We Couldn't Change It If We Tried

"And I was talking to my parents," Joe said, sitting on the bed next to me, his arm around my shoulders. "And they so agree with me."

"About," I prodded him, laughing when he didn't say anything else.

"You living with us after you get out of the hospital," he said, shrugging like it was obvious

I had been awake for a week now, and Joe hadn't left my room for more than 15 minutes a day. Everyone spent most of the day here, putting everything on hold. These people were my family. They were the ones who loved me, truly and deeply. My own mother hadn't been here once in the week I was awake. I hadn't received a call or anything from her. And I knew she knew about my condition – Nick told me Denise had called her. Now they wanted me to live with them? "You mean, like sell my house?"

"Um yeah," he said, suddenly unsure. "If you want to, that is. I just thought that with the baby and everything --."

I hadn't, of course, meant it like that. To show him I did want to live with him, I kissed him. "Joe, that would be amazing."

"Really," he asked, pure joy radiating off his voice. "That wouldn’t be weird?"

"No," I laughed. "It would be perfect. And you're right; it would be easier with the baby and everything. Plus, living with you? Joe, I love you. That would be amazing."

He kissed me in response, lightly pushing me back. I cringed as pain seeped through my body.

He pulled back, his face immediately apologetic. "Sorry."

I smiled weakly. "Stupid casts."

"Dani," his voice was pained. "I am so sorry. This is all my –"

"Joseph Jonas," I snapped. "If you say fault, I swear I'm going to cut your hair off." He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "No Joe. This is not your fault."

"I was the one driving," he said, looking at my casts. "I'm the one who put you here."

"I was the one decided to leave early Joe," I said.

"That was my fault too," he mumbled. "I should have—"

"Joe," I put my hand on his mouth. "Seriously stop it. Look Joe. I don't blame you. And I forbid you to blame yourself too."

"Nick's right," he mumbled. "You're bossy."

"Damn right I'm bossy," I smirked at him.

But still. Maybe it would be better – healthier for you if," again I stopped him from finishing the sentence that would hurt too much.

"Joe, listen to me. I love you. I don't care that I'm here," I said firmly. He opened his mouth. But, again, I stopped him. "No Joe! I have, what, two casts and a few bruises here and there."

"A few," he scoffed. "Dani, you have a fractured skull."

"I'm still alive aren't I," I asked rhetorically.

"Barely," he mumbled.

"Stop it," I snapped.

"But --," he said.

"Can we just forget this," I asked, hoping he'd agree. I put my hand on his cheek, looking him straight in the eyes. "Please?"

He sighed, looking away. "Fine."

"Thank you," I kissed him, putting more force than I had. It was painful, but not unbearable. I had to convince him I was fine, that he didn't have to worry.

But of course, he wasn't fooled. He pulled away, sighing in frustration. "Dani, I'm giving in a lot to you here. You could at least tell me when it's too much."

"I will," I promised, kissing him again.

"Eww gross," Nick mumbled as the door opened. "Seriously, she is in a hospital. Can't you save that? There's young ones here, you know."

"Then go away," Joe mumbled as he pulled off of me, staying on my bed next to me, his arm still around me.

"Dani, honey, how are you feeling," Denise asked, she hugged me while everyone piled in.

"Just peachy," I said, which made her laugh.

"So has Joseph talked to you about the living arrangement," she asked as everyone else hugged me.

"Yes, and I wanted to thank you Denise, thanks Paul," I smiled at them.

They laughed, hugging me again. "Don't thank us," Paul said. "It was completely Joe's idea."

"Though we think of you as family anyway," Denise added. "And we'd love to have you live with us. You are carrying a Jonas." She laughed. I grinned as Joe squeezed my arm.

"So what did you eat," Nick asked, grabbing the juice off my tray. He looked at the stuff I had left – which was basically all of it.

"Nothing," I mumbled. Hospital food had a way of making me lose my appetite. "Seeing as I'm eating for two right now, you'd think that they'd give me some decent food at least."

They laughed, all exchanging a look. "It's a good thing we know you so well because we brought you some good food."

My face lit up as Denise pulled out a brown paper bag. I started eating the pancakes she brought me. "These would be better with some mayonnaise." And of course, my family laughed at me. Joe started eating some of my pancakes, but I smacked his hand away. "Get your own," I mumbled. "I'm eating for two here."

"Good you're up Miss Touch --," the nurse paused as she saw my pancakes. She had a big bouquet in her hands.

"Shit," I mumbled. I wasn't exactly allowed to eat outside food yet. She shook her head as I handed the platter back to Denise.

"No outside food yet honey," she smiled at me kindly. "Sorry hon, but doctor's orders."

"Sorry," I mumbled. "So flowers, huh? For me?"

She looked as if she remembered the bouquet in her hands. "Oh yes, dear me. I almost forgot. Seems like someone really likes you. These are beautiful."

I giggled. "Thanks Liz." She smiled, handing Joe the flowers for me.

"Wow, these are beautiful," Denise sighed.

"Hey," Nick perked up. "These are exactly like the ones sent with that creepy drawing."

Kevin threw Nick a look. "Creepy picture," Joe asked. "What creepy picture?"

"Um," Nick panicked. Obviously Joe wasn't supposed to know of them. "Okay, don't get mad or anything. It's just part of the many presents you got."

Joe gritted his teeth. "And the creepy picture?"

"Someone uh – sent a drawing of Dani in her room."

"Room?"

Oh crap. I could see Joe getting mad. "Calm down Joey. It'll be okay."

"Dani's apparently got a stalker," Kevin continued. "But this is kind of part of the life."

"A drawing in her room," Joe repeated. "That's too much, even for the celeb life. And now he's sending stuff here?"

"Well read the note," Denise suggested.

I sighed, opening the little envelope attached to the bouquet.

"Dearest love of mine
So fair in form and voice
Will you at last grant me
The chance to be with you?

My love for you remains undying
As you ly now awake
In the arms of the unworthy one
Know I will come for you
Freeing you from his wrongful hold.

Do not fear my love
The baby binding you
Can be gone within an hour
Do not fear my love

I've been watching over you
Protecting you for
Harm to you would hurt me so
Night and day I shall watch for you.

My heart so longs to be in your arms,
inside I burn with such passion
just to spend a moment in your sweet company
unrestrained the mask of shrubs.

So will you please grant my essence
the ecstasy of some simple touch,
it will last a life time
I'll cherish you always for such kindness.

Unlike the one who holds your love now
His unworthiness will be cleansed
You'll be with one who loves you forever
I'll cherish you for my whole life.

Dearest love of mine
So fair in form and voice
Will you at last grant me
The chance to be with you?"

"What. The. Fuck," Joe's words were slow.