trance like quality to them and the shadow they cast upon the moon was almost eerie. Sitting on top of the moon was a girl. She was in a shimmering light blue dress and she had chestnut colored hair that came to about her shoulders and had bangs that covered her eyes. She had a slight smile on her face. Her hands were resting on the great moon and they had such a glow about them that it seemed that they gave the moon its light. It was a beautiful drawing. And the more I stared at it the more familiar it became. The moon. The clouds. Even the girl was familiar to me.

I twirled my finger around my hair and pondered it. My eyes caught the sight of my hair and
everything clicked together.

The night that we were invited on tour, when Gerard and I were outside, and the moon was so gorgeous that night! And I was the girl sitting on the moon. My hair was almost exactly like that! Of course my bangs weren’t as long, but I’m sure that was just for the effect of things.

I checked for a date on the picture. It was dated for that exact date. I couldn’t help myself. I had to think that Bob was right. Maybe Gerard did love me after all! I clamped my hands to my mouth to stop myself from smiling. I don’t know why. I just did.

“Okay, Jackie, I think we’re all gonna go to bed now,” Bob said.

“Fine,” She sighed. “Talk to you soon, right?”

“Of course!” He responded.

“G’nite!” They all said in unison.

“Night!” She said before they hung up.

I quickly managed to put the sketchbooks away and climb in bed before they all filed in. My eyes were closed and I pretended to be asleep.

The hustle of getting in bed didn’t take as long as it usually does. I heard a lot less ruffling of sheets and immediately heard slight snoring coming from Ray.

“Come on, Gerard!” Mikey yelled in a whisper. “What are you doing?”

“What?”

“Yeah, stop starring at Katie!” Frank teased.

I tensed up. Was Gerard looking at me? Or was Frank just kidding?

“Shut up, Frankie!”

“OW!” He whined.

I smiled to myself and turned on my side before drifting off to sleep with the thought repeating in my mind, ‘Maybe Gerard does love me!’ But with the question ‘Do I love him?’ yelling even louder.
-----
I never told anyone else about what I saw in Gerard’s sketchbook that night. I only just pondered the meaning of it all. I wanted to go back and look at the other drawings he had in there for any other clues that might tell me what he felt.

We spent most of our time when we weren’t working on songs or performing on the phone with Jackie. It was almost like she was here with us. And whenever we would come up with a part of a song that we thought was a winner we played it for her over the phone and she would give us feedback.

It was about a month later and April was almost over. We were coming on another weekend off, but Chad refused to tell us exactly where it was we were going to stop. We knew it was somewhere on the east cost because all of out shows around that time were over there. Bob was convinced that it was Norfolk, Virginia and was all hyped up about seeing Jackie again. But Chad had confirmed that it was not Norfolk. That kinda bummed everyone out.

“Come on, Chaddy ole buddy!” Frank nudged. We were all gathered up front trying to get

Chad to tell us where the break was. “Pleeeease?”

“First,” He began. “Don’t call me Chaddy. It just doesn’t fit. And second, NO!”

“Fine, you’ve forced me to take this to a dangerous level.”

We all skeptically eyed each other. This was not going to be safe, knowing Frank.

Without warning Frank covered up Chad’s eyes. The bus swerved back and forth. Chad tried to stay as much in control as possible, but was failing miserably.

“OKAY! IT’S NEW YORK! WE’RE STOPPING IN NEW YORK CITY!”

Frank removed his hand and smiled. “Thank you!” He happily skipped back to us where we took cover under the table.

“Frank, you shit!” Ray yelled.

“At least now we know where we’re going.”

It took me a minute to comprehend that we were going to New York City. And apparently Melissa was completely blank to who lived there.

“HOLY CRAP! CAN WE SEE MY SISTER?!” I jumped up excitedly hitting my head on the bottom of the table.

“Are you okay?” Gerard asked.

“Yeah fine. SO? CAN WE?”

“OH MY GOD! I FORGOT! YEAH CAN WE?” Melissa yelled, being more careful than me on doing so.

“I didn’t even know you had a sister,” Bob commented.

“Well I do. Her name’s Sarah. She’s twenty-five and just got married about six months ago to Thom. They’re so nice! And Thom’s probably the coolest guy ever! Please can we?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Ray said, deciding for the whole group.

Melissa and I clasped hands and jumped up and down like little girls, squealing. We haven’t seen Sarah and Thom since their wedding. And now we’re seeing them with My Chemical Romance! And she doesn’t even know about it!

“I should call her!” I hurried back to get the phone.

“NO!” Melissa stopped me. “Let’s surprise her!”

“Yeah!” I threw the phone down. “WE GET TO SEE SARAH!” We squealed some more and finally settled down.

“Let’s call Jackie and tell her!” Bob suggested eagerly.

“I’ve got an even better idea!” Mikey piped up. We stared at him curiously. “How about we invite her to meet us there?”

There was a great silence. We all let the genius of the plan sink in.

“WHAT A GREAT IDEA!” Bob quickly dialed her number and he basically screamed the idea at her.

“Hold on a second,” She told us. There was a clatter on the other end and then a distant scream. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOOOLY SHIIT!” There was another bump and Jackie was back with us. “That sounds good!” We all laughed and went on planning where and when we would meet her.
-----
Upon driving into the city my stomach started to turn. I’d forgotten one tiny thing. Every guy that meets my sister ends up loving her at one point or another. That’s why Thom is overprotective sometimes. And I’m sure Melissa was thinking the same thing. When we were growing up everyone of our guy friends ended up having a huge crush on her. It got very tiring after a while. And I didn’t want that to happen to Melissa and Mikey.

I wish I could say that about Gerard. That I should be mad if he does end up loving her. But I can’t. We aren’t together after all. So I have to try my hardest not to get mad if that does happen. But I’m praying that it doesn’t.

“Is everything okay?” Ray asked sitting next to me on my bunk.

“I’m just nervous,” I confided in him.

“About what? I thought you were excited about seeing your sister.”

“I know,” I thought carefully about what words I should say. “It’s just…”

“Does it have to do with Gerard?”

Good ole Ray, he can read me better than Melissa can sometimes.

“Your clever, Mr. Toro,” I laughed.

“So what exactly is it?”

“Well, my sister kind of is the problem. Every guy she meets falls in love with her! And I can see why, I mean she’s amazing! She can draw, sing, act, write, she’s beautiful, she’s funny, she’s way better at sports than I am, and, and, and-”

I couldn’t say anything else. Ray was giving me this look that just told me to stop before I got too ahead of myself.

“Listen, Katie,” He placed both hands on my shoulders. “You are one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. And I’m not going to lie to you when I say that Gerard likes you. I’ve known him for… I dunno let’s just say a long time. And I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

“Really?”

“Like I said, I’m not gonna lie,” He smiled at me and lifted up his hands. We slid off my bunk together and traveled forward to see the city skyline as the sun rose up over it. Defiantly something that I’m going to need to do again in my life, when I’m not so distracted.
-----
Excitement finally replaced the nerves as I told Chad exactly where to drive. We turned down the back street so we didn’t bring to much attention upon ourselves and we hopped out of the bus.

“I need batteries!” Frank cried right before we buzzed to go up.

“For what?!” Melissa asked. She was bouncing up and down too excited to contain herself.

He held up an Ipod and smiled.

“Fine!” Melissa sighed. “You guys help him and make sure he doesn’t get off task!” She
pointed at the others and gave them the apartment number and what to say, just so we can surprise Sarah and Thom.

“OKAY!” They bounced off.

I shook my head as I watched them skip down the street.

“Can I buzz it?” Melissa asked.

“Sure!”

She pressed the button and we heard a muffled ‘hello’.

“I bet you’ll never guess who this is!” She yelled at him.

“Hmmm…. Let me think. SANTA!”

“HOLY CRAP YOU’RE GOOD! Now let Santa in!” She demanded pounding her fist down on the brick wall in front of her.

“FINE!” There was a buzz and I opened the door for her. “Thank you!” She skipped up the stairs. I couldn’t have been more excited even if I wanted to be.