Shut Your Mouth and Get Down on the Floor

I stared outside of the window, in the front seat of my mom's car.

"Mae?" she said softly.

"Yeah, mom?" I turned to look at her.

"You know, I was young too when I first married. Your father is a good man. I don't want you to doubt anything just because you're young," she explained.

I just nodded absentmindedly, staring out the window again.

I was trying not to think about anything. If I thought about something, I'd think about the wedding, I'd think about Devin, I'd think about Gabe. So I didn't think about anything.

That morning I'd had such a terrible hangover. Mom came over at ten to take me to get my hair done. I'd tried to hide it from her. I'd taken so much asprin to try and get rid of the headache, but it was ever present.

I played with a perfect little ringlet as I stared out the window. It was a gorgeous day out. Beautiful wedding days make sad marriages but I was going to try and be optimistic.

The car finally came to a stop at the church on the outskirts of the city. So much for a wedding in Central Park. Hell that would have cost a lot, who was I kidding?

I was rushed into one of the changing rooms downstairs where all my maids where, giggling to themselves. Oh wedding bliss, it made everyone giddy.

I stared at my dress for a moment or two and tears came to my eyes. I was getting married. I was getting married.

I wanted Devin there to reassure me, to comfort me, but everyone knows it's bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding.

All the maids left, except for Vee, and she helped me change into my dress.

"So how was last night?" she asked, making sure no one was around.

"It was stressful," I sighed as she zipped it up.

She spun me around and looked at me, tears coming to her eyes. "You know I always thought me and Jake would get married before you two, but I guess you beat us to it."

I smiled.

"You look beautiful, honey. Dress and makeup and hair and everything."

"Thanks," I brightened up and hugged her tight. "Vee, I'm afraid."

"Everyone gets pre-wedding jitters. It's okay, Devin was nervous too," she explained.

"He was?!" I was surprised. Maybe I wasn't insane.

She laughed. "Yeah, Jake told me. He's feeling the same way you are. Everyone feels this way on their wedding day, seriously."

I nodded and exhaled. "I can do this."

She smiled. "Well I'm going to go get the rest of the girls, alright?"

"Okay," I smiled.

In a moment or two the rush of girls all dressed in the pretty teal dresses I'd picked out came in the room.

Some were friends from work, friends from college, friends from high school even. They gave me encouraging words, none of which I remember, and then we all huddled together.

We grabbed hands in our little circle and Vee began to speak.

"Today is a big day for our friend Mae. She's found the man of her dreams, her soul mate in every way. Today she'll be married to Devin, joined to him in love and name. She's known she'd be with him forever since she first met him back in college. I remember the day they met, she was so excited that he asked her out. She told me 'Vee, he's the one, he's the one,' and when I met him I truly believed her. If ever a person could fit my best friend here, it's Devin," she explained.

With each word I felt like another bullet was being shot into my body. Every word was lies. Sure, what happened in the past was real, but it was in the past.

My mom peaked her head in and told everyone it was time to line up. I heard the organ playing above. The ceremony was beginning. In an hour, maybe less, I'd be married to Devin, joined to him in love and name. Forever.

The maids all left the room. Vee left last, giving me a pat on the back.

"C'mon," she said, standing at the door. I'd be entering the church after her and the best man.

My breath was caught in my throat. I shook my head slowly.

"Honey, what's wrong? It's okay," she grabbed my hand. She thought I was just nervous.

"No, Vee," I started to tear up and I pulled my hand from hers.

And then I'd made my decision. At that moment I did what my heart told me to.

I ran.