If Words Are But Words
I'm just a kid lost in the mall...
JADE’S POV
Do I follow him...he doesn’t want me to. He left me here...maybe Adam was right maybe my mom was trying to lose me. I’m just a kid lost in the mall now, except the mall is the world and my mom didn’t leave me, Ian did...but Ian isn’t coming back.
I sat there, against that wall for a long time, the sun began to dimmer. I was so alone, I’ve never been alone before. It’s awkward, it makes you really think and when you really think you tend to think to deeply, or at least I do. Davey says it’s dangerous when I think...now I’m beginning to think he’s right.
My thoughts were interrupted by my cell phone ringing, I really couldn’t be bothered to answer it except it kept ringing so if figured it could be important.
“Hello?” I asked without actually bothering to read the call id.
There was a silence then an uncomfortable choking sound and coughing.
“Hunter, I’m really not in the mood” I warned, knowing full well I’m not the slightest bit intimidating.
“Please...Jade, I’m so sorry. I-I-I don’t know what to do...” It was Ian but his voice trailed off and was interrupted by sickening gasps.
“Oh god, Ian, Ian are you ok? Where are you? What’s wrong?” I started losing control of my breathing. He sounded so scared, vulnerable, hurt.
“I-I...”
BEEP.
The phone cut out. Oh f-ck, what the f-ck do I do. Oh god, oh god what the hell do I do.
I hurriedly got to my feet and bolted for my life to the bus lot, I figured he would probably have gone back there.
I burst into the Lostprophets bus with a slam and quickly scanned my surrounding. Oh god, oh dear god where the hell is he.
My stomach fell with a nauseating thud as I noticed the bathroom door, closed.
God no, oh god no, please no.
I rushed to the door and pushed it open, probably with a little too much force as it made a loud slam noise, hitting the wall.
The part of the bath that was exposed through a crack in the curtain was filled, correction overflowing, with red water. I ran my hands through my hair in fright and disturbance at what I’d be greeted with if I pulled back the curtain. Shaking I pushed back the curtain and saw Ian, head facing away from me. Blood streaming all down his arms, stomach, everywhere. I nearly puked, f-ck let him be alive dear f-cking god let him be alive.
I jumped into the bath, vicious scarlet water splashing up my jeans.
I turned his face to me and tapped it, god wake up Ian, please oh god. There was no movement, not a twitch.
I stepped back deciding to pull him from the tub first so he didn’t lose any more blood although it was hard to think he had anymore to lose. Then his body slumped and he slid under the water, fully submerged by crimson.
I leaned on my knees in the water, my legs on either side of him. I placed my hand under his neck and pulled his head from the water.
I held his face in my hands, hoping for something, anything but there was nothing.
My body fell limp and I cascaded to the water, I wanted to shout so loud but that wouldn’t do anything. I held Ian close, tears streaming down my face.
“Ian,” I held his face to mine, I swallowed to stop myself choking up on my tears.
I pressed my lips to his and closed my eyes, there was cold, nothing but cold.
Do I follow him...he doesn’t want me to. He left me here...maybe Adam was right maybe my mom was trying to lose me. I’m just a kid lost in the mall now, except the mall is the world and my mom didn’t leave me, Ian did...but Ian isn’t coming back.
I sat there, against that wall for a long time, the sun began to dimmer. I was so alone, I’ve never been alone before. It’s awkward, it makes you really think and when you really think you tend to think to deeply, or at least I do. Davey says it’s dangerous when I think...now I’m beginning to think he’s right.
My thoughts were interrupted by my cell phone ringing, I really couldn’t be bothered to answer it except it kept ringing so if figured it could be important.
“Hello?” I asked without actually bothering to read the call id.
There was a silence then an uncomfortable choking sound and coughing.
“Hunter, I’m really not in the mood” I warned, knowing full well I’m not the slightest bit intimidating.
“Please...Jade, I’m so sorry. I-I-I don’t know what to do...” It was Ian but his voice trailed off and was interrupted by sickening gasps.
“Oh god, Ian, Ian are you ok? Where are you? What’s wrong?” I started losing control of my breathing. He sounded so scared, vulnerable, hurt.
“I-I...”
BEEP.
The phone cut out. Oh f-ck, what the f-ck do I do. Oh god, oh god what the hell do I do.
I hurriedly got to my feet and bolted for my life to the bus lot, I figured he would probably have gone back there.
I burst into the Lostprophets bus with a slam and quickly scanned my surrounding. Oh god, oh dear god where the hell is he.
My stomach fell with a nauseating thud as I noticed the bathroom door, closed.
God no, oh god no, please no.
I rushed to the door and pushed it open, probably with a little too much force as it made a loud slam noise, hitting the wall.
The part of the bath that was exposed through a crack in the curtain was filled, correction overflowing, with red water. I ran my hands through my hair in fright and disturbance at what I’d be greeted with if I pulled back the curtain. Shaking I pushed back the curtain and saw Ian, head facing away from me. Blood streaming all down his arms, stomach, everywhere. I nearly puked, f-ck let him be alive dear f-cking god let him be alive.
I jumped into the bath, vicious scarlet water splashing up my jeans.
I turned his face to me and tapped it, god wake up Ian, please oh god. There was no movement, not a twitch.
I stepped back deciding to pull him from the tub first so he didn’t lose any more blood although it was hard to think he had anymore to lose. Then his body slumped and he slid under the water, fully submerged by crimson.
I leaned on my knees in the water, my legs on either side of him. I placed my hand under his neck and pulled his head from the water.
I held his face in my hands, hoping for something, anything but there was nothing.
My body fell limp and I cascaded to the water, I wanted to shout so loud but that wouldn’t do anything. I held Ian close, tears streaming down my face.
“Ian,” I held his face to mine, I swallowed to stop myself choking up on my tears.
I pressed my lips to his and closed my eyes, there was cold, nothing but cold.