Little Red Cinderella and the Three Beanstalks

Totally super mega awesome banner by my FFM (Favorite Fan of the Moment [Usually a banner induced moment, FYI]), Vanilla Bean.

CHAPTER 28

Previously...

Interestingly enough, somehow Ezu and I ended up on the same horse when we mounted again. Though neither of us spoke, or even looked at each other for the entire remainder of the ride to the Kingdom, there was something... different about our presence. As if a weight had been lifted off my chest, I suddenly realized a load of tension had been released between us. It was as if we had literally cleared the air, and I was amazed at how much easier it seemed to breathe. Though I wasn't entirely sure about how I felt towards Ezu now, I did know one thing. I had been right when I had told myself this was going to be one hell of a journey.
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Just as the Black Thief promised, we did indeed make it to the kingdom before nightfall-- in fact, we had several hours to spare.

The first indicator that we had crossed into King Francis's territory was the wide, wooden sign stuck smack dab in the middle of the road, that pretty much said, "Welcome to the Kingdom, Have a Nice Day, or We'll Kill You."

Or something like that anyway.

Not long after, we passed a small group of marching soldiers in full regalia-- all jangling bits of metal and flashes of gold and fringes and silks. They were on foot so we overtook them quickly, passing them without incident. But I noticed that as we passed them, though both parties made a pointed show of ignoring the other, Ezu had tensed behind me. His hands-- which had been resting awkwardly near (but not quite touching) my waist-- had turned white with tension, and his fingers were digging into my sides.

"Ezu, you're hurting me." I muttered quietly once we were out of ear shot of the soldiers.

"Sorry." Ezu replied automatically, as if he hadn't really heard me. He relaxed his death grip, but I noticed with curiosity that he didn't let himself breath properly until we had left the soldiers far behind.

Soon the countryside was dotted with houses and mills, which eventually gave way to larger buildings and more densely populated areas. People were evident now, hurrying around the town on various business errands like scattered ants. Some of them cast us distrustful looks, but most ignored out procession. The farther we progressed, the more I noticed we weren't the only ones on the road. For that matter, this wasn't the only road anymore. We were fast approaching the heart of the kingdom, and there was a steady stream of traffic bustling on the dirt path. Fancy carriages rattled past, their wealthy occupant bouncing along invisibly inside. More common than the carriages were the merchant's caravans and carts. The Black Thief had been right when he had said this route was more commonly used for transporting goods.

I was busy staring at two men haggling over the price of a loaf of bread when suddenly we jerked to a halt, and I was nearly dislodged off my perch.

"What? Why did we stop?" I asked, looking around. The Black Thief had paused, and now he turned around and pulled his horse along side the one Ezu and I shared. Jack’s rider reigned his horse in and pulled closer as well.

"I assume this is where we part?" He asked, addressing the Black Thief.

"Yes. We dare not go further-- my face is rather well known in this area." He said apologetically.

"That's fine. You got us this far, and that's saying a lot." I said. I dismounted my horse a little awkwardly, as did Jack and Ezu-- though with a tad more grace. The Black Thief dismounted as well, and stuck his hand out.

"Until we meet again." He said. I took his hand and shook it.

"Until then." He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. I flushed.

"And Jack, Ezu," He continued, turning to the boys. "Make sure she doesn't go around attacking anymore innocent people." He said, jerking his thumb at me with his bandaged hand.

I flushed again, but for different reasons.

"We'll try our best." Ezu grumbled, shaking the Thief's hand shortly.

"Not that it'll do any good." Jack added, taking the Thief's hand as well in a manly shake.

"I hate you guys. All of you," I informed them sourly. The Black Thief laughed, and Jack shot me a crooked smile.

"You adore us, and don't try to hide it!" Jack said, before I could interrupt.

"I adore you guys about as much as I adore head lice." I muttered under my breath

"What was that?" Jack asked mockingly, cocking an eyebrow.

"I said, 'I adore you guys about as much as I adore head lice'," I repeated louder.

"Oh, ouch" Jack winced as though he had been burned. "Now that seems a little harsh. And after all that I've done for you-"

"I'll show you what you've done for me-" I threatened.

It felt good to have things back to normal-- or at least, as normal as they ever were. Well, with Jack anyways. I spared a glance at Ezu, who was pointedly pulling a rather crumpled looking Jinx out from his bag, where he had been put for safe keeping. I don't think things had ever been even remotely normal between Ezu and me.

I sighed and turned back the the Black Thief, leaving my ponderings for another day.

"Be safe." I said, wishing him a last farewell. "And keep and eye out for us. We may need a ride again someday."

"I shall. Good luck, and may your quest prove favorable." He swung himself back onto his horse in one swift movement and motioned to his men.

"Good bye!" I called, waving. He waved back, then spun his horse around, and galloped away, his band of thieves trailing along behind, kicking up a choking cloud of dirt as they sped away.

"Well, now that your Knight in Shining Armor is gone, we can actually get back to what we set out to do." Ezu cut in sourly. I spun on my heel and glared at him.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"Oh come on, do you really think nobody noticed? You practically peed yourself every time that vandal looked at you!"

"I did NOT! And even if I did, which I didn't, why do you even care? It's none of your business-"

Jack interrupted me with a groan, and dropped his head into his hands.

"And here I was thinking that you two had gotten over this!" He moaned into his hands.

"Gotten over what?" Both Ezu and I snapped at the same time, whirling around to face Jack accusingly.

"Oh God, please, if you have any mercy, strike me down now!" Jack pleaded with the sky.

"Shut up." I growled, hitting him in the arm. "This is why we're late. Speaking of which... do either of you have any idea where the actual Castle is?" I asked, looking uncertainly from Jack to Ezu.

"I hate to admit it, but this is the farthest I've ever been from home." Jack admitted with half shrug.

"Before today, your backyard was the farthest you'd ever been from home." Ezu scoffed. "And as a matter of fact, I know exactly where we are going. I, unlike a certain girl who got us into this mess, actually bothered to take the time to prepare a little bit before walking into the Gates of Doom."

"Prepared? How prepared?" I asked, ignoring the insult in the hopes that all wasn't lost after all.

"Enough so that our likelihood of getting ourselves killed have been cut down to, oh, about 90%." Ezu replied mockingly, heaving his bag over his shoulder and turned away from us, starting to walk through the throng of people in the street.

"Be serious!" I called, running after him with Jack at my heels.

"I am." Ezu said without looking over his shoulder. "Our chance of success when we started out was -20%. Trust me, we've made a huge improvement."

"You're an asshole, you know that? Have I told you that?"

"Of course, what with Jack here and all, that'll put us back another 15%..."

"I haven't even said a word to you today, you little git!"

"Somebody do the math, I never learned how. What does that all add up to? A hundred million to one? Against us?"

And on and on it went, Ezu listing all the horrible ways we were going to die, Jack and I hurrying along behind him, and Jinx bringing up the rear, flitting through the thick crowd of people that crushed in on all sides. For the most part I ignored Ezu and his pessimistic attitude, and instead worried about whether we were too late. Oh, and how exactly we were going to sort out this whole mess if we weren't.

And, almost more troubling than my first two worries, how far this actually stretched. What else had I messed up with my presence? Maybe Jack wasn't supposed to be here right now, maybe this was the day he was supposed to trade Milky White for the magic beans... And speaking about Jack and beans, whatever happened to those giants? Were they still after Ezu? And Ezu...

Who the hell was he anyways? He wasn't mentioned in a single story in the Book, not even in one of the poems. He didn't seem to belong. Ther was something off about it all, something off about his past too, about his family and the wolves...-

"Ow!" I stumbled right into Ezu as he stopped abruptly, nearly bringing us both crashing to the ground.

"For the love of... pay attention once and a while, would you please?" Ezu growled.

"Oh, sorry," I said automatically, before I could think up something appropriately snarky to respond with instead. Ezu seemed surprised at my lack of lip, and dropped the scowl from his face.

"Oh... um, that's... that's fine. Just be more careful." He muttered, trailing off at the end awkwardly.

"Why'd we stop?" I asked, changing the subject. In response, Jack grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side, so Ezu wasn't blocking my view anymore. He pointed, and I followed his finger...

And just about died. How a billion foot high castle had managed to sneak up on my, I'll never know, but by god there it was, in all it's castle-y glory.

Okay, so maybe a billion feet was a bit of an exaggeration. But coming from a girl who had spent most of her short life in the suburbs of Boringville, USA, anything taller than the Golden arches at Micky D's was bound to inflict some amount of shock and awe upon my fragile little imagination.
The castle was straight out of a fairy tale- obviously. All turrets and towers and spindly bits reaching towards the clouds, pristine and elegant as a... well, as a castle. The little girl in me, the one that had been fed on a steady diet of cupcakes and Disney Princess movies, wanted to scream and giggle and jump up and down. But unfortunately, the slightly more rational, grow up part of me knew that inside this gleaming palace of Awesome, there was something very sinister going on- something I had, inadvertently, more or less, helped come to pass. Sort of.

"We're here." Ezu said, redundantly.

"Really? I thought we were stopping for a bathroom break." Jack replied sarcastically.
"So, Rikki, I got us this far. Where is she?" Ezu turned to me, paying about as much attention to Jack as if he had suddenly become invisible. I tore my gaze away from the palace, and met the far less magical glare of Ezu's multi colored eyes.

"What?" I asked, a little stupefied. I blame Culture Shock.

"The girl, where is the girl? You know, the one you've killed?" Ezu explained, exasperated.

"I did not kill her! I just killed the guy who was going to save her!"

"Then you were an accessory. Either way, someone's dead, but we can keep that number from rising to two if you will just snap out of it. Where is the princess?" Ezu said, rolling his eyes to the heavens. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought he was praying.

"Fine, OK. Just stop saying it like that. You're getting me down, you Negative Nancy." I snapped. I pushed him out of the way and stared intently at the castle, both trying to guess where the best place to stick a miller's daughter would be, and forget the fact that I had just called Ezu a Negative Nancy. Jinx whirred up beside me and settled on my shoulder, and promptly began cleaning his already immaculate feelers.

"Hey Jinx. I haven't seen you in a while." I said, smiling fondly at the little insect. He buzzed happily in reply. "So, little buddy, where do you think she is?" I asked aloud, more to myself than really to Jinx. He whirred in response nonetheless, which really didn't matter either way because technically I couldn't understand him. "You know," I mused, biting my lip in thought. "If I were a king, I would put her in the tallest tower. That's usually how these things work, isn't it?" Jinx made no reply, instead choosing to begin cleaning his front legs industriously. "I'll take that as a yes." I clapped my hands together and spun around, sending Jinx spinning off my shoulder and buzzing indignantly at me as he settled on Ezu's instead.

"I've got it. I think." I said. "She's in the tallest tower. Which should be that one there," I pointed at the turret that reached above all the other, the thin, sort of wobbly looking one with the tiny rectangular window at the very very top- the only window along the whole length of tower.

"That one.." Ezu repeated incredulously, eyebrows raised. "That one there, the one with the single, itty bitty window?"

"Yes."

"And you're sure about this?"

"No. But it's our best guess. So, how do we get in?" I asked. Ezu groaned.

"I have no idea! I mean, I had a rough plan worked out, but that was before I knew you get some sort of sick pleasure from trying to get us all killed!" Ezu ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair, mussing it up even more than it had been a second before.

"Well, Rumpelstiltskin isn't supposed to appear to the Miller's daughter until night falls, so we still have a few hours to come up with a plan." I said reassuringly, despite the sinking feeling in my own stomach.

"How do we even know she's still alive?" Ezu argued. I glanced around, and stopped an middle aged peasant woman who walked past us.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but could you tell me, has the king married yet?" I asked politely. She looked at me suspiciously, but didn't shake me off.

"No. But word round here is he met some lass who can spin straw into gold on his way back the the palace today. He brought her back with him, or so I hear. He might marry her, if she can do it."

"Thank you." I let her go, and turned back to Jack and Ezu. "There you go. We are right on time." I guess fate was on our side after all.

"Sure. Right on time to watch this all go right to hell in a hand basket." Ezu growled darkly. "Whether she's still alive right now isn't the problem. The problem is how we ensure she's still in the state of living tomorrow morning. We need to find a way into that tower, without anyone noticing. Then, since none of us happen to be in possession of a ton of solid gold hay, we can hopefully sneak her out of there and send her back to where ever she belongs." We all fell silent for a moment, grasping desperately for an idea, any idea.

"What if we dress up like servants?" I suggested tentatively. "That way we could sneak in and grab her while in disguise. If anyone saw us we could say she had to go to the bathroom or something and we were showing her where it was."

But Ezu was shaking his head before I had even finished speaking.

"Won't work. For one, there are three of us. Some one would notice if suddenly there were three new servants wandering around the castle. And we would have to get the disguises in the first place, which would mean taking someone else's. A mugging would probably just get us caught. And supposing even if we HAD pulled that off and nobody cared three strange servants nobody knows are hanging around the castle, once we were in we'd still have to find the tower. Castles are full of corridors and secret passageways and hundreds of hallways, and we'd be more likely to stumble into the King's bed chambers than find the tallest tower. There has to be another way." We lapsed into silence again. I glanced at Jack, who was staring at the tower itself, as if thinking very hard.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Are either of you good at climbing?" He asked slowly.