You're the Voice Inside My Head

Alex is remarkable! I can’t get our kiss out of my mind; I don’t want to either. Maybe I was giving this more meaning than what it really deserves. Who knows Alex could have had a drink or two; it might have been some bet. All I know is how I’m feeling right now can’t add up to anything in the world; I never want this feeling to go away. Thoughts of him and how he held me last night were running through my mind. I don’t know if it’s right but I know I’m crazy about him. There could be a million people in a room counting him and he’d be the only one visible to me.

I looked to the floor to see none other than Cristal and Jasmine’s bodies lying there off in dream mode. I looked towards the clock and read 2:24pm. I threw a pillow at Cristal and Jasmine to wake them up.

“Aw c’mon 10 more minuets!” Jasmine whined.

“Don’t think so get your butts up.” I said.

I threw another pillow at Cristal because she hadn’t moved from the first one.

“Ah who threw that?” Cristal said hiding her face in the blankets.

“Guilty as charged. Now c’mon we should do something today guys; it’s hell tomorrow.” I whined.

I saw Cristal and Jasmine’s bodies slowly rise from the floor in a wobbly standing position.

“Yay!” I screamed.

Cristal turned to me and threw the pillow back at me; harshly might I add.

“Cristal’s a meany head.” I said sticking my tongue out.

~Alex’s P.O.V~

Waking up to Jack’s ass in my face wasn’t pleasant. I moved away; maybe a little too much. I fell right onto a pile of Jack’s clothes. For my sake I hope they’re clean but who knows this is Jack’s room after all.

“Jacky-boo wake up!” I semi yelled into Jack’s face.

“Alex what the hell…you’re in a good mood. You only make up creepy pet names for me when you’re all happy” Jack said rubbing his eyes.

“Well I don’t know; I’m just happy. Do you have to hate on me?” I said pouting.

“Aw no I’m not hating man; just wondering…” Jack said.

“Well I’m going to go rub myself all over in your shower” I said rubbing my chest.

Jack just laughed at started playing video games.

“Now might be a good time to call your lover so I don’t have to hear it” I said then ran out of his room.

When I got in the shower I started thinking of the party last night. I couldn’t believe I actually asked Renae to dance then I kissed her. I doubt it means anything to her; who knows. “Is it so wrong I’m thinking about Renae while in the shower?” I thought to myself as a smirk came to my lips. I don’t know what it is about her that draws me toward her. Maybe it’s the fact that she comes off shy and mysterious because she’s always with Cristal and Jasmine and doesn’t talk much but has that beautiful seductive smile. I could stare at her smile all day.

“Hey sexy” I heard a voice come from behind the shower curtain.

“…Who are you?” I said.

“Renae silly, I want you I need you oh baby oh baby” I heard laughter from a bad girl impression turn into a familiar laugh.

I poked my head out of the curtain to see Zack holding his stomach laughing “get out of here you idiot.” I said as I threw a bar of soap at him.

I wonder where he’s going with this. Does he know I kissed her or is he just messing around? Zack left the bathroom and I started getting dressed. I went back in Jack’s room; Jack was still in the same spot playing video games only this time on the phone too.

Jack turned towards me; pausing his video game. “Aleeeex.” He said like he was up to something. I just stared at him looking confused.

“Alex I’m talking to Jasmine and guess where she is?” he said.

“Not here.” I said.

He stuck his tongue out at me “that wasn’t fair maybe I should make arrangements, but anyways she’s at Renae's house” he gave me a wink.

Hearing her name sort of made my heart skip a beat but how could I tell Jack I think I really like her? I need to get to know her more than just a cute shy girl who I kissed and danced with. I started remembering the first day we all hang out; that was a great day. I sat on Jack’s bed ignoring him on the phone; thinking of that day. I remember how she was so shy then her friends embarrassed her and I got her to sit on my lap. I think I liked that a little too much; but I didn't care. She leaves me eager to learn more and to be close to her again like last night.

“What are you smiling at Mr. Horn dog?” Jack said laughing at me while on the phone.

“N-nothing. You should ask them if they want to hang out today. We can call Will and the others too.” I said.

“Good idea!” Jack said. He asked Jasmine if she wanted to and by the sounds the plan is a go.

~Back to Renae’s P.O.V~

“Jasmine’s talking to her lover boy” Cristal mocked as she danced around my room.

“Shut up!” Jasmine whined. Then Jasmine’s eyes got all excited looking and she kept smiling.

“Jasmine please don’t tell me he’s begging for sex?” I said.

Everyone laughed then Jasmine said “no, but do you two want to go hang out with the guys?” My heart started racing and I could tell I was getting red in the face.

“Lookie lookie Jasmine, Renae’s getting red! I know who she’s thinking about.” Cristal pointed at me giggling.

“Shut up you guys! I um don’t care if we hang out with them.” I said nervously.

“Of course you don’t” Cristal said jokingly.

“We’d love to hang out, just name a time and place.” Jasmine said talking to Jack.

Jasmine said “okay see you soon” to Jack then hung up.

Cristal and I looked at each other then over to Jasmine.

“Well what’s going on?” I said to Jasmine.

“We’re meeting them at the school play ground again. We got to be there at 5:00pm so we have like 1 hour tops. Hurry and beautify yourselves everyone!”

We ran all over my room; I was picking through my clothes throwing unwanted pieces of clothing out of my way. Cristal was going through her mounds of clothing that she had in her backpack; same with Jasmine.

I got on my black Smashing Pumpkins shirt and my white skinny jeans and put on my black flats. Cristal put on her blue and black stripped tank top and her black skinny jeans with her black flats. As for Jasmine she put on her pink Hello Kitty shirt with pink skinny jeans and black flats. We all put on eyeliner and straightened our hair and headed out my door.

It’s normal for the three of us to act like the true freaks we are when we wonder around in public spaces. We went to a near by store and bought two big bags of balloons. We went to the town fountain to fill them up then we carried them in our hands. Yeah that’s a lot of balloons if I do say so; we climbed a roof to an old shack and threw them at people and cars walking and driving by. Jasmine even hit a bicycler; he fell off and we almost peed ourselves with laughter.

Cristal and Jasmine started acting like they were in a fist fight right in front of passing cars and people. I started screaming “stranger danger!” some dude came out of his house and we ran for it. It was funny though; just thinking what he was planning on doing.

After that we went back to the same store where we bought balloons and I bought a bike horn. I started beeping the horn randomly without stopping. Then I got a better idea. I stood next to the road with my arm out as a turning signal beeping my horn. I looked back to Jasmine and Cristal falling to the ground with laughter. Then I went back over towards them and started walking backwards and beeping. Then I ran into something; I turned around to see Alex standing right in front of me. H-he saw me being a retard, this is so embarrassing. My face instantly turned red with embarrassment. I dropped the bike horn, turned around, and ran down the next street and dove into a bush hoping they wouldn’t find me.

He must think I’m a complete freak; who wouldn’t? I know hoping he’ll forget this won’t happen because if I saw someone I knew doing what I was it would be glued to my brain. “I’m so running to my aunt’s house and staying there until tomorrow, I can’t show my face, everyone else can hang and I’ll just skip out.” I was thinking to myself. I knew that’s what I was going to do as soon as the coast was clear; I’d take short cuts there avoiding being to out in the open.

“Renae?! Where are you?” I heard a familiar voice known as Cristal call out to me. I sure as hell wasn’t going to answer her; she sounded close.

“C’mon Renae, who cares if um everyone saw you doing that! It’s no big deal, just come out.” Jasmine tried making it sound easier than it was. Also what the hell? I didn’t know everyone saw me, like I said no matter who’s around when Alex is there he’s all I can see. Now this is even worse; everyone knows I’m no longer shy as I come off to be. I liked being known as the shy one in this case but there goes that.

I must have been waiting in these bushes 20 minuets before everyone left. I got up slowly and ran to my aunt’s house without looking back. I liked going to my aunt’s anyhow; we were close so I felt comfortable around her. I even have my own room there with a flat roof right out my window; I like spending a lot of my time there. When ever I needed to get away from my house I was always welcome at my aunt’s it was great.

When I finally got to my aunts I ran to open the door and got inside quickly.

“Renae, what a pleasant surprise. Are you alright sweetie?” my aunt asked.

I smiled and said “well yeah I’m okay; just extremely embarrassed. I was out with Cristal and Jasmine being a freak like we usually do and I had a bike horn and I was pretending to cross the road and I started backing up while beeping then I ran directly into the face of this boy I’m crazy about, then ran down the next closest street, dove into a bush, and hid there for about 20 minuets.” I was very open with my aunt so it’s no surprise I tell her exact details.

“Wow. Teenage life seems a lot more hectic the way you put it.” She said.

“Yeah, so do you think I could hide my face here for the night? I can have mom bring me my school stuff and clothes. I can also walk to school in the morning.” I pleaded.

“Of course, you know you’re always welcome here anytime of the day. I’ll bring you to school tomorrow so don’t worry about that.” She smiled at me.

“Thanks, you’re the best!” I hugged her and went upstairs.

When I got to my room I opened the door and flung my body onto the bed and just laid there. I wonder what everyone else is doing right now; probably laughing at me still. I got up, grabbed a blanket, opened the window, and went on the roof. I sat there and watched the sunset; it’s beautiful in my opinion. Tomorrow is going to be hell; not that school wasn’t already hell to begin with.

“Renae, your moms here with your stuff for tomorrow!” my aunt called up the stairs to me.

I walked downstairs hugged and thanked my mom, said goodnight to them, then went back upstairs. I shut my window and set my alarm clock. I got into my pajamas and crawled into bed.

*ring, ring, ring*

I flung my hand over to shut my alarm off. It wasn’t what I’d want to wake up to but at least it woke me up. I went in the bathroom across the hall, brushed my teeth, took a shower, got dressed, and then brushed my hair. I went back in my room to get my eyeliner; then put it on. I gathered my school books into my backpack and went downstairs.

“Good morning sweetie.” My aunt said.

“Good morning.” I said in return.

“Do you want something for breakfast?” she asked.

“No thanks; not really hungry” I said.

“Well if you’re ready I’ll bring you to school now.” She offered.

“Yeah okay; let’s go then” I said.

We both headed out the door and got into her car. School was only a half a mile away from her house so it was hardly a drive but oh well. The car pulled to a stop right in front of the hell hole itself.

“Try to have a good day.” She said smiling.

“Thanks for the ride.” I said.

I got out and headed towards the building. Avoiding everyone is impossible; I’m going to run into just about everyone today. I can’t make up an excuse; everyone knows why I ran off like I did…because it was embarrassing. I walked up to my locker and sure enough there was Jasmine; just like every morning. I sighed and continued walking towards my locker.

“Renae! I was worried.” she ran up and hugged me.

I smiled and turned to my locker and put my bag in it the got books I needed.

“C’mon you’re not still upset about last night are you? I know it had to of been embarrassing but if you were to stay it wasn’t that bad.” She said.

I shut my locker and sighed “I made a fool out of myself in front of Alex and everyone else. I’m no longer going to be known as the shy girl.”

“Seriously if you’d let me talk it wouldn’t have been so bad. In fact Alex was worried when we couldn’t find you. He laughed at first but who wouldn’t? He was more surprised than anything though. Like you said he didn’t think you’re the kind of person who’s outgoing like that. Now he knows you better; which is good. As soon as you ran off and disappeared we were all looking for you. I’m guessing you could have heard Cristal and me yelling to you. Alex looked worried and everyone knew he was; you should know he doesn’t think lower of you.” She said.

“…I don’t know what to say. Well besides that I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say so much at once but wow…Alex was worried when I ran off? That’s something I least expected.” I said.

She smiled a little. “I know, well anyways they’re coming over here.”

Oh great! Facing this so early off wasn’t what I wanted. I couldn’t look up; the floor had my attention. I was too ashamed to look up; it’s a big deal to me. I’m not the one who does that in front of guys.

“Renae, you’re alive!” Jack said. I tried to smile but I didn’t look up.

“I was wondering when I was going to see you again.” Alex said smiling.

I couldn’t help but look up; to see him staring at me. I simply just smiled.

“Listen, I know you were embarrassed but I think what you did was one of the funniest things” Alex said. Our eyes met, and then he turned around and walked off.

“I’ll see you later hot stuff” Jack said winking at Jasmine as she giggled.

*ring, ring, ring*

“Time for class let’s go.” I said.

My day from there on didn’t go as bad as I figured it would of. I ran into Chizzy and he just smiled, laughed and said I shouldn’t be embarrassed. No one really did care how I acted last night; why did I make such a big deal of it.

My last class of the day was always boring. But Jack usually had something to say to make it a little more pleasant. This time we were in sex-ed; everyone knew all of this already so why did they have to teach it to us again this year?

“Any questions?” the teacher asked.

One hand popped up; none other than Jack’s.

“Yes?” she said.

“Where do babies come from?” he said trying to be serious.

Everyone started laughing their asses off. Jack was known to bring entertainment into the last class. He could always put a smile on anyone’s face; it’s his gift.