Insert Romantic Title Here

Oh. My. God. I bet you think I died.
Well... I didn't. I've just been busy. And I'm so sorry about the really long wait. But finally it's done.
And I'm sorry about naming this chapter after a song. I just couldn't think of anything else to name it, and it kinda fits. Well.. Yeah. So... at long last CHAPTER NINE! XD

~-~-~-~-~-~-
It was abnormally white in the waiting room on the third floor of the hospital. We’d been waiting for news of Melissa ever since we left the concert, which was about a half an hour ago.

Although it broke Mikey’s (and everyone else’s’) hearts they had to stay and finish the show. I guess they decided by force of Chad that they’d already left one show and that was one too many. So it was just Jackie and I in the waiting room.

In the room there was a clock on the wall, the kind that counts the seconds. I guess it was driving Jackie crazy too, the tick-tocking of that seconds hand. Over and over, each second we knew Melissa could… die, I guess.

The thought finally sank in, I was like that. Someone could say something and then ten minutes later I really realize what they had said. Melissa could die, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I started crying. Just tear after tear come rolling down my cheeks. I rubbed them away, smearing my eyeliner.

Great, now I looked like some fuck-tard or something.

“Here.”

I felt something soft graze my arm and I looked over to find Jackie handing me a tissue. She was on the verge of crying herself but found more self control than I did.

Jackie sat next to me and hugged me as I wiped the tears from my eyes. I placed my head on her shoulder and she put her head on mine.

“Thanks,” I muttered.

I felt her genuine smile.

“Anytime.”

We sat in silence for a while, the ticking of the clock inching away at my patience.

There was a beep and sound came spilling into this tiny waiting room.

“Where is she? Is she okay?” Mikey came rushing into the room and fell on the floor. His face stained with dried tears and his eyes blood shot. Looking up at me with his pleading eyes, I could tell he wanted answers.

Jackie realized me from her monstrous hug and told him that we still didn’t know anything about Melissa’s condition or what the hell happened. We were all in the dark.
-----
It was early in the morning the doctors had finally given us news on Melissa’s condition.

“She’s just becoming stable,” He had said. “According to these test results she has all the signs of early epilepsy.”

Epilepsy? Epilepsy… Epilepsy?! Holy fuck.

I just kind of stopped listening at this point. But the doctor kept going. Explaining everything about Melissa, her current condition, what we should do in the future, all that jazz. It’s just the thought of my best friend having epilepsy was just… too much.

Mikey seemed to take it just as I did. If not… maybe even worse. I guess that same thoughts were going through our mind. Melissa could die… at any moment.

“I’ll let you see in her in a couple minutes. We still need to tell her everything.” He checked something on his clipboard, smiled, and left.

Stupid smile. I wanted to whack it right off his stubby little face.

“Excuse me,” Mikey shoved past everyone. I saw him taking his glasses off and rubbing his blood shot eyes, just before he entered the bathroom across the hallway.

Jackie and Bob sat down together, hand in hand, and comforted each other. Frankie leaned against a wall and slowly slid down do the floor with his fingers rubbing his temples.

“I’m gonna go check on Mikey,” Ray said to me with one hand on my shoulder. I smiled and he went across the hall and gently knocked on the bathroom door.

Gerard and me exchanged glances and for a moment I forgot about our bitterness towards each other. But his immediate sour expression reminded me at once and we sat down on complete opposite sides of the room.
-----
Mikey came back within minutes with Ray right by his side. They sat down next to Jackie and Bob, but there wasn’t really any need to. The doctor came in and told us we could see Melissa now.

We all jumped at the news, especially Mikey. He pushed past everyone and went straight in to see her without even acknowledging the doctor.

“Thank you,” I said to the doctor as I finished our group and he went down the hall.

Melissa looked abnormally pale, but healthy all the same. She was sitting upright in her bed with a bright smile planted firmly on her face. Mikey kissed her lightly on the cheek and pulled up a chair so he could sit next to her.

Hand in hand they looked each other in the eyes, completely ignoring everyone else in the room.

“What would we have done?” Mikey asked, almost in tears. “If you had left us? If you left me?”

Mel removed one of her hands from Mikey’s and ran it through his hair, she smiled and gave a little giggle.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Mikey’s eyes glistened with tears as he laughed and kissed her hands.

Their little love circle ended when Frank did one of his ‘hey-we’re-still-here’ coughs. He shrugged when they gave him evil stares.

“What?”

We all laughed and sat down on chairs or Melissa’s bed. We talked for a long time about everything that happened last night, or like what happened at the show. Everyone described how hard it was to keep the show going knowing that something was wrong with Melissa.

“Ahem,” The doctor had returned with his clipboard. “I need to have a talk with all of you.”

He entered and flipped through some pages on his clipboard. Then cleared his throat and continued.

“There’s something that we’d forgot to mention earlier about your, erm, illness.”

Melissa cocked her head to one side.

“Well… There’s a-a-a “thing” called…Uh,” He referred back to his clipboard. This poor guy. He must’ve been a new doctor or something, because he wasn’t very good at giving bad news. “It’s called, SUDEP. Sudden unexplained death during epilepsy.” He twisted his fingers and tapped his pencil against his palm.

The doctor went in to explain how a healthy person with epilepsy, (kind of an oxy moron… I think) can die at any moment, and no one knows why. There have been many cases of it, apparently.

Great, I thought. My best friend could die in a second, and there was no way of stopping it.

He left the room and we all sat in silence staring at Melissa. She locked on each one of us, checking for tears probably. And she found them, too. Mikey was silently crying, and me and Jackie both had a few tears building up.

“Well,” Melissa began. “I’m not dead yet. So please, can we stop the crying?”

I guess she was getting sick of it too.

“Sorry,” Mikey whispered wiping the tears from his cheeks. “I can’t… I can’t help it. I just- I just love you so much.”

Melissa smiled.

“I love you too.”
-----
Melissa was out of the hospital by noon. We had gotten her prescriptions and the doctor gave us his phone number so we could call if we had any questions or concerns. Medical things I guess.

No one seemed to treat Melissa quite the same way. They were always treating her like she was a china doll that she could break at any second. I wish I could say I was treating her like normal but I couldn’t.

One day the whole “special treatment thing just got too much for her.

We were playing cards and Frank hit her hard on the back because she lost. She jerked forward and then moved back. Almost like whiplash… only not.

Frank had this look on his face like he’d just killed someone.

“Holy shit,” He murmured. “I’m so sorry.”

She stared at him. Blinked a couple of times, and stood by the counter. She placed her hands on it and did a little laugh.

“Do I look sick, or something?” She whispered. “Do I look like I’m dead? Do you think I’m dead?”

Her voice got louder.

“I’m not fragile! I’m just the same old me! Hitting me won’t kill me, listening to loud music won’t kill me! It’ll probably just cause me to be deaf! I’m probably in more danger sleeping than being his in the back!”

“Melissa listen-” Ray began.

“No! Let me talk! I’m not that different than I was a week ago! I’m still me! So stop treating my like I’m some china doll or something, it’s gonna take more than this “disease” to break me. So, Jesus, just… just stop it.”

We all stared at her, shocked. I’ve only heard you explode like that once.

Our heads turned together, following her, as she went back into her bunk.

Mikey shot up to go after her, but Jackie immediately grabbed his sleeve and sat him back down. She shook her head.

“Not now,” She whispered.

“GO AHEAD!” Melissa yelled from the bunk. “COME RUNNING AFTER ME! MAKE SURE I’M NOT HAVING A SEISURE!”

I bit my lip and looked around at everyone else. Frank sighed and his head hit the table. Ray and Bob were having a whispering conversation and Mikey, Jackie, and Gerard were just sitting in silence, staring at nothing.

The coffee tasted refreshing and relaxed my shoulders. I leaned my head back, and I wish I could say I was thinking about Melissa, but the truth was, I was thinking about Gerard.

I know, I’m such a bad friend. But I couldn’t help it. My mind was so focused on that magazine article. Those stupid tabloids. I just wish I could… burn them all. Burn the writes, burn the magazines, burn the readers, and just… burn the stores that sell them!

“Ugh,” I muttered without noticing.

Everyone just kind of stared at me. I’m not sure if they thought I was “ughing” at Melissa, or something else.

So I just picked up my coffee and decided to let the mug basically sallow my face.

“Now?” Mikey asked to no one in particular.

“Sure,” Ray answered.

Then Mikey slowly got up from his seat and traveled back to Melissa.

“Melissa? I’m so sorry,” I heard him say before the door.
-----
Apparently Melissa had accepted Mikey’s heart filled apology with tears in her eyes. I’m glad that she took it as an apology from all of us because I’m honestly not sure what I would’ve said if I had to say anything at all.

Even though we were doing our best do treat Melissa normally, there were still little things that we treated her differently about. Video games, movies, stuff like that.

She seemed like she just accepted it though.

One day we were all watching a movie, and for three seconds there were lots of flashing lights. Ray got scared and covered her eyes for her. But she just calmly took his hand away and set it back on his lap. Her eyes seemed unfazed, and dull.

“Sorry,” Ray muttered.

Melissa shrugged it off then went back to watching the movie.

Mikey and me exchanged worried glances. Although she had accepted the apology she still didn’t seem like… she believed it. Either that or she’d just gotten used to it.

It was hard telling what was going through her mind lately, she hardly talked anymore. The loud, obnoxious, funny, Melissa we love seemed to have taken a vacation. And by what we all talked about when she wasn’t around, I could tell that we all wanted her to come back.

We have to do something about this, I decided to myself.

After the movie Melissa went straight to bed.

“Good night, guys,” She said, and then she pecked Mikey on the cheek and was off.

This was the perfect time to talk about it.

We talked quietly for a while about things not pertaining to Melissa. Things like up coming shows, maybe meeting up with Sarah and Thom again, or maybe calling up Shelby on Saturday.

When it was confirmed that Melissa was sleeping I brought up what I’ve been dieing to bring up for a while.

“Have you guys noticed anything… off… about Melissa?” I asked.

“That’s kind of a stupid question,” Gerard muttered just loud enough for me to hear. I shot him a death glare.

“You know what I mean.”

He lifted his hands as if he was innocent and then motioned for me to continue.

“Like how she’s been quiet all the time.”

Everyone quietly agreed. I bit my lips and folded my hands together.

“Do you think we should do anything?” I continued, desperate not to let this subject dry up.

Ray seemed to be looking for the right thing to say. He was always the one with the plan. But here he just seemed, lost.

Surprisingly, it was Frank who spoke up first.

“Maybe… We should just forget? But not all the way, just… a little bit.”

“What do you mean?” Jackie asked.

I sighed with relief. I didn’t get what Frank was saying either, so I was glad that she asked first.

“We should just let it go. Forget that she’s… sick.”

“That’s gonna be kind of hard don’t you think?” Mikey piped up.

“What do you suggest?”

Everyone shrugged. It was the only plan we had so why not just go for it?

“I’m still worried,” I said into my hands. “She’s still… quiet. Just… not herself.”

“Time,” Ray finally found what he was trying to say. “Let’s give her time. And if we do what Frank says, and just try and forget, maybe she’ll snap back. Hopefully, she’ll snap back.”

“Okay, let’s try it.”

“Let’s make a pact,” Bob concluded.

“A pact? Isn’t that kind of childish?” Gerard remarked.

“To all stick together with this. We try and forget about this whole thing and just let Mel be Mel,” He continued, ignoring Gerard.

We stuck our hands in the middle of the table and did a silent little “pact” thing.

“Now I’m going to bed,” Jackie yawned.

“I’ll come with you,” Bob smiled.

“Why don’t you all go to bed?” Chad yelled from the front of the bus.

If Chad could hear us from the front of the bus, could Melissa hear us? No, no, of course not. Melissa was sound asleep in bed. There was no way she could’ve overheard us.
-----
“Katie!”

I felt someone nudge my shoulder.

“KATIE!” It came again, only louder, and the nudge was more like a push.

My eyes opened and saw Gerard standing over me with my phone in his hand. It was vibrating and my stupid old ringtone was repeating.

“It’s been ringing nonstop. Do us a favor and answer the damn thing.”

I rubbed my eyes and snatched the phone from him. When he turned his back to me and bit my thumb at him. (It was something that we did in Theater at my old high school when we didn’t want to get in trouble for flicking someone off.)

“Hello?” I grumbled as I snapped my phone open.

“What a nice way to greet your sister.”

I jumped up in my bed.

“Sarah! Hi! Why are you calling so late?”

“Well it’s not late here in New York.”

“Oh, right.”

Ha, now I feel like an ass.

“Why were you so… snappy when you answered?”

I rubbed my forehead and glanced over at Gerard’s bed. He seemed to be sleeping. Maybe I should tell Sarah. Then again… Maybe not.

“It’s a long story,” I grumbled, not being able to think of anything else to avoid the subject.

“Does it have anything to do with that magazine?” She inquired.

Damn Sarah. She always knows everything.

“A little…”

“What the hell happened with that?”

Just in case Gerard was still awake I moved to the front where I could speak without worrying about it. So I went on to tell Sarah everything that was happening. I explained me and Gerard’s argument. And I informed her about Melissa and her… erm, illness.

“Wow,” She stretched it out really long, probably from lack of any other things to say. Trying to avoid a long silence. I know my sister. She would do that.

“Yeah,” I mocked her with stretching out my word too.

“I knew that that was just a fluke article,” Sarah mainly said to herself. “He’s such a dick.”

“What?”

“Gerard. He’s a dick. I can’t believe he would do that!”

“I have no idea what the hell got into him…”

There was a pause.

“So what did you call about?” I said changing the subject.

“Oh! How could I forget? I have… Well… Thom and I… We have some big, big, big, news.”

I sat on the edge of my seat.

“Yes?”

“Well, I’m just gonna. I’m just gonna say it! I’m pregnant!”

“YOU HAD SEX?”

I sprung up from my seat and started pacing around the room. My sister? Pregnant?!

“Kaitlin! I’m twenty-six, I’ve had sex more times than… never mind.”

“But, but, you’re pregnant! That’s great! I’m gonna be an aunt! Holy shit! Does Mom know?”

“I just got off the phone with her! She’s kind of nervous about the whole “I’m getting old cause I’m gonna be a grandma” but I think she’s really… excited.”

“What did Thom say?”

“He’s his usual self, he’s passed out on the couch. He fainted when I told him.”

“Wow, I’m gonna tell Melissa! I’ll talk to you tomorrow, all right?”

“Yeah, sure! Bye, Kate!”

“Bye!”

I snapped the phone shut and sat back down.

“Congratulations,” A tired Chad said from the front of the bus. “Did she just find out?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I think you should wait till the morning to tell everyone. Wake them up now and they might not be able to go to sleep.”

I nodded.

“Good idea. ‘Nite Chad.”

“Good night Katie.”
-----
Everyone awoke the next morning; well it was more like the afternoon, with still droopy eyes. It was closer to the show than we thought so I decided to wait until after to tell everyone about Sarah’s pregnancy.

I was getting ready for the show when I heard Ray talking to Gerard. It was kind of muffled so I put my ear to the bathroom door to hear what they were saying. I heard my name so I guess they must’ve thought I’d headed for the arena already.

“I still don’t see why you’re being such a dick about this whole thing,” Ray said.

“I still don’t see why you can’t let it go!”

I shook my head from behind the door. Gerard’s such a stubborn ass.

“You’re being such a stubborn ass,” Ray muttered.

Wow, way to go Ray.

There was a silence. I can only imagine what was going on. I hope Gerard didn’t leave; I really wanted to hear what was going on in his mind. If he told anyone I knew it would be Ray.

“I just- it’s just…” Gerard tried to get it out.

“Just say it,” Ray remarked. I could see Gerard’s confused face. “We all know it. Even Katie, if she wants to or not. You love her.”

Another silence. I was praying for him to just say yes. But the more the silence grew the more I just wanted to cry.

“I don’t really know. There’s a part of me that does… lover her I mean. But sometimes she can be so, ugh! Do you know what I mean?”

“No…”

“Well I do. And right now I’m way too… I dunno. I just. Let’s leave that forever-going question of love with a ‘no’. No I don’t.”

I bit my lip and slid against the door to the floor. Footsteps indicated that someone left the room. Whoever it was I have no idea, so it probably wasn’t safe to leave the bathroom yet.

“What an idiot,” I heard Ray mutter.

Good, so Gerard left. I could come out now.

I unlatched the lock on the bathroom door and exited the bathroom. Ray was sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Katie!” He shoot up from his bed and hit his head on the one above it. “Ow… Are you okay?” He noted my red eyes.

I took a deep breath in and shook my head. “Honestly, not really.”

How the hell could I be?

“You… heard.”

Of course I did. Really Ray, you’re supposed to be the smart one?

“Katie, I’m so sorry.”

I placed one hand on his shoulder.

“Let’s just get to the show. Okay?”

He nodded and exited the bus, and I followed. Outside the bus everyone was waiting. When Gerard saw Ray and I exit together, his face immediately dropped. His mouth was agate and his eyes were filled with shock.

I looked down at my shoes and went ahead of everyone else. I just hope that no one noticed the little drops on the ground that marked my path.
-----
During the show both Melissa and Jackie were asking me questions about what happened. I just told them I’d tell them later tonight. But they couldn’t wait. So I told them everything Gerard said. That he didn’t love me.

“Lies,” Jackie said at the end. “All fucking lies. He loves you, I know it.”

“Thanks, but I’m afraid it doesn’t mean anything coming from you.”

She shrugged. At least she tried.

Melissa just crossed her arms and looked at the floor. This was just getting too old for her. The whole “Gerard and Me” thing. I understand though. I with it would all end too. But he’s such a stubborn ass, and can’t let anything go, and… yeah. He’s just, not for me I guess.

It was kind of hard to concentrate on the show, honestly. With Gerard’s voice echoing through the arena and my thoughts as well.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” I told Melissa. She nodded and went back to “dancing.” Well… Jumping up and down is more like it.

The bathroom was completely empty, not surprising. It was the middle of the show, and I have no idea who in their right mind would want to go to the bathroom in the middle of the show.

I got in the closest stall and leaned against the door with my face in my hands. I could still hear Gerard’s booming voice all the way over here.

“JUST SHUT UP!” I pounded on the door. And fell to the floor. My head fell out from underneath the bottom of the door so I was looking up as the bathroom ceiling.

“Shit, shit, shit…” I muttered as some snooty teenage girls came walking in the bathroom.

They looked down at my head, made silly faces at each other, then walked out of the bathroom laughing.

“Fags,” I muttered again before getting out of this awkward position.

When I got back into the arena “I’m Not Okay” was being played and I smiled to myself.
-----
After the show Chad made the announcement that I had an announcement.

“Oh, yeah, I… forgot. Okay, well…” I began, when we were all gathered backstage.

“So. Sarah’s pregnant.”

And I sat back down.

Everyone just kind of stared at me.

“What? She is.”

“Really?” Melissa asked, with the biggest smile ever on her face.

I nodded. “Yup.”

“Wait!” Melissa said again before I could go off to bed. “They had sex?”

I laughed. Everyone laughed.

“Good night Melissa,” I said before disappearing.

“What?” I heard her ask, but everyone just laughed even more.