Second Guessing and Tears Stressing

“Zacky?” I asked, as he turned his iPod off.

“Mm?” He asked.

“Can we go shopping?” He looked around.

“Kor, we’re moving how do you expect to shop? In the kitchen?”

“We stop in twenty minutes,” I said. “Besides, you need food in here anyhow.”

“Food? There’s only two more weeks until tour is over hun, why buy more, when we can just eat out?” I frowned, thinking of the fact tour was almost over, I’d be jobless, and having to decide whether to move back to Cali, or stay in Jersey.

“I don’t want tour to end,” I said. He smiled a bit.

“Hun, what’re you worrying about?” He pulled me closer, and I smiled a bit.

“Nothing…well, nothing major.”

“Sure, you always say that, now be truthful, what’re you worrying about?” He said, smiling, and then going back to the conversation.

“I…I love you, you know that, of course…but I don’t think I want to move back to Cali Zacky…it’s just not…not me. Sure I grew up there, and I have five million memories, but I’ve lived in Jersey for nine years, and I’ve got a life built there, friends, and…it’s my home, my world.” He frowned after I explained everything.

“What’s so different about Oakland from Newark?” He finally asked.

“Oakland’s…Oakland, and Newark…there’s things that I love about it. Like the fact that both Bobbi Jo and Vyra live right down the street, or that there’s a Starbucks, and CVS, a music store, and a Hot Topic not even five blocks from my apartment. Oakland’s different. You have a while to go, a bit further to walk, and it’s…smaller. You know how much I love cities Zacky. It’s part of my ‘always running, and never in the same place,’ motto.” He smiled as I said.

“That never did change,” He grinned.

“Yeah, I know,” I laughed. “Zacky?”

“Yeah babe?”

“What if…what if maybe…I did move to Cali, would that be something you would want?” He smiled, brushing hair out of my face.

“Here’s what I think baby,” He said. “I think, that whatever you choose to do is fine with me, but I’m not losing you for a second time. I think that if you choose to stay in Jersey, then that’s fine, give me three days to pack up, and I’m right there beside you. I think that if Cali is where you wanna be, let’s search for a house together. I think that if you wanna move right next to the beach, I’m right there beside you.” I kissed him.

“Thanks,” I whispered. “I like the beach idea.”

“I knew you would,” He said laughing. “You love the beach.” It’s true, it was one thing about California that I actually never minded. We lived close to the beach, and I had taken advantage of it, year round. While yes, Jersey had beaches, you couldn’t go year round, because of the cold weather. I got the beach loving from my mom. I can still to this day remember when we were sitting around, and my dad would say something stupid, and my gram would laugh.

“What do you think Jen’s going to do when she divorces you?” She asked.

“She’s going to the beach. Down south probably. Maybe Panama City.” And then my dad and I would have a fight.

“Where do you think that girl’s going to go as soon as she can Roe?” My Gram would ask.

“To the beach. It’s the one thing her and her mother actually have in common. They love that sort of stuff. Beaches, waves, boardwalks, sand, beach music.” And once again, my gram would shake her head, laugh, comment on how free spirited she always knew I was, and they’d move on to another conversation.

Once my dad died, things between me and my mother got fifty times worse. We were fighting constantly, and my mom was always trying to put me in charge of things, meanwhile, I was busy breaking into schools, drinking, and causing havoc around the entire town. She couldn’t take it anymore, and kicked me out, not even a month after Zacky left when we were 16.

“Zacky?”

“Mm?”

“Can we go shopping, please?” I begged. He sighed.

“Sure, why not?” He grinned.

“YES!!” I Shouted. I jumped up, and started getting ready. I made a shopping list, and by then, we were at Wal-Mart. “Piggy back,” I ordered, in the parking lot. Matt laughed as Zacky bent down a bit and I jumped onto his back, wrapped my arms around his neck, and he started walking again.

“Sometimes I wonder,” Matt shook his head. “Whether you’re 25, or two.”

“Shut up!” I glared. Vyra grabbed Jimmy’s hand, and laughed.

“I know what you mean, she’s a pain in my—“

“NO SWEARING!” Tyler shouted, holding onto Johnny and Taylor’s hands. “Right Daddy?”

“right Little Man,” Johnny grinned. This was obviously a proud thing, to be called daddy. Johnny loved being a parent, no matter how immature he was at times.

“What do we need?” Zacky asked, as we walked in.

“Liquid eyeliner, regular eyeliner, Mascara, nail polish, shampoo, hair spray, straightening spray, black hair dye, we need to stop somewhere and get red hair dye, the kind that I like, I need new sunglasses, that Paris Hilton perfume that while I truly hate her freakin guts, I like the smell of it, razors—don’t think about commenting on that, shaving cream, chips, chocolate, skittles, m&m’s, soda, the juice that I like, because I’m on a diet again, oh yea, and any headache medicine with acetometophine, seeing as I’m allergic to Ibuprofen,” I finished, glaring at Zacky. He smirked.

“It’s not like I knew you were allergic to it,” He said. Once, when we were fourteen, I told him to go get me some type of pain medicine, because I had a really bad headache, he came back with Motrin, in which I’m allergic to anything with Ibuprofen, and I ended up throwing up all night, and having to go to the emergency room. Ever since a hospital stay ((I hate hospitals)) For something that stupid, I’ve reminded him of it.

“Sure ya didn’t,” I muttered, checking off eyeliner as we grabbed some.

“I didn’t!” He exclaimed. I rolled my eyes, and wrapped my arms tighter around his neck. “Where to?”

“Hair products, and make sure I don’t get that Clairol stuff, and I get the Garnier,” I said, as he walked to the hair isle. He stopped in front of the hair dye, and stooped down so I could look closer. I scanned the rows until I found jet black, and grabbed two boxes. My hair was thick, so it took two boxes to get through my hair completely.

“What else?” He said as he stood back up, and groaned. I giggled.

“You’re getting old, that isle that has sunglasses,” He scanned the isles for a minute, and then walked off towards the sunglasses.

“I’m not getting old. 25 isn’t old. It’s the new 16. And I can still remember when I was 16. Besides, you’re the same age as me.”

“But women age slower,” I said as he put me down and I looked at the oversized black sunglasses. I finally found a pair that were black with white polka-dots. “You like these?” I asked, as I tried them on.

“I liked your old ones better, but yeah, I do,” He nodded. “And women don’t age slower, they age at the same pace. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“They do too, And I liked my old ones better too, they were cute, but they don’t have them here.” I looked for a pair of back and white striped ones, that had little studs that looked like diamonds on either side. It was funny, how we could go into a conversation, and keep it, while doing something else. It was a weird habit of ours together. We could be arguing and shopping together constantly.

“How do they, and they sell your old ones online, don’t they. They were Chanel, right?”

“Giovanni, learn your designers, and how don’t women age slower. There’s all those creams, facelifts, plastic surgery, or just plain good looks.”

“So you’re saying you’d get plastic surgery? And why should I learn designers? I’m not girly, or a girl.”

“I would never get plastic surgery, don’t ask something so stupid again!” I glared. “And if you’re going to say what designer created my sunglasses, get it right, that’s why you should learn them.”

“GAH! Jimmy, no! Don’t you dare—oomph!” I heard Vyra the next isle over. I grabbed the sunglasses, and ran over. Vyra was lying on the ground, and Jimmy was next to her, laughing.

“Guys!” I sighed. “Can we just not act like kids for once?”

“No, this is our nature!” Vyra giggled. She pulled me down, and started tickling me.

“Agh! Vy, no! Vy!” I laughed.

“LEAPFROG!” Jimmy shouted.

“YEAH!” Vyra shouted. She jumped over Jimmy. Jimmy jumped over Zacky, Zacky jumped over me, and over and over again. We laughed and repeated. Matt and Syn came over with Bobbi Jo.

“Oh my god you guys!” Matt hissed. “What are you doing?!” We giggled as we leapfrogged into the next isle and people stared. “Guys, knock it off! I’m sorry,” He apologized to an old lady who was staring disapproving. “They have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder,” He explained.

“WE DO NOT!” Vyra shouted, giggling. “Well, Kor did, does, whatever!” I laughed.

“I had a doped up doctor, so I didn’t actually, I was just on Ritalin for sixteen years before the doctor in Jersey told me that the other doctor was nuts, and the only problem was how much sugar I always had in my system. He said it was a miracle that I didn’t have diabetes.”

“Yeah, it’s a miracle,” Matt said. “Maybe they should diagnose you with it, then you’d shut up!”

“Shut up!” I glared. He rolled his eyes as Vyra leapfrogged over Zacky ((Not sure how that happened.)) “MYYYYY TUUURRRRNNNN!!!” I screamed, jumping over Vyra. Now we were just randomly jumping, but having fun.

“OKAY GUYS!” Someone shouted. We stopped, and turned around. Frank, Mikey, and Bob stood there. “How could you play Wal-Mart Leapfrog without me?” Frank pouted. I giggled.

“You named it?”

“Yeah, ages ago, when we were on a long tour, and bored,” Frank waved off. “Now get down, I’m playing!” I laughed, and knelt down as he jumped over. “Yeah!” He shouted, landing perfectly. Then I jumped over him, and Zacky.

“This looks fun,” Bobbi Jo said. Then she grinned. “But not as fun as Wal-Mart Freeze tag!” We all looked at each other, shouted “MATT’S IT!” And ran.

“GUYS!” He shouted. “I THOUGHT WE WERE—HEY GET BACK HERE, I TOUCHED YOU!—SUPPOSED TO BE SHOPPING! NOT PLAYING—HA! GOTCHA!—WAL-MART FREEZE TAG!” I giggled, shrieked as I saw Matt, ran a different way, and giggled again. It was fun to be a kid sometimes. Okay, so not sometimes, all the time but, still.
I turned down an isle, and ran into a girl. “Oof! Ow!” She whisper-shouted. I giggled, as we pulled each other up. She was a teenager, 15 or 16, and had on black Tripp Pants, and a band shirt.

“Why’re you whispering?” I whispered back.

“Hide ‘n Seek, Wal-Mart style,” She whispered, grinning. I grinned too.

“Yeah, with who?”

“Um, boyfriend, best friends.”

“SAVANNAH!!” Someone shouted. “Where are you?”

“KORYNN, you can’t run forever—well, then again, maybe you can—but we have to finish shopping!” Matt said, turning down the isle.

“Oh my god,” Savannah said. “You’re from A7X, that’s so cool,” Matt stopped.

“Should I run?” I shook my head.

“She’s cool, she was playing Hide ‘n Seek,” I explained, as if that made her one of the most interesting people in the world. Matt nodded.

“VANNAH!” Someone shouted. “C’mon seriously, how come she always gets away with hiding?” He came around the corner. “God, finally.” He sighed. “You’re hard to find.”

“I know,” Savannah grinned. “It comes with the Savannah Lee Package.” I laughed, and the other guy looked at me for the first time.

“Cool! You’re the fill-in drummer for A7X, and you were the guitar tech for My Chem,” He said. I nodded.

“Hi, and it’s Korynn,” I said.

“Right, I knew that,” He nodded. “Damian.”

“Nice to meet ya,” I said. “This is Matt.”

“Of course,” He nodded, shaking Matt’s hand. Wow, these people don’t go all fan-crazy on you.

“VANNAH! DAMIAN CAN’T FIND YOU—OH, HE FOUND YOU!” A short brunette came through. She too, was dressed in black, added touch of hot pink, under her black shirt.

“Liza, no shouting!” Savannah scolded.

“Yes ma’am,” She nodded, adding a southern drawl to her voice. I giggled, and introduced myself. We all talked for a bit as her boyfriend, and her other two guy friends, came up. Zacky took my hand as we walked out, two hours later.

“They reminded me of us,” He said, as we walked to the tour bus.

“Totally,” I nodded. “It was like being sixteen again.”