Backstabber

All these things were rushing in my mind. Brendon. Lena. and Ryan. And how his lips were a centimeter apart from mine. I wasn't sure what to do. Kiss him, or say no.

I was vulnerable right now, that was deffinite. But this felt weird. It wouldn't help if I kissed him, or maybe it would. Maybe it would help tell if I was stupid for choosing Brendon that meer 3 years ago. When I was suppose to go out with Ryan that night to see a movie when instead I was stopped by Brendon at my doorstep and where he told me he couldn't stand living another day without kissing me. And that kiss changed everything. It led Brendon and I upstairs where everything kind of laid out.

Ryan stayed where he was, I was the one who had the next move. I took a deep breah through my nose and moved my face in closer and I felt his lips on mine softly. I felt my heart beat faster and that slight ache occured, the kind that makes you feel sick but you don't want it to stop because you know that you like it. He put his hand gently on my shoulder as our kiss ever so slowly deepened. I know Ryan wouldn't take me very far, and maybe I liked that fact. I liked how I felt comfortable around Ryan to be vulnerable, to not put all my makeup on, to let my hair be wavy, to eat junk food and not have to worry that he's thinking im a pig because he's next to me pigging out just as much.

I leaned into the kiss a bit more and when I felt that I could kiss him for hours on end there was a knock on the door. I jumped back and Ryan smiled at me.

"Remember where we were," he said and jumped up off the couch and walked to the door. He opened it up. "What the hell are you doing here?" he snapped. Two people would get that greeting; Brendon, and Lena.

"I came to talk to Ashlee,"

"She's not here."

"Then why the hell is her car parked in your driveway?"

"She doesn't want to talk to you, Lena. And neither do I." he said going to close the door but she pushed against it and Ryan wasn't really prepared for that so the door swung open, Ryan almost fell over and Lena walked in the room.

"Ashlee, we need to talk."

I averted my eyes from her and stared at the carpet.

"Ashlee doesn't want to talk to a dirty scum bag, try again later." he snapped. I sighed and stood up.

"You have 5 minutes." I said. Lena nodded and I followed her outside and we sat on the front steps.

"Ashlee...I'm so sorry...I don't know how this started....and when I thought it was going to end I got kicked out and then I was with Brendon so many hours and things came over us and--"

"Save the pity party, Lena."

"I just want to say that right now Brendon is freaking out, trying to figure out where you are and I know...he loves you. More then anything in the whole world and he feels so tremendously bad for ever cheating on you."

I stared down at my left hand as I moved the diamond around my ring finger slowly. And then, I slowly pulled it off of my finger and took Lena's hand opened it up and dropped the ring in her hand then closed up her fingers.

"Tell Brendon...I made a mistake when I let him in my house that night." I nodded, stood up and walked back into the house. Ryan looked up at me and cocked his head. I gave him a smile and took a seat on his lap. He looked down at my hand.

"Where is it?"

"With it's rightful owner." I smirked.

Ryan cupped my face with his hands, wiping off the smeared eyeliner from under my eyes as he pulled my face into his and gave me the most slow and gentle kiss.