You're the Voice Inside My Head

At this very moment I’m brushing my hair repeatedly and nervously. The thing with being around Alex was I never knew quiet what to expect he wasn’t very predictable. I was now biting my nails continuously thinking of what to do. Okay I need to get down there before he thinks I’m avoiding him there’s no time for me to spend guessing out the whole evening.

I started down the stairs nearly losing my balance and falling down the stairs; how embarrassing that would be. I made it down the stairs in one piece without making a fool of myself and was some what surprised but proud of myself. I walked myself into the living room and glanced at the couch where Alex’s body once was. Damn myself he left I knew I was boring him.

“There you are.” Alex’s voice startled me and caused me to jump. “Jumpy much?” he jokingly teased me.

“It’s not my fault! I didn’t even hear you behind me.” I said.

“Sure you didn’t, you just wanted to act surprised to act cute.” He said.

“You give me too much credit.” I claimed.

“You don’t have to act.” He grinned at me.

“Wait what?” I was confused now.

“You don’t have to act cute; you already are.” He was still grinning at me.

Now blushing I was having trouble thinking of something to say. “So um what do you want to do?” I asked.

“Want to watch a movie?” He suggested.

“Peter Pan!” I yelled.

We both started laughing. He agreed and offered to make popcorn while I got the movie set up. I was walking into the living room when Alex stopped me with his words.

“What are you doing?” He questioned.

“…putting the movie in?” I answered/questioned.

“Oh…I thought it’d be better in your room.” He said.

He hadn’t been in my room so how would he know? I just went along with it anyways because my hormones reacted before my brain could. I agreed to bring the movie upstairs and set it up while he waited for the popcorn. I started up the stairs and half way up I tripped over my own feet. I fell on my face which hurt more than normally thanks to my bruise; I’d forgotten it was there. I picked myself up not wanting Alex to see me lying on the stairs and ran to my room.

I was now in my room putting Peter Pan in the DVD player. I realized I had no couch in my room at that the television was at the end of my bed. This meant we’d be sitting on the bed. Was this why he wanted to watch it in my room? I doubted that’s why he was eager to be in here but what other answer was there?

“Is it ready?” Alex startled me again. “I repeat jumpy much?” he laughed sitting on my bed with a bowl of popcorn in hand.

“I only jumped because I was thinking and didn’t expect you.” I said, wishing I worded that differently.

“Thinking? Hm what were you thinking about?” He was curious.

“…Do you really want to know?” I wasn’t sure why exactly I was about to tell him what was just on my mind but he had this weird control over me.

“Yes.” He answered.

“I was wondering why you wanted to watch the movie in my room after I realized I didn’t have a couch in here.” I bit my lip.

“Ha ha you’ve got a dirty mind Renae.” He laughed

I didn’t know what to say yet again so I told him we should watch the movie now.

“Can I sit on the bed with you? Or is that going to make your hormones kick in?” He teased; which he did often.

“Too late.” I giggled and that made him smile.

He climbed into my bed and under the covers with me as I hit the play button. I felt like a little kid as Peter Pan was playing. I started laughing when they called Indians Injins which caused Alex to stare at me.

“Did I do something?” I questioned looking back at him.

“No I couldn’t help it but I find your laughter intriguing.” He started grinning again.

I blushed and looked back at the television screen.

“Renae…” He asked.

I looked back at him.

“Do you like me?” He wondered.

“If I didn’t you wouldn’t be here.” I answered.

“N-not like that. I mean do you really like me?” He looked as if he blushed a little.

I looked away thinking of what to say; which was hard because my heart rate just increased tremendously.

“…I understand if you d-“ I cut him off.

“It’s not that I don’t like you. You see it’s the complete opposite.” I paused for a moment. “I’m utterly in love with you.” I was now completely red in the face region; damn him he always gets me to confess myself to him.

His head seemed to jerk up and his expression seemed more than pleased. “And this whole time I thought you were just nice and embarrassed easily.” He smiled.

“Well you got the last part right.” I laughed.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” he said calmly as if he knew my answer already.

Those words must have unglued my brain because I fell right off the bed.

Alex leaned over the bed and looked down at me. “You okay?” he asked.

“..Y-yeah I’m good.” I sputtered trying to get up off the floor. God this was embarrassing. “Well I say hell yes to your offer if it’s still open?” I wondered.

“Of course!” He smiled huge and embraced me on the bed.

This is officially marked as the best day in my life. I never would have thought I’d be going out with Alex in a million year or be cuddling him on my bed.

“Renae?” I heard an unwanted familiar voice call to me.

“Oh shit! Alex that’s my mom…she’ll kill me if she knows I had a boy in my room while she was gone.” I whispered.

Alex panicked “I’ll just climb out your window and call you later.” He said.

Before I knew it Alex was already out my window and running down the street.

“Hey honey” my mom said smiling as she entered my room.

“..Hi” I sounded disappointed.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

“Um no sorry I’m just tired.” I lied.

“Oh well you should go to bed earlier tonight then an-“ She stopped talking and sounded scared and worried. “Oh my goodness what happened to your face?!” she practically yelled.

“Some guys were throwing a football around after school and it hit me in the face.” I lied; I didn’t like lying to her but I didn’t want her knowing that David abused me.

“My you have to be more careful where you’re walking; put some ice on it so the swelling goes down.” She said.

“Yeah I know, okay I will.” I promised.

I walked downstairs and got an icepack out of the freezer to put on my face. The phone started ringing and my dad got up to answer it. I ran to the phone “It’s probably for me anyways.” I said.

He shrugged his shoulders and went back to sit down in front of the television. I picked up the phone and my voice was excited “Hello?” I answered.

“Hey baby.” I recognized the voice to be Alex.

“Hiii!” I might have sounded a little too excited.

He chuckled “someone sounds happy to hear my voice.”

“You could say so.” I was smiling

“Want to hang out tomorrow after school? People can join I don’t care. I just want to hang out with you.” He announced.

“Sounds awesome, I’m up for it.” I said happily.

“How’s your face?” He sounded concerned.

“Oh it doesn’t hurt anymore, my mom had me put ice on it.” I said.

“What are you going to say if people ask you about it tomorrow?” He questioned.

“After school guys were throwing a football around and it hit me in the face.” I said.

Alex laughed “seems believable.”

“Are you done teasing me?” I asked.

“Sorry I couldn’t help it.” He chuckled.

“I forgive you.” I started smiling again.

“Who are you talking to?” my mom asked me.

“Stop listening to me!” I yelled at her.

I ran upstairs and took the phone with me.

“Um.” Alex sounded confused.

“Sorry my mom was listening to what I was saying and asked who I was talking to.” I responded.

“And you didn’t say your boyfriend?” He asked.

I giggled because I wasn’t used to those words yet “sorry but I said I’d talk to her later, I promise.”

“I was just kidding you don’t have to tell her if you don’t want to. Secrecy seems so wrong but feels right.” He chuckled.

“Alright, Alex Gaskarth you are my dirty little secret.”

“I think I like the sound of that.” He said.

I laughed “You don’t know how happy you’ve made me.” Now I was smiling uncontrollably.

“You’ve made me remarkably happy myself Renae; I wouldn’t have thought you liked me.” He admitted.

“I’ve liked you since last year ask Jasmine or Cristal. Holy crap…I forgot about them. I’m horrible. They probably wonder why I wasn’t outside at the end of the day.” Guilt was overcoming me.

“Renae; don’t blame yourself. You’ll see them tomorrow it wasn’t your fault you left early. You had to.” He tried comforting me.

I took a deep breath “yeah I guess your right. You’re comforting.”

“And you’re unbelievable.” He whispered.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Alex Gaskarth.” I whispered back.

“I’ll be waiting.” He said in return.

I went downstairs to hang the phone back up.

“Who were you talking to?” My mom asked again.

“Seriously why does it matter so much to you? I was talking to Cristal god.” I said.

“Oh well you seemed happier than usual.” She said.

“I can’t be in a good mood?” I snapped.

“I never said that, I just wanted to know why but oh well.” She said looking away.

I went back upstairs and drifted into dream mode.