Can't Live If Living Is Without You

“Welcome to New York,” the stewardess at the plane door greeted me.

I gave her a weak smile and got off the plane with my carry on bag. I looked out the airport windows and saw snow peacefully falling down and covering everything within reach. The sight of New York City was breathtaking from here. I continued weaving through the crowd and finally made it to the baggage claim.

While I was waiting for my bag to come out my phone started going off. I took it out of my hand bag and saw that it was Brian calling.

“Hello?”

“Hey babe,” Zack answered.

I rolled my eyes at his idea of calling me through Brian’s phone.

“What do you want?” I sighed and spotted my bag coming towards me on the conveyer belt.

“I was just calling to see if you made it there alright,”

“I did. Is there anything else before I go?” I asked and picked up my bag.

“No. I’ll talk to you later I guess,” he mumbled.

“Okay. Bye,”

I hung up on him and ventured out of the airport and onto the snow infested sidewalks. I quickly flagged down a cab and got in. I dusted the snow off my thick jacket and told the driver to go to the Waldorf Hotel. I looked out the window at people of every age window shopping on Main Street. My phone started ringing again and I saw that it was Nayja calling me now.

“Hello?” I answered, hoping that it was Zack calling.

“Hey Nat,” she answered.

I breathed a sigh of relief and paid the driver once he stopped outside the extravagant hotel. I grabbed my luggage and stepped out into the blistering cold. I practically ran into the hotel and shook the snow off of me.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing really. All of us are here at Matt’s just hanging out,” she explained.

“Sounds exciting,” I said and walked up to the front desk.

“Oh yeah it is. Zack’s sitting here in a bad mood and complaining how you won’t talk to him,” she huffed and I swear I heard her stomp her foot.

I rolled my eyes and the receptionist handed me my room key for the suite I called in for ahead of time. I mouthed ‘Thank You’ to her and walked towards the elevators with my luggage.

“Well he shouldn’t have over reacted like he did. Now he gets to sit there lonely and miserable for his birthday,” I said and stepped into the elevator.

“That was a bit harsh don’t you think?”

“It was but he deserves it. I’m sick of always being the bad person in arguments, it’s about time that he is,” I huffed and stepped out of the elevator.

“Okay, okay don’t stress yourself out. It’s not good for the baby,” she hurriedly said before I could get mad.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t want Junior here to come out with six fingers or eleven toes or something,” I said as I opened the door leading to my room.

Her laughter flowed through the phone and I couldn’t help but laugh at what I said either. I set my bags down in the family room and looked around the big suite that I had all to myself.

“This place is so gorgeous!” I squealed and went by the big floor to ceiling windows that looked out onto the city.

“Where are you staying?”

“At the Waldorf Hotel,” I sighed and continued looking at the snow fall outside.

“The Waldorf?!” she yelled.

“Yeah, it’s so gorgeous in just the family room. I haven’t even stepped foot in the bedroom yet,”

“Which room is it?” she asked me.

“Uh, the suite on the fifth floor,”

“Oh, the suite on the fifth floor?”

“Yeah,”

“That must be a nice room. I wish I could stay at the Waldorf Hotel in a suite on the fifth floor,” she said.

I raised an eyebrow to myself and scratched my head.

“You know Nayja, if I didn’t know any better I’d say that you were trying to tell Zack where I was staying,”

“I would never. Anyways I have to go help Matt get dinner ready,”

“Alright, talk with you later,”

“Bye,”

I hung up the phone and finally decided to go into the bedroom. I opened the door and sighed in content at the bedroom I would be staying in. I jumped on the canopy bed and immediately my eyes shut down on me from jet lag.

“Okay Ms. Montilla, you can move in whenever you’re ready,” I said to the older woman across the table from me in the small café.

“Thank you so much Mrs. Baker,” she happily said.

“No problem, I should be thanking you for buying my condo,” I smiled at her.

“Please, the place is gorgeous,” she beamed and got ready to leave.

“Alright. Well I hope everything goes alright. I’ll see you around,” I said to her.

“Bye sweetheart,” she said and walked out the café.

I continued to sit at the small table and kept drinking my hot chocolate. I gazed out the window and saw a young couple walk by hand in hand and huddled together in their winter coats. The girl looked up at the man adoringly and he lovingly kissed her. Sadness washed over me and I wanted nothing more than to go back home to Zack.

“Natalia?” someone asked.

I turned my head and saw Danny walking over. It looked like he built up some muscle and his hair grew a bit.

“Oh my gosh, Danny!” I said and stood up to hug him.

His warm arms wrapped around me and I inhaled his familiar scent. I pulled back and smiled at him.

“You look good,” I complimented him.

“So do you. I see Zack finally knocked you up,” he jokingly patted my stomach.

I slapped his hand away and playfully glared at him. He chuckled and I bit my lip.

“How’ve you been?” I asked.

“I’ve been pretty good. How about yourself?” he politely asked me.

“Alright, I just finished selling the old condo,”

“Oh really? That’s good,”

I nodded and I stuck my hands in my back pockets.

“So do you want to hang out? Catch up over some dinner?” he asked.

“Sure, I have nothing else to do,”

I grabbed my bag and walked out of the café with Danny following me.

I stepped out of Danny’s silver Lexus and waved goodbye as he pulled away from the curb. My black high heeled boots clicked against the sidewalk and I climbed the stairs to the hotel. Something grabbed my leg and I shrieked. I looked down and saw a pair of familiar green eyes looking at me.

“Holy fuck, Zack?” I asked and bent down.

I pushed his hair out of his dull eyes and bit my lip.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked.

“The guards wouldn’t let me in your suite so I decided to wait out here until you came back,” he said.

I sighed and helped him up. I grabbed his suitcase that he was sitting on and led him into the hotel. We made it over to the elevator and stepped in. once we were inside he stayed in the corner of the elevator away from me. The doors opened and we walked down the hallway. I opened the door and waited until Zack came in to close it back.

“You can have a seat on the couch if you want,” I mumbled and went into the bedroom.

I took off my boots and neatly placed them by the closet. I took off my heavy winter jacket and hung it up in the closet.

“This is a nice room,” Zack said from the doorway.

“Yeah it is,” I said and started taking some pajamas out of my suitcase.

“I’m sorry,” he quietly said.

I bit my lip and turned to look at him.

“Me too,” I said and walked over to him.

I wrapped him in a hug and finally felt how cold he really was. I pulled away and he raised an eyebrow. I shoved him towards the bathroom and ordered him to take a hot shower. He only nodded and shut the door after him. I went back to the bed and started taking off my clothes. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and slipped on an old sweatshirt from high school.

I put on some socks and walked into the kitchen. I put some water on to boil and rummaged through the cabinets to find some cups. I found them and emptied hot chocolate mix into the cups. The water finished boiling and I poured some into each cup. I took a spoon and started stirring the contents. I finished stirring and pulled out the bag of marshmallows from the cabinet above my head. I put marshmallows in each cup and I took one mug and left the other for Zack.

I blew away the steam and sipped the hot chocolate while I stood by the window. I was so spaced out looking at the cars bustle below on the snow covered streets that I didn’t hear Zack come out of the bathroom and into the family room.

“Hey,” he said, startling me.

“Hey,” I answered and continued drinking out of my mug.

“I made you some hot chocolate. It’s on the counter if you want it,” I said without turning around.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

I nodded and kept my eyes forward where the empire state building was. I felt Zack walk up next to me but I didn’t say anything.

“You feel better?” I asked.

“Yeah,”

“Why’d you come all the way to New York?” I asked and finally turned to Zack.

“I realized how much of an ass I was and wanted to apologize in person,” he answered.

I wrapped him in a hug, careful not to spill the hot chocolate. I buried my face in his neck and inhaled his cologne.

“I missed you,” I mumbled.

“Me too, even if it was only a day,”

We pulled apart and he brushed my bangs out of my face. He kissed me softly at first and than deepened the kiss. I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip and I parted my mouth enough for him to slip his tongue in. I tasted the hot chocolate from his mouth and moaned into the kiss. I pulled away and sent him a shy smile.

“Come on, let’s go to bed. I wouldn’t want you to be tired on your birthday,” I said.

I took his mug and mine and placed them in the kitchen while he went into the bedroom. I shut off all the lights and went into the bedroom where Zack was already under the covers. I crawled in after him and shut off the bedroom light. I stared at him through the dark, looking into his eyes which could be seen from the city lights coming through the window.

“I love you,” he mumbled and pulled me close.

“I love you too,”

“Good night,” he said and kissed my forehead.

“Good night,” I yawned.

I buried myself into his chest and felt myself automatically go to sleep from exhaustion.