If Words Are But Words
I just wanna be beautiful, i wanna be your beautif
IAN’S POV
I could hear Frank following close behind me but there was no way I was gonna let him catch up to me, ask me what was wrong for the billionth time and tell me it’s was all gonna be ok. It wasn’t, it’s not gonna be, it’s never gonna be ok.
I ran until I couldn’t run anymore, I collapsed in a scummy graffiti-covered alley in the middle of the ghetto of town.
“Ian, please” I heard Frank, I tried to get to my feet but didn’t have any energy left and slumped back to the rough ground, grazing my cheek,
I saw a figure approaching me but I knew it wasn’t worth trying to run or escape so I just lay there.
“Don’t run, please don’t run” it was Frank. He sat down next to me and looked sympathetic.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you Ian, why you’re so distant, why you’re not eating, why you always look sick, why you’ve always got injuries you ‘forget’ how you got, why you smell of vomit all the time. I don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself and I...” he said, his voice quivering with each word, “I don’t know how to make it all better”
I stared at him from a moment, his lip trembled, the silver hoop glinting in the moonlight.
“Me neither” I replied sniffling.
“I just can’t, I don’t know what to do” he stared into the moonlight, a single tear sliding down his face, he hurriedly wiped it away.
He brushed the dirt from the graze on my cheek and kissed my forehead delicately, I nestled my face into the nook of his neck and huddled closer to him for comfort.
“Thank-you...for everything” I murmured sleepily. He wrapped his hands around my waist and said nothing. He didn’t have to.
I felt his hand slide up my shirt and I flinched slightly, it ran across the cuts and scars on my stomach and he instantly pulled his hand back.
“You did that” he said darkly.
“D-did what?” I asked moving back slightly.
“That” he shouted, as he lunged at me, ripping up my shirt so it revealed the mutilation.
I looked away, the damage slashed across my stomach making me cringe.
“I’m sorry” Sorry seemed to be excruciatingly common in my vocab lately, it had began to lose all meaning.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault, I just wanna know why. Why baby, why?” he yelled through tears that he now not even bothered to wipe away but just let them stream down his anguished face.
“I’m not pretty” I spat barely above a whisper. I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the ground in frustration and anger.
“Not pretty?” Frank asked, tilting his head to the side. I threw my arms up as if in victory.
“I’M NOT F-CKING PRETTY! THERE! Are you f-cking happy now! Does this make you feel like you achieved something? Do you feel BIG now! Do you feel superior! Is this what you wanted!” I broke down, I just broke down, fell to my knees and cried.
“Baby, oh god no. I never wanted this” he tried to put his arms around me but I pushed him out of the way. I’m running, running and I don’t care where I end up. Anywhere is better than here.
-------------------------------------
Hey kids i typed the next
chapter so when there's
comments there will be
an update ^_^
xox
I could hear Frank following close behind me but there was no way I was gonna let him catch up to me, ask me what was wrong for the billionth time and tell me it’s was all gonna be ok. It wasn’t, it’s not gonna be, it’s never gonna be ok.
I ran until I couldn’t run anymore, I collapsed in a scummy graffiti-covered alley in the middle of the ghetto of town.
“Ian, please” I heard Frank, I tried to get to my feet but didn’t have any energy left and slumped back to the rough ground, grazing my cheek,
I saw a figure approaching me but I knew it wasn’t worth trying to run or escape so I just lay there.
“Don’t run, please don’t run” it was Frank. He sat down next to me and looked sympathetic.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you Ian, why you’re so distant, why you’re not eating, why you always look sick, why you’ve always got injuries you ‘forget’ how you got, why you smell of vomit all the time. I don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself and I...” he said, his voice quivering with each word, “I don’t know how to make it all better”
I stared at him from a moment, his lip trembled, the silver hoop glinting in the moonlight.
“Me neither” I replied sniffling.
“I just can’t, I don’t know what to do” he stared into the moonlight, a single tear sliding down his face, he hurriedly wiped it away.
He brushed the dirt from the graze on my cheek and kissed my forehead delicately, I nestled my face into the nook of his neck and huddled closer to him for comfort.
“Thank-you...for everything” I murmured sleepily. He wrapped his hands around my waist and said nothing. He didn’t have to.
I felt his hand slide up my shirt and I flinched slightly, it ran across the cuts and scars on my stomach and he instantly pulled his hand back.
“You did that” he said darkly.
“D-did what?” I asked moving back slightly.
“That” he shouted, as he lunged at me, ripping up my shirt so it revealed the mutilation.
I looked away, the damage slashed across my stomach making me cringe.
“I’m sorry” Sorry seemed to be excruciatingly common in my vocab lately, it had began to lose all meaning.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault, I just wanna know why. Why baby, why?” he yelled through tears that he now not even bothered to wipe away but just let them stream down his anguished face.
“I’m not pretty” I spat barely above a whisper. I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the ground in frustration and anger.
“Not pretty?” Frank asked, tilting his head to the side. I threw my arms up as if in victory.
“I’M NOT F-CKING PRETTY! THERE! Are you f-cking happy now! Does this make you feel like you achieved something? Do you feel BIG now! Do you feel superior! Is this what you wanted!” I broke down, I just broke down, fell to my knees and cried.
“Baby, oh god no. I never wanted this” he tried to put his arms around me but I pushed him out of the way. I’m running, running and I don’t care where I end up. Anywhere is better than here.
-------------------------------------
Hey kids i typed the next
chapter so when there's
comments there will be
an update ^_^
xox