Little Red Cinderella and the Three Beanstalks

Previously...

Ezu's eyes burned bright. "Don't be ridiculous. You're wonderful. A hundred times prettier than her two dogs, anyways. Even when you're wearing that ridiculous dress."

I was speechless, and my heart pounded so loudly I thought for sure everyone could hear it. Ezu's cheeks were very pink.

"Well." I said quietly. "That almost makes up for you calling me a harlot and trying to keep me from talking to other men earlier tonight."

Ezu's primrose pink became full on fire engine red.

"I never-!"

"Perhaps now if not the best time for this," Jack said quickly, stepping in between the both of us.

"You're right," I said, shaking my head and trying to clear it of the buzzing, repeating loop of words resounding in my ears. You're wonderful, you're wonderful, you're wonderful, you're wonderful... "We have to... we need to think of a way to stop the Step mother and turn Cinderella back. You two go... um..." You're wonderful, you're wonderful... Why had I snapped at him like that? "To go, um, tail the Prince and the Stepmother and stuff. Try to catch them off guard, find out something, I don't know. I need to go to the restroom..." Before either of the boys could intervene I dashed off, loosing myself in the crowd, Ezu's words still ringing in my ears.

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I stumbled towards the powder room, my heart racing and my mind swimming with the implications of what had just gone down while I shoved my way rudely past gaggles of giggling girls.

Ezu had called me wonderful. He had called me pretty.

Well, he'd said I was prettier than the Ugly Step Sisters, which didn't exactly qualify me for Miss America or anything, but who was I to be picky?

Ezu had said I was wonderful, and that made my heart do funny things in my chest and it made my tummy feel like it had been turned upside down and it made my head spin with the implications and...

No. No, wait. Hold on a minute. I was being ridiculous. Maybe I was reading too much into his words.

He called you wonderful, what is there to read into that? said the hopeful little voice in my head, but I stifled it. We were friends, and not even very good ones, really, if you considered how much we fought. But you can't travel halfway across a country battling Giants and gnomes and Princes without ending up as something resembling friends. So what if I was wrong? What if he just meant it the same way I told Jack he was amazing or wonderful every time he came up with a plan in the nick of time? What if...

By the time I reached the door of the washroom, the heady high I'd gotten when Ezu had said those intoxicating words had completely evaporated, leaving me feeling seriously depressed, and a tiny bit nauseous. Oh, and there was still a wicked stepmother to defeat and a missing princess to find and change back from a pumpkin in the next forty minutes or so. In case you'd forgotten.

Things were not going according to plan.

I yanked the washroom door open and threw myself inside, desperate for a quiet place to regain my composure. I shut the door and leaned against it, panting heavily. But before I could catch my breath, there was a stifled shout, and Iur looked up to find, quite to my surprise, that I wasn't alone.

[REDACTED]

((In this scene, Rikki discovers Jonathan is gay. It originally included it because I was worried Rikki was getting a bit Mary Sue-ish with all the rando men fawning over her, so I thought I'd solve that issue by making this guy not really be interested in her at all because he's gay. There weren't any offensive tropes or jokes or anything, but it was forced and unrealistic, and not a good representation of gay characters in general, so I've decided to cut it.))

"All I ask is that you distract this woman for me. She's wearing a dark blue dress, and has black hair and black eyes. She's an older lady, and practically radiates evil."

"Are you talking about Lady deCre?" Jonathan asked, his brow furrowed.

"Does Lady deCre have two lovely daughters and an even more beautiful step daughter, who was the child of the merchant she married?

"Er, I believe so, yes."

"Then yes. I just need you to distract her for a while. I don't care how, just get her attention away from the Prince. You think you can pull that off?"

"Do I want to know why you wish for me to distract her?" Jonathan asked, a little uncertainly.

"Probably not." I replied. "But I'm doing this to... to help a friend. And I promise, no one is going to get hurt; I just need a distraction."

Jonathan sighed, relieved, and gave me a grateful smile. "For you? Of course!"

"Now I've got to go, so... the best of luck to you two." I grabbed the door handle and made to open it.

"Oh, and Miss Collins," Jonathan suddenly added.

"Yeah?"

"You really were very good at dancing, I did mean that."

I smiled at him. "Thanks. At least something has gone right tonight. Hopefully I'll see you later, Jonathan." Jonathan beamed at me. I finally slipped out of the powder room, and heaved another sigh of relief.

Once out of the akward closet, I tried to psych myself up. Alright. I had a plan. We were one step closer to rescing Cinderella, and even though we now had just under half and hour to do it, all hope was not lost. We could do this.

I just had to find Jack and Ezu...
I found them lingering around the snack table, both of them stuffing their faces with elaborate pastriesand finger sandwhiches, and fortunately keeping their eyes locked on the Prince, who was trying to simultaneously dance with both step sisters. The Stepmother stood nearby, wathcing the scene with a cold, self satisfied gleam in her eyes.

"Hey," I breathed, sidling up beside the boys, and avoided meeting Ezu's gaze.

"Hey. We haven't let them out of our sight." Jack said, through a mouthful of pink crumbs.

"Perfect. I think I have a plan."

"About time." Ezu scoffed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and loosing half his lipstick in the process. "Is it a good one?"

"Ummm..."

"Is it a safe one?"

"Ummm..."

"Will it work?"

"Ummm..."

"Oh goody." Ezu scowled, snatching another pastry with so much agression you'd have thought it had insulted his mother. I glared at him.

"I almost liked you better when you were drunkenly complimenting me. At least I have a plan."

A look of shame faced guilt flashed across Ezu's face. "Rikki, I-"

"No," I cut him off icily. "There's no time. We have to get working if we want to save the world. We've got half an hour."

"So what are we doing?" Jack asked.

"Okay, here's the plan." I lowered my voice, and leaned in closer to the boys. "I've got a couple of friends working on distracting the Step Mother. Jack, it's going to be your job to make sure none of the guests start to notice the Prince's absence."

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know, just think of something. Ezu, you and me are going to lure the Prince somewhere alone, and then..." I glanced around me, searching the buffet table until my gaze alighted on a beautiful, very expensive looking vase. I grabbed it and dumped the flowers out. "And then we hit him with this. He goes down, we carry him to the graveyard. We wake him up, and make him start kissing pumpkins. That always works in stories. When he kisses the one that is Cinderella, she should turn back into herself."

The boys stared at me, mouths agape.

"That..." Jack began.

"Is the most..." Ezu continued.

"Ingenious-"

"Idiotic-"

"Plan I have ever heard."

"Ever."

"Well, do you have a better one?" I snapped at Ezu, a tad defensively.

"Beating someone into unconsciousness doesn't even work like that, do you realize that? Even assuming we can wake him up without brain damage, it'll take at least twenty minutes to drag him to the graveyard. There won't be time for him to kiss every damn pumpkin before midnight!"

"Like I said," I replied stonily. "Do you have a better plan?"

Ezu stood there, silently fuming for a few moments, before heaving a sigh and visibly deflating. "No," He said bitterly. "I suppose not."

"Alright." I glanced around the ballroom, trying to catch a glimpse of Jonathan. I saw him sliding through the crowd, turning his head from side to side, evidently also on the look out. I gave a little wave, catching their attention. Jonathan smiled, and I pointed at the Step Mother.
Go, I mouthed, urging him on. He nodded, and headed off in her direction.

"Ok, it's go time." I whirled Jack around and gave him a push in the small of his back. "Go on. And get ready, you'll need to act any moment now."

"How do I know when?"

"Just watch the Step Mother. When she takes her eyes off the Prince, make your move." I gave him another push, and sent him stumbling into the crowd. I turned to Ezu, grabbing him by his arm and pulling him towards the Prince, still holding the vase tightly in my other hand. "Alright, our turn. Let's go."

"Why can't we ever do anything safe or fun together?" Ezu groaned. "Why is it always running from giants or climbing towers or kidnapping Princes? Can't we just knit a sweater or something?"

We sidled up to the Prince, who was still listlessly waltzing with the Not-So-Ugly-Step Sisters. We kept just out of sight, because the last thing I wanted was to catch the attention of the Wicked Step Mother. I watched carefully as Jonathan approached, and held my breath. I had no idea what he was going to do, but I hope it would be big enough. If we couldn't get the step sisters away from the Prince as well, we were screwed.

Jonathan slid up to the Step Mother, making general conversion with Maxwell. He was holding a goblet of something dark, wine I assumed, and it was filled to the brim. Just as he made to pass the Step Mother, whose attention was still fixed intently on her daughters, he "accidently" threw himself into her, spilling his drink all down her dress and practically knocking her to the ground. She gave a little shriek of shock and indignance, and stared appalled at the wet stain soaking into her finery.

"My dear madam, are you all right? I am dreadfully sorry!"

"You clumsy oaf! Look what you've done!" She shrieked, her complexion turning as red as the wine spilled down her front. Her daughters were suddenly all cooing sympathy for their poor mother, detaching themselves hurriedly from the prince and trying to ineffectually sop up the drink with their dainty handkerchiefs.

While Jonathan purred his apologies, and the Step Mother and Sisters furiously told him in detail what they were going to have done to him for his "clumsy act", I watched and waited for Jack to make his move.

Good old Jack. When his signal came, it was impossible to miss. The act of snatching the King's crown right off his shiny bald head was more than enough to distract every guest at the ball. What with the mad chase now progressing as a platoon of armor-clanking guards chased Jack all around the ball room, no one would realize the Prince was missing; at least, not until we were already long gone.

Ezu and I edged right up behind the Prince, whose attention, like everyone else's, was fixed upon the spectacle ahead. As a result, he didn't notice the heavy, expensive vase colliding with his perfectly coiffed head until it had done it's job, and by then he was blissfully unconscious. Ezu grabbed him before he collapsed completely, and in a few laborious seconds he was him slung in between us, his limp arms cast over our shoulders, while we dragged him hastily towards the palace doors.

"What about the guards?" I hissed, out of breath and struggling under the Prince's dead weight.

"It's a little late to be worrying about that," Ezu grunted in response. We were already at the doors now, and had to risk it, otherwise someone was bound to notice us hauling away the Heir to the Kingdom and come to stop us. So we slipped out the door, and risked out chances.

The same guard was stationed there that had been there earlier that night, when the Boys and I had entered the ball.

"Looks like the Prince had a little too much wine," Ezu grinned nonchalantly at the guard.

"Yep, just taking the poor guy out for some air. Help him sober up, you know," I added quickly.

"Smooth," Ezu grimaced under his breath.

My terrible lying abilities didn't matter though, since the guard was just as oblivious as last time.

"Prince?" He echoed uncertainly as we stumbled through the castle gates, a little too quickly to seem entirely innocent.

But the hard part was done, and we were through the gates, dragging the prince's dead weight to the pumpkin patch, with just enough time to save Cinderella. We cut it close, but from here on out it was smooth sailing.

Come on now, you don't really believe that, do you? Things are NEVER that easy.