Little Red Cinderella and the Three Beanstalks

Previously...

Ezu marched past me in the direction of the Inn with as much dignity as he could muster-- which wasn't much-- but I wasn't about to let him go yet.

"Oh no you don't," I said, grabbing his arm as he passed me. "We still have important things to discuss." I said when Ezu shot me a looked over his shoulder with one eyebrow raised. "You too." I directed at Jack, who still lurked behind us as if he was hoping he could slink away before I turned my gaze on him as well.

"Things to discuss? Like what?" Ezu asked incredulously.

"Some very important facts I've been meaning to clear up for some time." I answered firmly.
One of them being where my own clothes were, come to think of it...
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We were back at the Inn.

We were in the room Ezu had stayed in, to be precise, and the tension in the air was practically palpable. I was sitting cross legged on Ezu's bed, surveying the proceedings before me stonily. Ezu-- fully clothed now, finally--was moodily stuffing various items into a good sized leather rucksack. Evidently this was the room he stayed in every time he visited the Inn, if you judged by the level of accumulated filth and random objects that littered the floor and the desk in the corner.

Jack was leaning against the wall beside the door, trying to look coolly indifferent, but coming off as peeved.

Seeing as the angst in the room was so thick it was getting hard to breathe, I figured now would be a good of time as ever to break the silence and get a few questions that had been bugging me for some time cleared up.

To get Ezu's attention, I threw an empty ink pot at his head.

I missed, of course (I never truly meant it to hit him in the first place), and it collided with the wall about six inches to the left of Ezu's right ear. In response, Ezu barked a particularly foul curse word and threw himself to the right, covering his head with his arms.

"What in the... are you trying to kill me?!" He gasped, his mismatched eyes wide with disbelief.

"That wouldn't have killed you. Look, it didn't even scratch the paint off the wall." I pointed out. "Besides, you shouldn't have left it somewhere so easily accessible. Who puts ink pots in their beds? Seriously? What were you doing?"

"It's none of your business what I was doing! And don't throw my things!" Ezu scowled, bending down to pick up the ink pot.

"Like you take any better care of your stuff." I scoffed. "But that's not the point. I have some questions for you, mister, and I demand answers."

"I don't recall ever with-holding answers, so you don't have to demand them." Ezu pointed out.

"Then you won't have any problem answering my question when I state them."

"No, I won't!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Oh God, are you two always like this?!" Jack groaned, staring at Ezu and me incredulously. "I'm getting whiplash just trying to keep up with you guys!"

Both Ezu and I simultaneously shot Jack particularly foul glares.

"Sorry, sorry!" Jack said quickly, holding his hands up in defense.

"Anyways," I said forcefully, returning my attention back to Ezu. "My questions."

"Fire away." Ezu said, turning away from my and continuing to rummage through the piles of filth in his room, looking for God knows what.

"Alright. First question. Remember when we first arrived at the town? Well, you wouldn't, you were unconscious. But that's the point. You were sick, Ezu. Really sick-- and you had a broken ankle. And now you're perfectly fine. How did you get better so fast?" I asked. Ezu sighed and stopped collecting arm loads of dirty clothes.

He turned to me and said, "My ankle wasn't broken, it was only sprained. In fact, it's still quite sore. And as for the illness, some of the home remedies in this town are nothing short of miraculous."

"Even so, you can't have gotten better in one day!" I argued. Ezu looked at me incredulously, one eyebrow raised.

"I never said it only took one day." He replied. I stared at him.

"How long was I out for?" I asked slowly. This time Jack answered.

"Three and a half days."
I immediately began to choke on absolutely nothing. "Wha- what?" I gagged. "Three and a half days?!" Damn, this was bad, this was way bad...

"Um... yeah," Jack said, coming over to me and smacking me firmly on the back a few times. "The combination of your physical exhaustion and mental stress really took a toll on you. Are you okay?" He asked in regards to my coughing fit.

"I'm (hack hack) fine!" I gasped, shoving him away. "Three days??" I repeated, beginning to get my breath back.

"And a half." Jack added, not so helpfully.

"Oh lord, this is bad Ezu, this is really majorly bad!" I moaned.

"It this because of that princess?" Ezu asked.

"Princess?" Jack repeated.

"Oh, she could be dead already!" I wailed.

"Dead?!" Ezu said, alarmed. "What do you mean dead?"

"Dead? A princess? What are you talking about?" Jack asked, looking from me to Ezu.

"Oh God, I've killed her! It's all my fault! Damn that Rumpelstiltskin, and damn you, Ezu!" I snapped suddenly.

"What? Why are you blaming me?" Ezu demanded, angrily.

"If you hadn't gone and sprained your ankle, or gotten pneumonia or whatever it was, we could have saved her!" I accused.

"Well excuse me! I'm so sorry if my catching a deadly illness and spraining my ankle while trying to save your ungrateful ass from being eaten by GIANTS interfered with your plans! And besides, how do you even know she's dead?" Ezu shot back in mock sincerity.

"Oh golly, my bad, I should have put your hurt foot above the life of an innocent girl! How selfish of me!" I retorted, glaring fiercely back at Ezu.

"Hey hey hey, would the both of you just back off each other, Okay?" Jack intervened suddenly. "I have no idea what's going on, but so far it sounds like a girl's life is in danger, and your fighting isn't going solve any thing. Now Rikki, do you honestly think that Ezu got himself practically mortally injured on purpose?" He asked, turning to me.

"Well... I... I guess not..." I stammered.

"And Ezu, do you really blame Rikki for feeling a bit guilty about... whatever is going on? Killing this princess or whatever?" Jack asked Ezu.

"I... well, no, but-"

"There now! Everybody understand each other? Good! Now you guys can explain to me what is going on later, because it seems like time is of the essence here, so instead of fighting, why don't you guys shut up and get ready to do whatever it is we're doing? Rescuing a princess or whatever." Jack finished firmly.

Ezu and I said nothing for a few moments, both of us staring at Jack with wide eyes.

"Um... yeah." Ezu said slowly.

"That's a um... ahem, a good idea." I added, not entirely sure what had just happened. Had Jack just single handedly defused the growing time bomb that was mine and Ezu's argument? Like he was one to talk, he and Ezu had just been trying to kill each other less than twenty minutes ago! Yet some how, he’d gotten both me and Ezu to shut up, and back on track. Maybe this adventure wasn't going to be so bad after all...

"Rikki. Rikki!" I jumped out of my mini stupor.

"What?" I asked, blinking.

"You need to get dressed." Jack said, tossing a bundle of cloth at me.

"Oh, yeah." I muttered, glancing down at my current attire. I was still wearing the white nightdress and thick wool socks that i had been when I woke up that morning. Only now the gown was really more dirt colored than white, but oh well.

I pulled at the clothes Jack had tossed me, vaguely wondering when he had got these.
"Hey... these aren't my clothes!" I said, realized I didn't recognize the old fashioned shirt and vest combo and the long skirt I had been given.

"Oh, you mean the strange, muddy, torn, bloody rags you were wearing when you arrived?" Jack asked innocently.

"Hey! My clothes weren't strange!" I defended myself weakly.

"Yes. Yes they were. What on earth are converse? And anyways, they're ruined beyond repair." I glared at Jack.

"Fine." I spat. "But I can't wear these!" I said, holding up the clothes.

"Why not?" Both Jack and Ezu asked at the same time.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because we're going on a rescue mission through the forest filled with ogres and giants and witches to find and save a would be princess who may or may not already be dead, killed at the hands of some two-bit king?" I growled at them. "And somehow, I don't think a skirt is the best choice of attire for that sort of thing. It goes down to my ankles! Oh god, I can see myself now, tripping over the hem and falling off a cliff or something!"

"Oh." Jack and Ezu said together.

"Here." Ezu said, tossing a brown bundle of fabric at me. I unwrapped the wadded ball of cloth and saw that he had given me a pair of patched brown pants.

"Are these your pants?" I asked incredulously.

"Yep. Better than a skirt." Ezu said with a shrug. I bit back a retort. I wasn't in much of a position to complain, I supposed. I glanced back up at the boys, who were both watching me impassively.

"Well?" I asked expectantly.

"Well what? Jack said.

"Are you two just going to stand there and watch while I get dressed, or do you have a touch of decency hiding somewhere that I have yet failed to see?" I asked.

"Oh!" Both Jack and Ezu said together yet again. The both spun on their heels and faced the wall, giving me the ugly-step-sister version of privacy.

"I meant leave the room, but whatever." I muttered under my breath as I started to pull on the clothes.

The white shirt and laced up brown vest fit well enough. The pants, however, were about twenty sizes too big, and even my huge hips couldn't keep them from falling down around my ankles.

"OK, my upper body is decent, but your pants seem to have other plans, Ezu." I said, keeping them from falling around my ankles with one hand. Ezu and Jack turned, saw the yards of bunched up fabric in my hand, and burst out laughing.

"Shut up!" I snapped, throwing my nightdress at them.

"Ahem. Here, let me help you with that." Ezu said, attempting to sober up. Jack still snorted with giggles. Ezu shuffled over, his face doggedly impassive. He dropped to his knees so his head was eye level with my... lower body and with one hand began rummaging in his own pockets until he pulled out a giant needle and a spare length of thin, black leather.

"...Why are you carrying that around with you?" I asked as Ezu as he threaded the leather strip through the eye of the needle. Ezu shot me a glare.

"You have to be prepared for anything, stupid. I also have spare buttons, a quill, parchment, and ink, string, currency from seven different kingdoms, a magic rock, fool's gold, the left foot of a leprechaun, unicorn kibble, three magic daggers, two normal daggers, and a butter knife in various places on my person at this moment. Now shut up and let me fix these pants." He retorted. I was cowed into silence. After he threaded the needle, he pierced the waist of the pants, then again some inches further along, weaving the needle in and out of the fabric. Not even two minutes later Ezu had threaded the leather cord all the way around the pants, so now the two ends hung limply at the front. Ezu put the needle back in his pocket and grabbed the ends of the leather, and gave a sudden yank. Just like on the hood of a sweater, the pants bunched up around my waist, tightening until they fit snuggly and were in no danger of falling off.

Ezu deftly tied some fancy knot to top it off, and then stood up to admire his handy work.

"Wow," I said, admiring it as well. "You're good with a needle. Are you sure you aren't my grandmother?" Ezu's face crumpled into a glower as Jack, who had just managed to get his giggles under control, erupted into another bout of laughter.

"I refuse to dignify that comment with a response." Ezu snarled. I opened my mouth to tell him exactly what I thought of his responses anyways, but was interrupted by a sound alarmingly similar to that of a raging bear about to protect her endangered cubs.

"...I'm hungry." I said, my face a blank wall.

"Was that your stomach?" Ezu asked as Jack gaped at me.

"I haven't eaten in three and a half days! What do you expect?" I retorted, feeling the flush I was so desperately fighting win the battle as it exploded across my cheeks.

"I didn't know girl's bodies could make sounds like that." Jack said, looking at me with a mixture of appreciation and mild disgust.

"Shut up!" I whined.

"Rikki has quite a habit of surprising you. She's not quite the lady she pretends to be." Ezu said knowingly, and eyebrow raised delicately.

"It was only a little growl!" I moaned in my defense.

"Oh, I've noticed. You know that red cape she tore up for your arm? Apparently it was Little Red's. According to Red, Rikki stole it from her." Jack said accusingly.

"Really? I thought it looked familiar!" Ezu replied, shaking his head sadly, as if disappointed.

"I did NOT steal it! There were WOLVES chasing me! I ran into her! She freaked, dropped her cloak, tried to shank me, and ran off! What could I do? I was going to get eaten!!" I half shouted in exasperation.

"Tsk tsk, Rikki. If I had any idea you were such a delinquent..." Ezu began.

"I hate you both!" I snarled, and I spun on my heel and marched out of the room. I'd find my way to the kitchen alone! And then I'd ditch Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Idiot and rescue the Miller's daughter on my own too!

I tried to ignore the fact that I had already threatened to do this several times in the last hour alone without it coming to effect.