We Couldn't Change It If We Tried

"Thanks for the amazing birthday Joey," I said as we walked into his room. I was, of course, trying to be nice and suck up to him so he wouldn't yell. Maybe he'd even forget everything he'd heard. "It was my best birthday ever."

He just grunted, taking off his shoes and throwing them aside. I sighed. As he had been doing all night after he walked away from Vanessa, and me he was still ignoring me

Nick peeked in through the door. "Hey guys, I'm going to go drop Diana home real fast." He sounded smug. Joe didn't answer.

I rolled my eyes. Diana had shown up about a half hour after I had. Nick, of course, couldn't leave her side the whole time. The worst part of it? She had gotten me a really hot and expensive guitar for my birthday – and it was exactly the next one on my list to get. So this girl was cool and nice. Plus she knew her guitars. Damn her – she was perfect for the studmuffin. Hating her just made me feel mean.

"Don't make too much noise," Nick continued, smirking now. "Even though I'm not here, Frankie is sleeping in my room, and I'm not sure those sounds would be appropriate for a seven year old's ears." Joe and I both grabbed the closest things near us and chucked them at Nick's head. "Hey," he shouted as he ducked away from a pillow and Joe's shoe. "Can't even take a joke," he mumbled as he closed the door.

I sighed, sitting on the bed, not looking at Joe. We were now alone, and I knew what was coming. And I wasn't sure I was ready for it.

Joe surprised me as he got into the bed, not saying one word. He pulled the blanket over him, turning away from me. I sighed, quickly changing into my pajamas and getting into the bed too. Maybe he was still too mad – maybe he just needed some more time.

"Could you turn off the light," Joe said, his voice empty. "Or are you just thinking of your options?"

I cringed. Here it came. I braced myself as he sat up, twirling quickly to look at me. "An abortion Dani? How could you even consider that?"

I looked away. "I never really considered it. It was just – a thought."

"A thought to end a life," he asked, his voice anger and confused.

"I'm 19 Joe," I sighed, still not looking at him. "I love you more than anything. But I can't be a – a mother yet. I'm not ready for that. We're not ready for that."

"Exactly," he spat. "We! Us. Me and you. Not just you. This isn't just your decision to make. It's my child too."

I sighed, knowing he was right. It was us. This wasn't just my decision. We had to make it – as a family. "I know Joe – but, are you ready to be a father? Are you ready to stay up late hours waiting for the baby to sleep? To wake up at random hours to feed it? To change its diapers? Are you ready to give up everything you and your brothers worked for? Everything your family worked for?"

"You're my family too now," he said quietly, desperately. "And I am ready. I know you're ready too. We can do this Dani. We can do this together."

"Maybe, maybe not," I said, my voice just as quiet. "But are you ready to risk an innocent life to test that?"

"It wouldn't be a risk," he said. "Danielle, I love you. I know this could work. I know it would be hard, I'm not a naive idiot. But I'm willing to try. I thought you were too." His voice turned empty and cold again. "But now, I see. An abortion Dani? I can't condone that. You know how my family, how I, and how I thought you felt about abortion."

I felt tears come to my eyes. "I know Joe," I cried. "I know it's wrong! I know an abortion is out of the question. "I was sobbing now, the words barely coming out. "But I'm so scared. I'm – I'm 19. I can't be a mother. How can I? I don't know how to. My own mother was never there. And with our lives, our careers, how can I put our innocent baby through the same thing?"

"Shh baby," Joe wrapped his arms around me. I buried my head into his chest, the tears coming even faster as I finally realized the reason for my aversion to this baby. "Dani, baby, it'll be okay. Shh, don't be scared. I'm right here – and I'll be right here until the end." And he kept rubbing my head soothingly, the same words trying to calm me as I continued to bawl into him.

Finally, my tears subdued, and I was able to look at him. "Joe, how can it be okay?"

"Dani," he put his hand on my cheek. "Listen to me carefully. You are not your mother. You are not doomed to have kids who grow up without a mother. And in case you haven't noticed, even without your mom, you've become an amazing person. I love you Danielle. And I know that we can do this. I know we are ready for this."

I nodded, unable to find a counterargument. But then, I didn't really want to. Something in his words -- in his tone -- told me that this would be okay. I yawned. He pulled away, laughing at me. "Tired?"

"A bit," I shrugged, smirking. I kissed him, my fingers twisting in his hair as I pulled his closer to me, my body curving to fit his. He leaned me back onto the bed, his hands reaching to pull my dress off. "You know, this really was the best birthday I've ever had," I said as he kissed my neck.

"It's not over yet baby," he smirked as he entered me.

After we were done, Joe kept his arm around my waist, holding me to him as we slept. And that was the first night I didn't dream about Nick Jonas. Instead, I dreamt about Joe, and me -- and a baby.