We Couldn't Change It If We Tried

"The couple shall now recite their vows. Joseph," the priest gestured for Joe to begin.

Joe turned to me, his face radiating pure joy. The grin on his face reflected the one on my own. In a few minutes, I would forever be Mrs. Joseph Jonas. My dream, my life, my everything would be complete. Joe would be mine for all of eternity and I his. He squeezed my hand before beginning. "Danielle, I have loved you for more than half my life." He put my hand on his chest. "My heart beats only for you – it has only ever beat for you. You have made me the happiest man alive. And I vow to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you've made me."

Tears formed in my eyes. "In my whole life, I have never felt so much love, so much happiness than when I was with you. My life has been made better because you are with me, because I know that you will always be with me. And the very thought of waking up next to you everyday, of knowing that we'll be together forever, fills me with more happiness than I've ever imagined. I love you Joe. And I vow to love you more everyday for the rest of our lives."

He smiled at me, his face so – content. I knew he was feeling everything I was feeling. This was the moment we had been waiting for. This was the moment we had longed to share -- the moment when we would become one for the rest of our lives.

"If anyone has a reason why these two young lovers should be kept from the bond of marriage, speak now or forever hold your --," the priest was cut off.

"I do," someone said from the back of the church. Everyone spun around to see who it could be. I gasped, and felt Joe tense. Cory. "Danielle is supposed to be mine." She pulled something out from his jacket before the security could get to him. Tears spilled onto my cheeks. It was a gun. BAM. It was shot before someone took him down. Someone screamed. I stood frozen, slowly turning to Joe. I screamed. He was grasping his stomach with his free hand, the one in mine clutching tighter as he fell to his knees. Blood stained his shirt as his eyes started to roll back.

"No," I shouted, sitting up in the bed. I gasped, breathing heavily as I felt Joe sit up quickly next to me.

"Dani, what is it," his arms were around me. "What happened?"

I just dug my head into his chest, tears pouring freely down my cheeks. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling him next to me, calming me. It was only a dream. Joe was okay. He was alive.

"Did you have a nightmare," he asked softly, his hand running over my head repeatedly. I nodded slightly. "Shh Dani, it'll be okay. It was only a dream." Still, tears poured down my face. I breathed him in, needing proof that this wasn't the dream, a figment of my imagination to keep me from breaking. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Did I want to talk about it? Did I want to tell Joe that I had dreamt of him dying? Did I want to tell him of my secret vow to save him at all costs? Did I want to tell him I'd sacrifice myself to keep him alive, because I could not go on without him? "No," I whispered. "Not yet."

"Okay," he kissed the top of my head. "Do you want me to sing to you? To keep the bad dreams away? I have been told I have the voice of an angel." I laughed, hearing the smirk in his voice. I nodded, my head still in his chest. He leaned back against the bed board, his arms tight around me.

"Bright lights
Big stars
Big dreams

This town
Ain't what it seems

Where was I going when I left you
What did I think I was gonna do

I had too much to dream last night
Hey now do you know what I mean
It's all different in the daylight
Just had a little too much to dream

Too high
Too fast
Too far

No one
Can catch a falling star

Where was I going when I left you
What did I think I was gonna do

I had too much to dream last night
Hey now do you know what I mean
It's all different in the daylight
Just had a little too much to dream

Had a little too much to dream," he sang.

I felt my eyes close, sleep coming over me. I listened as Joe continued to sing to me.

One week had passed. One week, and there had been no sign of Cory. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't get flowers with a creepy note. It was the first time I didn't get those disgusting pictures. And it was the first time that I realized that this – this anxiety of not knowing when he'd strike next, was far worse than knowing he'd send something else everyday. I was becoming a wreck. Every time the door bell rang, I'd think it was him. Every time we went out, I'd check behind me to see if he was lurking in my shadow. Every time I went to sleep, I would dream of him coming for me like he said.

Kevin and Blair tried going on their honeymoon again, making it three weeks now instead of one because of the – mishap. I was all for that, seeing as they really deserved it, and wedding planning would be starting soon, and there was no way I was going to let puce-loving Blair help me.

And I was going to make sure my dream didn't come true. I would protect Joe at all costs. Losing him would crush me. It would destroy me. Life would lose all meaning. I silently remembered my vow to sacrifice myself for him if need be.

"Knock, knock," my mom said as she entered Joe's and my room, carrying a tray of food. Ever since the hostage thing, my mom had been living here with us. I hadn't even known she was out of rehab. "Denise made breakfast," she indicated the food in her hands. "And I brought you soon."

I sat up in the bed, hugging the blanket closer to me. I looked at the clock. 10:49. I wondered when Joe had left, when I had woke up, when my horrifying vivid dreams had become horrifying vivid thoughts. "Thanks," I said as she walked over, handing me the tray. The smell of pancakes filled my nose. But there was something different about them. They didn't smell like they usually did. These brought on a different memory. One of when Blair and I were younger, when my mom would come home from rehab. These weren't Denise's pancakes. These were my mothers. "You can't fool me," I said quietly, digging in. "These pancakes are some on my favorite childhood memories."

She laughed. "I didn't know if you'd eat them if I made them."

"Um, hello," I rolled my eyes. "They're pancakes, enough said."

She laughed again, sighing before sitting on the foot of my bed. "You're still a child Dani. You're still supposed to be making those childhood memories. It pains me to think that you've put those years behind you. You've grown up much too fast, mostly because of me."

I shrugged. "I like who I am."

"I do too," she smiled at me. "I'm only sorry I didn't get a chance to get to know you better as you were growing up. It's my own fault, I suppose."

I shrugged again. "I'm not that interesting a person."

My mom laughed. "Dani, you're my daughter, thus the most interesting person in my world. And now you're going to be a mother. I can't believe it."

I touched my stomach. "I didn't like it at first. I thought I was too young. But now – I – I can't imagine my life without the baby."

She smiled. "You're going to be an amazing mother." Then she sighed. "Dani, you didn't like it at first. Did you not like it because of me?" I was quiet, looking away. "Dani, you're not going to make my mistakes. You're stronger than I am. When your father died –" She paused. "When he died, I was crushed. My whole life was revolved around him. He was my whole world. I was a weak woman. I was easily subsided with my grief. But I look at you now. You have this amazing career, these amazing friends, this amazing life. You are your own person, something I never was. You will not make my mistakes." Her voice was confident. "Now, if only you can see how sorry I –"

"Mom stop," I cut her off. "I'm not mad anymore." She looked at me, amazed. "I'm not. I look at Joe and I see how losing dad would destroy you. If anything happened to Joe, well I think I would have done the same thing. I never used to understand how you could love dad so much that losing him would crush you like that. But I love Joe, more than anyone. He is my life. And when I realized that, I finally understood you. And now, I'm not mad."

My mom hugged me. I could tell from her tensed body that my words troubled her. But she just smiled when she pulled away. "I'm so happy that you found someone who made you so happy Danielle. I don't think I've ever seen you this happy, even when you were little. Thank you for forgiving me Dani. And I promise, I will try my hardest to change now, for you, for Blair, for myself. I owe it to both of you."

"Thanks mom," I smiled.

She kissed my forehead. "Now eat please. You are eating for my grandbaby too, you know."

I laughed. "Finally, someone that understands." I dug into the rest of my pancakes. But I felt my mom's stare. I knew my words had gotten her thinking. I knew she was probably thinking I was more like her than she hoped. But for once, I didn't care. I liked how I was. I liked this love I had for Joe It made me content, happy. It made me whole.

[♣♣♣]

"Keep that blindfold on missy," Joe scolded me as I tried to peek. "We're almost there."

"We've been on a plane, a car, and we've walked a bajillion miles," I groaned. "You could just tell me where we're going."

Joe laughed. "But that's no fun."

"You know I hate you, right," I said.

He laughed again. "No you love me. And you will love me more. Now we're almost there. Step here."

"I'm going to fall," I said. "And then I'm going to get hurt. And then you'll have to live with that on your shoulders. Can you do that mister?"

"Dani, I will never let anything happen to you," he said, his voice firm. "I would never be able to live with myself if something did. Do you want me to sing to you? It'll distract you."

"You always sing to me," I said, frustrated that my eyes still had to be closed. "What if I want to sing to you? I've been told my voice is pretty angelic too."

He laughed. "Okay, you sing to me."

"I don't want to now," I stuck my tongue out at him.

He stopped, putting his hand on my cheek. "Please," he whispered. His face was close to mine. I felt his breath on my lips. I sighed, dumbstruck.

"Fine," I said, not letting him know his effect on me. "But only because I have nothing better to do except see the back of my eye lids."

He laughed. "Whatever you say Dani."

"Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight," I finished.

His lips were suddenly on mine, moving with them in sync. I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck as I kissed him back. His pulled away slightly, his lips still touching mine. "I love you," he whispered, his lips teasing me.

I leaned forward, kissing him again. "I love you."

"Okay, we're here." He put his hands on my shoulders. "Open your eyes."

I opened them, gasping as I took it in. We were on the edge of a Grand Canal. A gondola was waiting. We were in Venice.

"Like it," Joe laughed at my expression.

I kissed him in response. "I love it."

He smiled, taking my hand and helping me onto the gondola. He sat down, pulling me with him. I sighed, resting my head on his chest. He pulled out a basket, handing me a sandwich and a bottle of coke. "Did you make these," I laughed, holding up the falling apart sandwich.

He turned red. "Making sandwiches is hard."

I laughed again, kissing him. "It's perfect."

After we had eaten, Joe put the basket away. "So why Venice?"

He turned to me, taking my hand. "Danielle, you've already said yes, so please don't ruin this for me."

I looked at him, confused. "Alright." I had no idea what he was talking about.

He got down on one knee, my hand still in his. "Danielle Marie Touchstone, you have made me happier than I thought I could ever be. The way I've felt since we got together has been beyond anything I ever imagined someone could feel. I love you with my whole life. I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as I am. Will you marry me?"

I gasped. "This is what we were doing here?"

He laughed. "You didn’t really think that my proposal was the official one, did you? I know you well enough to know I had to do it up."

I laughed too. "You did all this because you thought I didn't like how you proposed?"

"I wanted it to be perfect," he shrugged.

I kissed him. "It really is perfect. And, my answer is still yes."

He smiled. "Good, cause otherwise this ring would have been a waste." He took out a ring box, putting a massive stone on my finger before kissing me again.