The Psychos Are Coming
Three At Once
Oooh… Three customers at once. This is going to be difficult. Still well I’m not the only psychiatrist here. Evelyn, my good colleague, will join me on this session.
Oh yeah… I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Dana and as you may know now, I’m a psychiatrist.
“Dana! Dana! They’ll be here in two hours!” I heard Evelyn shouting.
“OK!” I had enough time to get some coffee. I’m really interested in these customers. They haven’t told me a lot about them, not even their names. Evelyn soon joined me with her own cup of coffee.
“What do you think these customers will be like?” she asked. “We only know they’re all male, are over 30 years old and friends. Their state shouldn’t be threatening, but they have some attacks sometimes, as they say. Two of them have panic attacks, and one of them is ill on the heart. Do we know anything else?” She looked at me questionably.
We sat some time in silence, expecting. Then we heard the call from the secretary. “Doctors, they’re coming!”
Evelyn started to bite her lip. We usually know more things about the patients, but this time they didn’t want to tell us more. They had some reasons unknown to us. Evelyn started to fix her brow hair and – as usual – she put on her face the most stupid smile she could. She removed her fallen hair off of her white clothes. Then she started fixing her earrings. Oh my, here we are. Her earrings. She tries to cover them with her long hair when she’s working, but at home she makes a ponytail so everyone can see her white skull earrings. That’s what she’s like.
I heard the secretary talking with someone. She soon came into the office and said: “Your customers are here.” she looked very excited; I was wondering why.
When Evelyn and I stepped into the reception room I couldn’t believed my eyes. In front of us were standing three persons we knew a lot about them. I bulged my eyes because I still couldn’t believe Green Day were standing in front of me. Adrienne was standing next to Billie Joe, telling him how happy she is for him to go here. Mike’s wife, Brittany, was also saying goodbye to his husband. Tre was standing all alone. I guess he didn’t have a girlfriend or wife.
I was little confused, but Evelyn controlled the situation. She quickly greeted everyone. I still couldn’t believe Green Day actually needed help from psychiatrists.
When Mike’s and Billie’s wives almost left I quickly stopped them. “You know, it would be very desired if you would attend this conversation,” I said to them. Evelyn silently nodded and led all three patients, Adie and Brittany in conversation room.
She started the conversation. “So, I’d like to talk about what do we want to achieve with this treatment. What are the symptoms?”
Adrienne looked at her with wonder. “They didn’t tell you a thing?”
I shook my head. “Only some basic stuff, but they didn’t want to tell us the symptoms.”
“So it would be great if we could know them, so we could treat our patients suitably.”
I smiled. Evelyn can be so professional…
Adrienne started first. “Well, my husband… masturbates in public…” Evelyn hardly holded back her laughter. “And… he’s obsessed with… khm…” she obviously didn’t want to tell everything in front of so many people, any I knew what she thought, so I nodded.
Brittany continued. “My Mike… hm… how should I tell it nicely…” she blushed a little. “He behaves horribly in public. He once… He once threw his own…” she continued quietly, “shit from his balcony in the hotel…”
Evelyn now holded back her laughter even hardly. She giggled like a school girl.
“And what about you, mister… eem…”
“Cool. Call me Tre,” he said.
“Well, Tre, what have you done?” I asked.
“Well, I once ran around naked… and I was bored once so I drew a dick on myself and ran around with that… I even wore my pants then.” he grinned at his own story-telling. Billie and Mike burst into laughter, and so did Evelyn. Adie and Brittany remained silent.
“EVELYN!” I shouted to my colleague.
“Is it forbidden to laugh?” looked Evelyn at me. I smiled. Adie and Brittany smiled, too. Billie and Mike laughed even more, and suddenly we were all laughing our heads off.
Evelyn calmed down a little bit. “Well, em, maybe we laughed enough?” But then everyone laughed even more.
I calmed a little bit, too. “Seriously, thi is not laughing training! If you came be at least little more serious!”
Adrienne and Brittany calmed, too, but the boys were still laughing. Slowly, the laughter died away.
“So,” I said, “can we finally begin?”
Oh yeah… I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Dana and as you may know now, I’m a psychiatrist.
“Dana! Dana! They’ll be here in two hours!” I heard Evelyn shouting.
“OK!” I had enough time to get some coffee. I’m really interested in these customers. They haven’t told me a lot about them, not even their names. Evelyn soon joined me with her own cup of coffee.
“What do you think these customers will be like?” she asked. “We only know they’re all male, are over 30 years old and friends. Their state shouldn’t be threatening, but they have some attacks sometimes, as they say. Two of them have panic attacks, and one of them is ill on the heart. Do we know anything else?” She looked at me questionably.
We sat some time in silence, expecting. Then we heard the call from the secretary. “Doctors, they’re coming!”
Evelyn started to bite her lip. We usually know more things about the patients, but this time they didn’t want to tell us more. They had some reasons unknown to us. Evelyn started to fix her brow hair and – as usual – she put on her face the most stupid smile she could. She removed her fallen hair off of her white clothes. Then she started fixing her earrings. Oh my, here we are. Her earrings. She tries to cover them with her long hair when she’s working, but at home she makes a ponytail so everyone can see her white skull earrings. That’s what she’s like.
I heard the secretary talking with someone. She soon came into the office and said: “Your customers are here.” she looked very excited; I was wondering why.
When Evelyn and I stepped into the reception room I couldn’t believed my eyes. In front of us were standing three persons we knew a lot about them. I bulged my eyes because I still couldn’t believe Green Day were standing in front of me. Adrienne was standing next to Billie Joe, telling him how happy she is for him to go here. Mike’s wife, Brittany, was also saying goodbye to his husband. Tre was standing all alone. I guess he didn’t have a girlfriend or wife.
I was little confused, but Evelyn controlled the situation. She quickly greeted everyone. I still couldn’t believe Green Day actually needed help from psychiatrists.
When Mike’s and Billie’s wives almost left I quickly stopped them. “You know, it would be very desired if you would attend this conversation,” I said to them. Evelyn silently nodded and led all three patients, Adie and Brittany in conversation room.
She started the conversation. “So, I’d like to talk about what do we want to achieve with this treatment. What are the symptoms?”
Adrienne looked at her with wonder. “They didn’t tell you a thing?”
I shook my head. “Only some basic stuff, but they didn’t want to tell us the symptoms.”
“So it would be great if we could know them, so we could treat our patients suitably.”
I smiled. Evelyn can be so professional…
Adrienne started first. “Well, my husband… masturbates in public…” Evelyn hardly holded back her laughter. “And… he’s obsessed with… khm…” she obviously didn’t want to tell everything in front of so many people, any I knew what she thought, so I nodded.
Brittany continued. “My Mike… hm… how should I tell it nicely…” she blushed a little. “He behaves horribly in public. He once… He once threw his own…” she continued quietly, “shit from his balcony in the hotel…”
Evelyn now holded back her laughter even hardly. She giggled like a school girl.
“And what about you, mister… eem…”
“Cool. Call me Tre,” he said.
“Well, Tre, what have you done?” I asked.
“Well, I once ran around naked… and I was bored once so I drew a dick on myself and ran around with that… I even wore my pants then.” he grinned at his own story-telling. Billie and Mike burst into laughter, and so did Evelyn. Adie and Brittany remained silent.
“EVELYN!” I shouted to my colleague.
“Is it forbidden to laugh?” looked Evelyn at me. I smiled. Adie and Brittany smiled, too. Billie and Mike laughed even more, and suddenly we were all laughing our heads off.
Evelyn calmed down a little bit. “Well, em, maybe we laughed enough?” But then everyone laughed even more.
I calmed a little bit, too. “Seriously, thi is not laughing training! If you came be at least little more serious!”
Adrienne and Brittany calmed, too, but the boys were still laughing. Slowly, the laughter died away.
“So,” I said, “can we finally begin?”