Little Red Cinderella and the Three Beanstalks

Previously...

"But, on my way back to find him, I ran into this old man. Literally. I dropped my bag, he dropped his. The same damned bag. What were the odds? Anyways, we switched bags. I get home, look inside, and see a couple of rocks. What the hell was he doing with a bag of rocks, I'll never know. But the point is, I lost the beans. And now Gurtok is after me because he thinks I gypped him." Ezu finished in huff. "The end."

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"Good Lord. Remind me never to complain about my life again." I finally managed to say after several unsuccessful minutes of trying to speak. I know I shouldn't be surprised anymore when stuff like this happens, but come on! How insane was all of this going to get? I don't think I can take anymore!

"With luck we'll be able to get to the princess's or maid or whoever's castle, save the day, get back, and put all of this behind us without too much trouble on the way." Ezu grunted as he hacked a particularly stubborn tree branch out of the way with his trusty ax.

"Psh. Yeah right." I scoffed. "Is it ever that easy?" I muttered to myself, thinking about the Book in my bag. No, if this were a true fairy tale, things were going to have to get a lot worse before they got better. At least I had the cheat codes with me.

"So do you even know where this castle is, Rikki?" Ezu asked.

"And I still don't know what's going on." Jack added thoughtfully.

"No Ezu, I have no idea. I was hoping you did. And to make a long story short Jack, I may have accidentally murdered a crazy baby kidnapper, who, ironically enough, was the key to the survival of an imprisoned miller's daughter, who needs to spin a room full of straw into gold or it'll be off with her head." I snapped to the both of them. Jack was silent for a few moments.

"And that's the short version?" He said finally.

"Yes." I snapped.

"...I don't think I want to know the long version." He decided, frowning.

"Wait, wait, wait. Just hold up one second." Ezu said suddenly, stopping and turning to face me with an incredulous expression. "You seriously expect me to be able to magically find some random kingdom out here, break into whichever king owns it Palace, and save the life of some girl, who we don't even know what she looks like?" He demanded. I bit my lip.

"Um... not exactly..." I said slowly, avoiding making eye contact with Ezu. He glared at me.

"What do you mean, 'not exactly'?" He snarled.

"Well, the first half was right, but um... we actually have to somehow make sure she marries the king too... She has to, um... like I said, turn a room full of straw into gold..." I stammered.

"What?" Ezu hissed.

"Three times." I added, so quietly I hoped Ezu couldn't hear. Unfortunately, he did. He pointed his ax at me menacingly.

"I'm going to kill you, Rikki. I swear to God, if we get out of this alive, I am going to kill you." He threatened through clenched teeth. I nervously tugged on a clump of my hair.

"I didn't mean to kill Rumple-whatever! He just kind of..."

"Exploded?" Ezu finished for me accusingly.

"Yes! He did, and it wasn't my fault!" I defended myself indignantly.

"Well, I hate to break it to you sweet heart, but, assuming we even manage to find three rooms full of gold straw, which we WONT, but assuming we do, it won't do us any good what so ever if we can't find her! I sure don't know where her kingdom is! Can't you consult that damned magic book of yours or something?" Ezu snapped at me.

"Magic book?" Jack asked confusedly.

"We can't just give up and let her die! I mean come on, there can't be that many kingdoms around here!" I was whining now, but I didn't care. Ezu only snorted at me, and shot me a look.

"You have no idea how many kingdoms there are around here. It would take us MONTHS to search them all! Face it, Rikki, we're in deep shit right now."

"But we have to try! That girl is going to die if we don't!" I cried. My eyes were hot and stinging, and I blinked furiously to hold back the tears. If that girl died, it would be completely my fault. I'd have killed two people, and I'd only been here for a week!

"Oh God, come on Rikki, don't cry!" Ezu begged, realizing the danger signs. I sniffled, and rubbed an eye furiously with the back of my hand, desperately trying to hold it in. "Oh no, no no no no no! I can't stand it when people cry! Please stop! OK, we'll try! Just... don't be sad!" Ezu pleaded, looking extremely uncomfortable. He took an uncertain step forward, hand outstretched, as if to try to comfort me; but Jack got there first.

Jack wrapped a steady arm around my shoulders and patted my hair consolingly.

"Dammit, Ezu, can't you see this whole mess is really eating at her? And no wonder! If this girl's life really is in danger, imagine the position that puts Rikki in! Do you always have to be such an asshole?" Jack snapped at Ezu. Ezu shot Jack a threatening look, but said nothing.

"Look, Rikki, it's going to be all right. We'll find her, we really will! I have contacts, I'm sure someone will know where this kingdom is! Everything will be alright!" Ezu said to me, sounding strained. He ran a hand through his hair distractedly, and took another half step forward, placing a hesitant hand on my arm.

The first real sob escaped me, and I didn't bother trying to disguise it.

"D-d-don't patronize me j-just because I'm a girl!" I choked out quietly, but without any real conviction in my tone. Instead, I slid to the ground and covered my face with my arms, and let the flood tides loose. The past weeks "adventures" hit me like a bag of bricks, and suddenly I wasn't crying just for the miller's daughter anymore. All my pent up aggression, fear, anxiety, and depression came out in a tsunami wave of tears.

"Oh Rikki..." Ezu moaned. Both he and Jack crouched on the ground on either side of my hunched form. Jack wrapped one arm around my shoulders again and stroked my hair' while Ezu gently, as if he feared I would break, placed one of his arms around my waist and rubbed my back. And I just sat there and cried. I felt stupid, I felt weak, I felt guilty for putting the boys in this kind of position. And here they were, trying to make me feel better, when I was the one ruining their lives.

But I couldn't stop. The tears ran down my face faster than i could wipe them away, so I left them there, letting them fall and stain my new skirt. Ezu and Jack were talking softly to me, but I wasn't listening. All I could hear were my own pathetic sobs and the accusations running around my head.

You killed her... It's your fault... what else have you destroyed? Who's lives have you also ruined?

And like that, my crumpled body shaking with sobs, flanked by worried, desperate Jack and Ezu, we sat until the sun went down, and night stole softly over the forest.

I wasn't sure how long we were like that, but it felt like hours. Eventually my sobs died down into sniffling whimpers, and then into silence. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, clearing my blurry vision. A few solitary tear drops hung on my eyelashes, and I blinked them off. A white handkerchief was suddenly dangled in front of my face. I murmured "Thank you," and took it, not even caring who had offered it. I wiped both the dried and fresh tears off my cheeks, but kept the cloth pressed to my face for a second. I took a deep breath, to make sure I wasn't about to dissolve in another bout of tears. With a carefully controlled expression, I held out the handkerchief, allowing its owner-- Ezu, as it turned out --to take it back wordlessly.

"Are you alright?" Jack said softly.

"Yeah." I said, but my throat was dry and the word came out too quietly for it to be audible. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Yeah," I said louder, this time, with more conviction. And to my surprise, I think I really was. I felt considerably better, as if a weight had been taken off my chest. All the things that had been worrying me were still there, but they didn't feel so urgent, so pressing now. Maybe all I had needed was a good crying session, just to work off all those repressed feelings. It wouldn't be the first time that had happened to me.

"Um... look, Rikki, I'm really sorry." Ezu mumbled under his breath. "I didn't mean to make you... um, cry and... stuff." He was looking everywhere but at me, and was obviously still incredibly uncomfortable. I laughed hoarsely.

"You're not a people person, are you Ezu?" I said, gently punching him in the arm.

"No," He said frankly.

"I'm fine. I really am. But even if I wasn't, it's not me you should be worrying about." I said as I rose to my feet, shaking Jack and Ezu off. "Right now, an innocent girl's life is in danger at the hands of a crazy king and a room full of straw. If we don't get going soon, we'll be too late. You said you had contacts, Ezu?" I began, trying to sound as authoritative as I should be, instead of as weak and embarrassed as I felt."Yeah, I know a few people who might have some idea of where to start. It won't take long to get to them. In fact, the closest is only a couple hours away from here." Ezu said, rising as well, and looking considerably less awkward now that the emotional breakdown was over.

"What happens if no one knows where this place is?" Jack added, standing beside me.

"Then we wing it, and hope for the best. Rikki is right, we can't just stand back and let this girl die." Ezu said firmly. He stopped and grabbed his machete, which had been dropped earlier. "It's getting late, but if we hurry, we can make it to my friend's house before we run into anything... unpleasant." Ezu said with a grimace. "If need be, we'll stay the night as his house before setting out tomorrow morning." He hacked a tree branch out of the way and glanced at Jack and me expectantly. "Coming?" He said in mock politeness.

"Unpleasant? Unpleasant like what?" Jack asked him suspiciously.

"Just... stuff." Ezu said with a shrug.

"Stuff like what?" I asked hesitantly, peering into the thick, dark growth of the forest beyond us. "And you don't need to worry about scaring me and making me cry again," I added, shooting a look at Ezu. He jolted guiltily. Evidently that was exactly what he was worried about. "Trust me, it'll be better if i know what to expect to be eaten by." I warned.

"Just... wolves is all." Ezu muttered, hacking away another branch viciously. "And maybe ogres. Or trolls. Witches possibly. Oh, and really big bugs."

"...Bugs?" Jack repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Spiders. Really big spiders. Really big, hungry spiders." Ezu amended. I groaned.

"Of course. Giant spiders. What's a magical, evil forest without giant spiders?" I said sarcastically, running a hand through my hair.

"As long as we don't stop to rest for too long, keeping on the move, and keep our eyes and ears open, we'll probably be able to get through without any trouble," Ezu said hurriedly. I sighed.

"Alright then. Lead the way." Ezu nodded, cast one last uncertain look at me, and disappeared into the thicket, Jack and I close on his heels.

We stumbled in the darkness for God knows how long, unpleasantly aware of every snap of as twig or rustle of a leaf.

Okay, so Jack and I stumbled. Ezu seemed perfectly at home in the near blackness of the forest surroundings, and traversed over half-buried roots and around thickets of bramble with almost inhuman ease, while Jack and I hissed in pain every time we collided with a particularly low hanging tree branch. I was beginning to wonder if we would ever get out of this stupid forest, and how many bulldozers it would take to turn it into toilet paper, when suddenly, out of nowhere, something reached up out of the dirt and grabbed my ankle.

"Oh my Go--" I half shrieked. I twisted in the grip of the thing and nearly fell. Jack leaped forward and grabbed my arm, but I was already going down; and now I was bringing Jack with me. We crashed to the forest floor with a dull thud!

"Rikki! Are you alright?" Came Ezu's voice. I was too busy desperately wriggling my way free from underneath Jack to hear the alarm in his voice.

"Oh shit, something is grabbing me! My foot, my ankle! Get off!" I squeaked in a panic. Thoughts of Giant, blood thirsty spiders were running circles in my head, and I struggled all the more violently. Jack rolled off me and grabbed my shoulders, holding me down.

"Good God Rikki, hold still!" He grunted. Ezu's dark form loomed in the darkness suddenly, and then he was crouching at my feet. He rummaged wordlessly in his bag until he pulled out an old fashioned, iron lantern. By means of something I couldn't see, he lit it, and brought it close to my feet. I glanced at his face. It may just have been the flickering, pale light of the lantern, but he looked ashen and gaunt, and decidedly worried. I swallowed hard. If Ezu was worried about what was grabbing me, then...

"Wha... Ha!" He suddenly let out a sharp bark of laughter. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Shit Rikki, you scared the living daylights out of me! It's only a vine!" He cackled. Jack too let out a giggle of relief.

"A vine. Of course. Trust Rikki to get herself nearly killed by a plant." He chortled, though he still sounded a little strained. Still laughing nervously, Ezu hacked at the poor little vine with his machete thing, and unwrapped it from around my ankle.

"Oh... just a vine." I wheezed breathlessly. "I thought I was going to die." I admitted, too relieved to be embarrassed. Ezu shot me a crooked grin and scratched the back of his neck.

"So did I." He confessed.

"I-- wait, what?" I said, widening my eyes in alarm.

"Wait, so you had that lantern all along?" Jack interrupted me, looking accusingly from Ezu to the lantern. "That would have saved us a lot of trouble if we had, oh I don't know, used it."

"Oh, sure, we can march around the bowels of the forest in the middle of the night with a bright, shining beacon to lead every wolf, witch, and monster straight to us. Wonderful idea." Ezu shot back sarcastically, his normal tone of caustic superiority beginning to creep back into his voice now that the crisis was over.

"Wait a minute though, you seriously thought I was going to die?" I pressed, looking from Jack to Ezu worriedly.

"Well then how are we supposed to get through the rest of this blasted place without Rikki actually killing herself next time?" Jack argued heatedly.

"What do you expect me to do about it? It's not like I even wanted to go through with this in the first place!" Ezu snapped.

"What was it exactly that you were so worried was killing me?" I squeaked, tucking my legs underneath me and looking over the forest floor nervously.

Fifteen minutes later, I was bouncing along uncomfortably on Ezu's back, wincing every time he brought up the machete to cut away a stray branch, fervently hoping he wouldn't cut off my head on accident. It was only with a minor heated argument between Jack and Ezu as to who was going to carry me-- which Ezu won -- that I found myself wrapped as tightly around Ezu's back piggyback style, as a baby opossum to it's mother. It had been decide that I was too accident prone to be allowed to walk on my own, and simply waiting were we sat until morning came was too dangerous, so a compromise was made. A compromise that no one seemed entirely happy about.

"You're too heavy, girl!" Ezu complained, pausing in his progress yet again to adjust my placement. "And you're choking me."

"Don't call me 'girl'." I demanded, trying to jab him in the side with my boot. But I slackened my grip anyways and tried not to complain myself, no matter how uncomfortable Ezu's back got. At least I wasn't cracking my head on tree branches anymore. Speaking of which...

"Ouch!" Came a cry from Jack. "Please tell me we're almost there!" He begged, rubbing his forehead. "We haven't run into anything nasty yet-- you know, except for killer vines-- but we're bound to run out of luck sooner or later."

I shot Jack a dirty look, but said nothing. He had a point, after all.

"We're close. Shut up and stop whining." Ezu growled, as polite and sensitive as he always is.

"You know, he's right." I spoke up. "I wasn't even here for more than twenty minutes before those wolves found me, and it was broad daylight then." Ezu made a noise in he back of his throat, but remained silent.

"Wolves? Seriously Rikki, it isn't normal for you to get into that much trouble in such a short amount of time." Jack interjected disapprovingly.

"You're telling me." I muttered under my breath. But honestly, what did I expect? I was in my own story now, and when do things ever go smoothly in books? Murphy's law says, if there is any possible way for things to get worse then they already are, it will happen.

Fortunately, it looked like Murphy was taking a lunch break right then, for instead of an ominous growling coming from the depth of the darkness, or a clap of thunder rolling overhead, Ezu suddenly stopped in his tracks and dropped me roughly. Jack grabbed my arm, keeping me on my oh so clumsy feet.

"Finally!" Ezu breathed. "We're here. His house is right through these trees, in that clearing."

"Oh thank God!" I moaned, stretching out my back and cramped legs. "I was begging to worry we were going in circles." Ezu snorted derisively.

"I don't wander in circles, girl."

I frowned. "There you go again with the 'girl'. Stop that." I said, pushing past both him and Jack, and stepping into the clearing beyond.