Second Guessing and Tears Stressing
That flew straight out the window...
“P-pregnant?” He asked, stuttering on the words. I am a strong person. I don’t cry unless I mean it…but this kid has driven my emotional nerves over the cliff. Tears filled my eyes.
“I knew you’d hate the idea!” I cried, tears pouring down my face, I rushed to the bedroom. I shut the door. He came running back and started knocking.
“Kor, it just took me by surprise. Please, come out, and let’s discuss this like civilized adults.”
“This kid is making me un-civilized!” I screamed, burying my face into the pillow. He came in, cautiously. I let him come in, and sit on the bed. “I hate kids, how can I be pregnant with one?!” I moaned. He patted me on the back.
“You don’t hate kids Korynn, you love them. If I remember correctly, you were the one who was setting up a babysitting company at the age of ten.”
“Yeah, well, nobody wanted me to watch their kids. I must be horrible.”
“You were TEN!” He laughed. “Did you expect them to want you to watch their kids?”
“Yes,” I sniffled. He laughed again.
“Hun, don’t take this in offense, but you’re right about the baby making you emotional.”
“I said un-civilized,”I glared. He just smiled again.
“You wanna know what I think?” He asked. I nodded, slowly. “I think a baby’s great. We would be fantastic parents. I think that you are worrying about nothing. I think that you prepared to tell me far to perfectly.” I grinned.
“Bobbi Jo and Vyra made me.”
“How long til you got an idea.”
“An hour.”
“What were previous ideas?” He asked.
“Oh, well, there was making you drunk, so when I told you, you’d be too fucked up to know, and there was one about just telling you and then pushing you over a cliff so you’d have amnesia.” He rolled his eyes.
“Lemme guess, you thought of the drunk one, and Vyra thought of having you push me over a cliff.”
“Actually, she wanted to push you,” I said, laughing. He just laughed with me.
“Baby, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m not leaving you, okay?” I nodded, curling up next to him, as he lay down. He put his arms around me, and kissed the top of my forehead. “I know that you think that a baby could destroy us, and I know that you have a hard time trusting guys to stay around. But I’m in this for the long run this time okay? I swear.”
“You swore last time too,” I whispered, still curled up into him.
“I know,” He sighed. “And I made a mistake. I’m sorry.” I smiled, and yawned, before slowly falling asleep. Before I did though, I said one last thing.
“I love you,” I whispered.
xxx
“Mm, this is so good,” I said through a mouthful of pasta. He scrunched his face up at me eating with my mouth open, and nodded a thanks.
“So, whatcha doing tomorrow?” He asked.
“Watching you leave,” I frowned. He smiled a bit.
“I don’t want to,” He said. I nodded.
“I’ll be back in three months. You can make it until then, can’t you?”
“No,” I answered honestly.
“Korynn,” He sighed.
“Zacky,” I sighed back.
“Please, this is my job. I have to.”
“Leave everything just to record a fucking CD?” I asked angrily.
“It’s not easy writing music. You do it, you know!”
“NO, I don’t know Zacky. I’m not famous, but I don’t think that you should have to isolate everything just to write a song!”
“Try writing it with everyone around you! You know you have to be in total peace and clarity.”
“You sound like a hippy,” I grumbled.
“You’re making a huge deal out of my job we have to support the baby somehow.”
“So get a normal job, don’t become a rock star.” I muttered, clearing the plates.
“Korynn,” He sighed again. “It’s a bit to late for that.”
“I’m going to bed,” I announced, pushing past him, and grabbing a towel and pajamas, I slammed the door to the master bathroom. Behind me I heard him slamming around and mumbling something about him never doing anything right.
xxx
“Bye baby,” He whispered, the next morning, as I was half asleep, watching him walk out the door again.
“Bye,” I whispered, still clinging to his arms. He chuckled. We’d long made up last night, and now we were the same as ever. “Please, hurry,” I asked, kissing him.
“I’ll be as fast as I can,” He nodded.
“Give Tay and Johnny and M my love?” I asked. He nodded again.
“And call every day?” He nodded.
“And make sure you do your laundry. Your clothes stunk,” I wrinkled my nose, and he laughed.
“Promise. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He walked out, and I smiled and bit, and walked back to my room, and fell asleep.
“WAKE YOUR LAZY PREGNANT ASS UP!!” Someone screamed, jumping around. I opened one eye and saw Vyra.
“Pregnant people are allowed to sleep, get offa my bed.” I groaned, turning over. She laughed.
“Nope! You got visitors!” I groaned again.
“Kick ‘em out!” I snapped.
“Nuh-uh!” Frankie walked in. My mouth dropped open, as the person behind him followed him. It was Gerard. Today was supposed to be a good day.
Well, that all flew straight out the goddamn window.
“I knew you’d hate the idea!” I cried, tears pouring down my face, I rushed to the bedroom. I shut the door. He came running back and started knocking.
“Kor, it just took me by surprise. Please, come out, and let’s discuss this like civilized adults.”
“This kid is making me un-civilized!” I screamed, burying my face into the pillow. He came in, cautiously. I let him come in, and sit on the bed. “I hate kids, how can I be pregnant with one?!” I moaned. He patted me on the back.
“You don’t hate kids Korynn, you love them. If I remember correctly, you were the one who was setting up a babysitting company at the age of ten.”
“Yeah, well, nobody wanted me to watch their kids. I must be horrible.”
“You were TEN!” He laughed. “Did you expect them to want you to watch their kids?”
“Yes,” I sniffled. He laughed again.
“Hun, don’t take this in offense, but you’re right about the baby making you emotional.”
“I said un-civilized,”I glared. He just smiled again.
“You wanna know what I think?” He asked. I nodded, slowly. “I think a baby’s great. We would be fantastic parents. I think that you are worrying about nothing. I think that you prepared to tell me far to perfectly.” I grinned.
“Bobbi Jo and Vyra made me.”
“How long til you got an idea.”
“An hour.”
“What were previous ideas?” He asked.
“Oh, well, there was making you drunk, so when I told you, you’d be too fucked up to know, and there was one about just telling you and then pushing you over a cliff so you’d have amnesia.” He rolled his eyes.
“Lemme guess, you thought of the drunk one, and Vyra thought of having you push me over a cliff.”
“Actually, she wanted to push you,” I said, laughing. He just laughed with me.
“Baby, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m not leaving you, okay?” I nodded, curling up next to him, as he lay down. He put his arms around me, and kissed the top of my forehead. “I know that you think that a baby could destroy us, and I know that you have a hard time trusting guys to stay around. But I’m in this for the long run this time okay? I swear.”
“You swore last time too,” I whispered, still curled up into him.
“I know,” He sighed. “And I made a mistake. I’m sorry.” I smiled, and yawned, before slowly falling asleep. Before I did though, I said one last thing.
“I love you,” I whispered.
xxx
“Mm, this is so good,” I said through a mouthful of pasta. He scrunched his face up at me eating with my mouth open, and nodded a thanks.
“So, whatcha doing tomorrow?” He asked.
“Watching you leave,” I frowned. He smiled a bit.
“I don’t want to,” He said. I nodded.
“I’ll be back in three months. You can make it until then, can’t you?”
“No,” I answered honestly.
“Korynn,” He sighed.
“Zacky,” I sighed back.
“Please, this is my job. I have to.”
“Leave everything just to record a fucking CD?” I asked angrily.
“It’s not easy writing music. You do it, you know!”
“NO, I don’t know Zacky. I’m not famous, but I don’t think that you should have to isolate everything just to write a song!”
“Try writing it with everyone around you! You know you have to be in total peace and clarity.”
“You sound like a hippy,” I grumbled.
“You’re making a huge deal out of my job we have to support the baby somehow.”
“So get a normal job, don’t become a rock star.” I muttered, clearing the plates.
“Korynn,” He sighed again. “It’s a bit to late for that.”
“I’m going to bed,” I announced, pushing past him, and grabbing a towel and pajamas, I slammed the door to the master bathroom. Behind me I heard him slamming around and mumbling something about him never doing anything right.
xxx
“Bye baby,” He whispered, the next morning, as I was half asleep, watching him walk out the door again.
“Bye,” I whispered, still clinging to his arms. He chuckled. We’d long made up last night, and now we were the same as ever. “Please, hurry,” I asked, kissing him.
“I’ll be as fast as I can,” He nodded.
“Give Tay and Johnny and M my love?” I asked. He nodded again.
“And call every day?” He nodded.
“And make sure you do your laundry. Your clothes stunk,” I wrinkled my nose, and he laughed.
“Promise. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He walked out, and I smiled and bit, and walked back to my room, and fell asleep.
“WAKE YOUR LAZY PREGNANT ASS UP!!” Someone screamed, jumping around. I opened one eye and saw Vyra.
“Pregnant people are allowed to sleep, get offa my bed.” I groaned, turning over. She laughed.
“Nope! You got visitors!” I groaned again.
“Kick ‘em out!” I snapped.
“Nuh-uh!” Frankie walked in. My mouth dropped open, as the person behind him followed him. It was Gerard. Today was supposed to be a good day.
Well, that all flew straight out the goddamn window.