We Couldn't Change It If We Tried

"Are you sure about this," Blair asked me as we walked into the club.

"Yes," I said firmly. Joe was here, and I was going to help him.

"We're right behind you Dani," Kevin said. "Thanks for doing this."

I smiled at him weakly as I made my way over to the bar. Sure enough, there was Joe. "Hi," I said, sitting next to him.

He looked at me before turning back to his drink. After taking a sip, he said, "What do you want?" His voice wasn't as harsh and violent as it had been before. It was pained this time.

"I came to drink with my best friend," I said. "A vodka please." I said to the bartender who nodded and got me my drink.

"No," he said automatically, taking it from me. "You can't drink."

"Why not," I asked, grabbing the cup back. "You're drinking too."

"You're not drinking Dani," he said firmly. "You're underage."

"So are you," I said.

"No," he repeated.

"That's a bit hypocritical, don't you think," I asked.

"No."

"You're being unfair," I acknowledged.

"I don't really care Danielle," he glared at me. "I'm not letting you drink."

"Fine, if I can't drink, you can't either." I grabbed his drink and put it on the other side of me.

"Give that back," he said.

"Then give me mine."

"No."

"Then tough nuts babe," I smirked at him. I was surprised at how easily this was going – how easily I could talk to him, smirk at him, without my heart breaking even more. I ran a hand through my hair.

Joe saw my wrist and froze. "Dani, I'm – I'm so sorry. I didn't – mean to hurt you." I wasn't sure if he was talking about kissing Tinsley or my wrist.

"It doesn't hurt so much anymore," I said, talking of my wrist. "Now let's get you home."

"Why are you trying to help me," he asked.

I sighed, running my hand through my hair again. "I don't know Joe. I just – I know I have too. Despite recent events, you'll always be my best friend. And I'm always going to help you if I can."

He just stared at me. "I don't deserve this. Dani, just go home. I'm a wreck. I can't change back now. I've messed everything up – with you, with my brothers, with my parents, even with my fans. I'm such a screw up. And I'm not going to bring you down with me anymore."

I glared at him. "Joseph Jonas, you are not doomed to be an alcoholic all your life. You can change back. You can do anything you want. And you haven't let your family or your fans down. Everyone still loves you and they'll be here for you every step of the way. I will be here with you every step of the way."

"Anything I want," he asked quietly. "Does that mean I can get you back too?"

I looked away, my heart finally shattering. "Joe, this is really hard for me, to even be here around you. I – don't think I can even think of that. But I do want to be friends again. And I will try my hardest to be able to trust you again, but – I can't think about anything more than friends."

"I can do friends," Joe said, quietly. "I need you in my life too much, that I'd settle for being just friends with you again."

I need you. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I needed him too. I needed him so badly. But my mind wouldn't let me give in to my feelings and to my heart. Joe hurt me – bad. He destroyed me with that one kiss. And I didn't know if I could be put back together again.

"Good," I smiled at him. "Now come on, let's get you sobered up so you can apologize to your mom."

He groaned. "I've been such a jerk lately. First to you, then to my family. I'm surprised everyone doesn't hate me. Though I think Nick kind of does. Not that I blame him, of course. I'm surprised he's even talking to me again," Joe admitted. "It seemed like he'd be mad at me forever after – it. But I think Kevin had something to do with his change of heart."

I sighed. "Joe, Nick doesn't hate you." I helped him stand, trying to touch him as little as possible. "He just – thinks you're insane."

"Who doesn't though," he smirked at me.

>>>>

Joe was on my bed, and I was on the floor. I thought it – inappropriate to sleep in the same bed as him, even if we were going to try to be friends again.

I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking back to his birthday – the memory playing over and over in my head. I knew Joe was sorry – but I just couldn't forget. I also couldn't forget how he barely tried to talk to me afterwards. If he had come told me how much he loved me then – maybe we would be together right now.

I sighed, getting up from the floor. I walked over to my guitar and started playing a song I had written last week.

>>>>

Something woke me up. I don't know what it was. But next thing I knew, I was wide awake and I heard singing. It was Dani, I realized. I didn't want her to know I was up in case she stopped playing. I wanted to hear it, so I just lay there.

"Did you forget
That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget
About me

Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

So now I guess
This is where we have to stay
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget

We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
At all

And at last
All the pictures have been burned
And all the past
Is just a lesson that I've learned
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You'll forget soon
About us."

I heard her sobbing quietly. It killed me to know I was the reason for this. I, the one who would normally have told her I would kick the person who made her cry's ass, was the ass that made her cry. But now I knew something else too. She still loved me.

>>>>

"Oh my head," Joe sat up in my bed the next morning.

I woke up from my stop – on the floor. I couldn't bring myself to sleep next to him. "Tylenol," I asked, reaching in my nightstand.

He looked at me. "Dani, why are you on the floor?"

I shrugged. "I didn't think it – appropriate to sleep in the same bed as you."

"I wouldn't rape you or anything," he said quietly.

"No, but you could have accidentally touch me," I said. "And right now, that's just as bad."

"Dani," he said, his voice pained. "I really am sorry. I swear I am. I'll do anything to prove that to you."

I smiled at him weakly. "Could you possibly take a shower? You reek."

He laughed. "Anything else," he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, get rid of that disgusting beard."

>>>>>

"So," Joe said, showered and shaved, as he stood at the bottom of my stairs. "Thank you. Can I – hug you?"

I froze. "Um –"

"Just as a friend," he corrected quickly. "I promise, it won't even be a three second hug."

"Okay," I said warily as he wrapped his arms around me. I immediately felt comforted. It was as if the last two months were a movie of someone else's life – and Joe was still mine. I could tell he felt it too since his arms tightened around me and his 'three second hug' went on.

It felt so right, yet I knew it wasn't. I wasn't ready to go there again. Joe had hurt me – badly. And that pain wasn't going to heal with just a hug. I tensed as his arms trailed my back. "Joe," I whispered.

He pulled back quickly. "I'm sorry Dani," he said. "I should go and apologize to everyone." I nodded. "Thanks for everything Dani."

"Hey, what are best friends for," I smiled at him. I felt my chest tighten at my words as his eyes did too. It felt so weird to go back to referring to us as just best friends, but that was all I could do.

"Can I ask you something," he asked quietly.

"Sure."

"Do you think – you'll ever be able to – trust me again?" He looked down, as if scared by my answer.

I took his hand. I was surprised at the easiness of the touch. "Honestly Joe?" He nodded. "I don't know… I hope I can one day – but I don't know if –"

"If you can," he finished for me, nodding. "I understand Dani. And I promise you, I will do anything to win back your trust." He squeezed my hand before he left.