Looking Through Crystal

It was three days, three very long days before Jakob was able to sneak back to the Planet Estate. Armed with packets of crisps and bars of chocolate, he managed to slip out the side gate of his school, before Adrienne had a chance to bundle him into the car. The end of the school day was often an unpleasant experience, as reporters would linger in the background, waiting for them. Joey had pointed out many times that it would be much easier for the two of them to walk home as it would attract less attention, but Adrienne wouldn’t hear of it. There had been one awful time Billie Joe had picked them up, resulting in them being two hours late and the car being dented badly. Miss Marks, the overly strict, very religious headmistress, had called Adrienne in the next day, asking if she could possibly arrange for a neighbour to drive the boys to and from school. There had been a huge row, and she had never bothered them again.

The side gate was situated at completely the opposite side of the school as the main one, so it wasn’t terribly hard for Jakob to go unnoticed. There was no need for him to pass Adrienne, or Joey, since his brother was in the upper school and nearer the other exit. Kingsbury Primary was only a very short distance form the wreckage, and there were few roads to cross, meaning Jakob could get there quickly and safely. Of course, he would have a lot of explaining to do when he eventually got home, but that was a small price to pay if someone’s life was in danger, wasn’t it? On Halloween, Crystal looked very nearly starved to death. Her face was sunken, almost ghostly, her skin paper thin. And yet, Jakob felt some kind of strange connection to her. He felt bound by a new loyalty, something he had never experienced before, being only eight. Nobody had ever depended on him. It was a huge responsibility, but not an overwhelming one. When there is that connection, nothing is too much trouble. There was something eerily familiar about her, particularly her eyes. Jakob could see a small part of himself in Crystal’s solemn gaze. He had lived in riches all his life, surrounded by love and laughter, and yet something had always been missing. His Dad was never there.

The emptiness, much like the desolation of the Planet Estate, ate away at him. He had Joey, but Joey was older and didn’t seem to mind so much. He just got on with things; he had a knack for accepting how everything was. Kingsbury wasn’t their first school; they’d been moved several times in the past. Every time, Joey settled into a new gang, made enemies in the teachers, and strolled around the playground as though he owned the place. Jakob was somewhat quieter. He had friends, and plenty of them, but he never had Joey’s confidence. Miss Marks for some reason liked him, a great deal more than she liked any other pupil. She was forever inviting him into her office for a ‘little chat’, or offering him a mint. He had four of these in his pocket, and was planning to give them to Crystal, along with a slice of chocolate cake, two packets of crisps (smoky bacon and chicken), several handfuls of sweets left over from the party, and a thick woollen blanket. He’d had a job sneaking that lot out the house.

“What’s all that?” Adrienne had asked him suspiciously in the car that morning, “You don’t have PE today, why do you need three carrier bags?”

Jakob had hastily scrambled into the backseat, out of her reach.

“It’s…erm…for a project” he invented, “We’ve got to bring in some of our…erm…artwork”

It wasn’t the best excuse in the world, but it seemed to distract his mum enough for him to change the subject.

Only now he was regretting it. It might have been a short walk, but the harsh weather conditions hadn’t improved any, and school blazers are not waterproof. None of this was helped by the fact that he had a bag in each hand, one in his mouth, and a rucksack. By the time Jakob reached the old flats, he was dripping wet and exhausted.

“Crystal” he shouted, shaking the hair from his face, “Crystal, you there?”

A small ‘yes’, indicating that she was somewhere among the rubble, caught his attention, and he ran to the place they’d met before. It seemed almost a lifetime ago, so much had happened since he went trick or treating. Joey had been well warned about annoying him for one thing, and for another, the atmosphere in the house had lightened greatly. Everyone was so much more relaxed when his Dad was around; there were no arguments, no hurried phone calls. But Jakob was all to aware that those blissful three weeks would be over far too fast, and so would begin more months of loneliness.

“Who is it?” came a voice, bringing him back to earth, “Is that you Jakob?”

Jakob, who couldn’t recall telling her his name, stepped over an old filing cabinet. There seemed to be much more rubbish lying around than there had been three days previously, mostly consisting of newspapers. For a moment, he simply assumed that youths had been hanging around the flats at night, and leaving litter. But then he realized that gangs rarely read paper, preferring to stick to dirty magazines. What was also odd, was that the newspapers were pretty old. Not ancient, perhaps dated around a year before. But where would anyone get year old newspapers?

“Crystal” he called, stumbling, “I’ve got you something to eat, and some other stuff”
Although it was damp and dim, the conditions in the wreckage were marginally better than they had been at Halloween. It wasn’t so dark for a start, for which Jakob was very thankful. There was a soft thump from somewhere amongst the debris, making Jakob start. Then, came a friendly hand, grabbing his wrist.

“Hey” he said, recovering from the fright, “I came to see if you were okay”

It was obvious however, that she was not okay. She was frailer than he remembered, every bone in her body looked as if it would snap at the slightest touch. Her huge green eyes blinked at him like a frightened rabbit, begging him to do something. And Jakob had no idea what that something was. For a moment, he considered telling his Dad and asking for help. He would know what to do, and then Jakob wouldn’t have to carry the burden alone. He’d hardly slept since finding Crystal; every moment was spent planning when he was going to go back, what he would have to take, and how to explain to his parents where he’d been. But then Jakob dismissed the idea almost as quickly as he’d thought of it. His Dad was only home for a few weeks, and then he had a whole stressful tour to get through. He would be homesick and exhausted, without worrying about a strange girl alone in wreckage. His time at home was supposed to be spent as a family, not with him running off to the old flats every five minutes. It was becoming more and more obvious that he was in this alone.

“You’re not alone” Crystal said, “You’ve got a family, mine left”

Surprisingly, it didn’t come as a shock to him that she could read minds. Everything about her was so creepy, Jakob felt like she could be standing on her head and juggling hedgehogs, and he wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. It did however; make him feel slightly uneasy, as he’d had several unpleasant thoughts since arriving at the Estate. You can’t always help what you think, and Jakob had unfortunately been imagining how awful things would be when his Dad went back to Europe. He’d conjured up images of being so lonely it hurt, and wishing that somebody else would hurt more. Of course he hadn’t meant his Mum or Joey, or even Crystal. It had been a general thought, something which had popped into his head, almost like a dream. Except Crystal wasn’t a dream, Jakob was quite sure of that. His Mum had told him once how difficult it was to work other whether you are dreaming or not. You must find a sign or book; anything with writing on it will do, and read it. Then close your eyes and look back at it. If the writing had changed in any way, it meant that what was happening was merely a dream, and you could carry on as normal and enjoy it. Jakob had tried this perhaps a hundred times, and had only once had the writing changed. He had caught himself dreaming, and it was an amazing feeling, so thrilling it had woken him. Only now he was trying the same trick with one of the newspapers, and the headline stayed stubbornly as ’87 YEAR OLD MURDERED IN HIS OWN HOME’, no matter how many times he blinked at it.

“Sorry” Crystal whispered, “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just wanted you to know what
happened to me. You do want to know, don’t you?”

Jakob wasn’t entirely sure that he did, getting very little sleep as it was. However, humans are naturally curious, and he found himself nodding.

“Okay” he said, resolving only to think about pretty bunnies in meadows until he had worked
out whether she was really a mind-reader, “Tell me”

He sat down on the damp ground beside her, feeling a sudden rush of chill air. It was as if something had been awoken, something which should have been left in peace. Something which should have stayed buried under the mass of rubbish.

“I lived here once” Crystal said, “With my mum and dad. I had a little brother too; only, they weren’t exactly my real family. They adopted me when I was a baby, and we came to these flats. You want to see a picture?”

She fished a crumpled, ragged photograph from her pocket, and pushed it across the ground to Jakob. He blinked, overcome by a whirlwind of tears rushing around his head. They were so happy looking, almost like his own family. And everything had gone wrong. The photo only showed two children sitting on their parents’ knees, one clutching a small green teddy bear, the other waving at the camera. And yet, it was the contrast between Crystal then, and the girl beside him, that rattled Jakob until he was ready to be sick. It couldn’t have been taken any more than two years before, but she was barely recognisable.

“That’s us” Crystal told him, “Mum, Dad, me and Will. They adopted him too, when I was four. I was seven when they left with the others. I’m not surprised, I wish I could leave. It’s dead creepy here at night, when you hear him moaning”

Her explanation, which was mumbled and rushed, did nothing to reassure Jakob. In fact, it gave him even more questions, which looked likely to remain unanswered. Hear who moaning? Why did they leave her?

“That man” Crystal continued, “The man in the papers, he died here. They found him dead in his flat a year ago, and everyone left. They said the estate was haunted, and a few kids got possessed. So everybody moved away, and they left me behind.”

Jakob was still confused. If they were such a happy family, why didn’t she go with them?

What parents would leave their daughter in a supposedly haunted building to die?

“They didn’t take me with them” Crystal said, “Because they thought I did it. The whole world thinks I killed Mr Badger. I didn’t Jakob, I swear I didn’t. He was a nice old man; I used to go up to his flat sometimes. He bought me and Will selection boxes every Christmas, and he took us to school sometimes. I didn’t kill him Jakob.”

For some reason, he believed her. It was that connection again, the feeling that they had something in common. It was bizarre; Jakob had never even felt like that with Joey, probably because they spent all their time arguing. He resolved to try harder with his brother; after all, Crystal had lost hers in a matter of minutes. She would probably never see Will again.

“What about your real parents” he suggested, “We could try to find them, I’ll help you. Maybe they’ll look after you, and they could try to find Will”

Crystal looked at him reproachfully.

“I don’t know anything about them” she sighed, close to tears, “I can’t remember them, they gave me away when I was a baby. Where are we supposed to start looking?”

Jakob refused to give up.

“I think there are places you can try to find your family” he said, “I’ll look it up on the computer at home. Don’t you know anything about them; did your adopted mum and dad not tell you anything?”

Crystal’s face brightened, as she dug in her pockets once again. Everything became silent, almost although the world knew that something huge was about to take place. The entire planet seemed to stand still, every argument and congratulation unvoiced, in quiet respect for the two tiny figures alone in the wreckage, about to discover something that would change their lives. She found another photo, and smiled at it. It was a sad smile, perhaps acknowledging the fact that whoever it was would never be in her life again.

“That’s my real Mum” she whispered, “She left the picture for them to give me. It’s weird Jakob; she looks more like you than me”

She handed it to him face down, so he couldn’t see her mother’s face at first. Something deep within him was telling him not to look at it, that it would only make things worse. But he told himself not to be stupid, that a photograph couldn’t harm him, it wasn’t going to come to life and eat him. Unfortunately, it could do far worse. He turned it over, and stared at it for a moment, his hands shaking inside their gloves, his face burning. He’d had good reason to feel connected to Crystal. The picture seemed to imprint itself in his mind, dancing before him even when he squeezed his eyes tight shut. The woman in the picture looked so familiar it hit him like a double-decker bus. The world, which had been so still for those few seconds, suddenly started spinning again, so that Jakob was sick over his school uniform.

She was the same woman that had dropped him off that morning.

The woman who had questioned him about the carrier bags.

The woman, who had looked after him all his life, had been keeping this secret.

Crystal was his sister, Adrienne was her mother.

Everything had changed.

“I’ve got to go” he garbled, “I’ll see you later right?"

“Where have you been?” Adrienne screamed, the moment he got through the door, “I went into the school when you never came to the gate, and Miss Marks said you’d been acting odd all day. She said you were on another planet, so tell us what’s going on”

Jakob stared at the ground, feeling his inside swirl slowly.

“I was just…playing” he muttered, to choked up to answer properly

There was a snort from the living room, indicating that Joey was relishing him getting into trouble. For a moment, Jakob considered running in there and having it out with him, but he was so confused and disorientated, he wasn’t sure which way was up, never mind where the lounge was. And he still had to explain to his mum, even though he wasn’t sure what to think of her.

“Where’s my Dad?” he asked tearfully

Adrienne flicked him gently on the nose.

“Out looking for you, you little clown” she said, her face softening, “What’s up, there’s nothing really wrong is there?”

Jakob shook his head, water dripping from his nose.

“No” he lied, “Sorry I was late. I’ll…erm…go and get changed”

He tore up the stairs, stumbling in a fog of confusion and misery. He had a sister he’d known nothing about, and he was the only person who could do anything about it. Obviously his mum knew, but did his dad? Crystal didn’t exactly look like Adrienne, or Billie Joe. She looked more like Jakob, who looked nothing like either of them. It made his head swim, as he tried to figure out what to do next. He could hardly rush downstairs and ask Adrienne outright, yet he’d been warned about ruining his dad’s time at home. That was something else to think about, was Crystal his dads kid as well? Families could be so complicated, like Laurel Weir at school, whose mum lived with another woman, had three ex husbands, all of whom had children with a few different people. Jakob had always thought that the only problem with this would be a Christmas, as there wouldn’t be enough room in the oven for a big enough turkey, or enough room under the tree for all those presents. Laurel was pretty much ignored at Kingsbury; her world was so dark and dangerous that nobody wanted to be sucked into it. Only Jakob felt like he was falling down a long tunnel into her reality, and there would be no one to catch him at the other side.