We Couldn't Change It If We Tried

"No," I sat up, shaking as the images from my dream replayed in my head.

Joe sat up too. "Another bad dream," he asked, his arms already around me.

I nodded, burying my head to his chest. "They're so vivid. I can't tell the difference between the dreams and reality anymore."

Joe kissed my head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Did I want to talk about how I watched Joe die every night? Did I want to talk about how my heart would shatter every time? How the pain of losing him was too much, even in a dream, that my whole body would shake my awake? Did I want to talk about how I would try to save him no matter what? Something told me Joe wouldn't like that too much. "I'm okay," I whispered, putting my head on my pillow.

"Are you sure," his tone told me he obviously wasn't convinced.

"Yes," I said, turning the light back off.

He sighed, lying down too. I hugged my pillow closer. "Joe," I whispered a few minutes later.

"Yeah," he asked in the darkness.

"Can you hold me?"

His arm was suddenly around me tightly, holding me to him, hid grip protective. I sighed, burying my head into his chest, feeling the comfort of his body next to mine. For this moment, he was safe next to me. And for this moment, all I needed was to feel him with me.

[&&&]

Danielle was not okay. Joseph was not okay. Neither of them was even remotely okay. And I, being the loveable and easy going third party guy that I was, had to be the one to listen to them blabber on about how they both pretended everything was just dandy. I swear, I sometimes wondered if I was the only normal Jonas. Every day, Dani and Joe would list complaint after complaint and worry after worry off to me, never talking about it with each other. And these two were supposed to be married soon? Lately, I wondered if they even talked to one another anymore, seeing as they both talked to me nonstop.

But one thing was undeniable. Joe and Danielle were irrevocably, and unbelievably in love. Their whole lives revolved around each other. Every movement they made was synchronized, as if they were satellites, revolving around each other. They seemed to live to make each other happy. Maybe that was why I had to suffer through their rants. They didn't want even harmful thoughts in the other's mind. Every thing that happened in the last few months only seemed to have made their bond stronger. And now, they were impenetrable.

But that still didn't change the fact that the let's rant to Nick instead of talking out our problems was getting on my nerves.

"And he always asks me if I want to talk about it," Dani was saying. I just sighed and nodded, having heard this one before. "And like, obviously I don't. Why would I want to tell him that Cory kills him in my dreams every night? I mean, it's painful enough to see in my head than to see the worry in his eyes. But would he be worried about himself? Oh no. Not Mr. Invincible Joseph Jonas. He's worried about me, delicate, little fragile Danielle Touchstone. Man, he makes me so mad."

I sighed. "Dani, why don't you tell him this?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't you ever listen to me? I told you yesterday. He wouldn't let me out of his sight then ever. I'm lucky to be in here alone. I'm surprised he doesn't think Cory is hiding in your closest or something."

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe he's just looking out for you."

"And maybe he should be looking out for himself," she snapped. "You know, the one Cory wouldn't actually mind hurting. The one he actually hurts in my dreams every night."

"I might be going on a whim here," I said. "But seeing as Joe doesn't know you're having these dreams, since you won't tell him, you can't really blame him."

"And I know I'm no going on a whim in telling you to shut the fuck up," she rolled her eyes.

I laughed. "Seriously Dani. Instead of telling me, tell him. I mean, he's a wreck. He's driving himself crazy trying to help you but he doesn't know how."

"He could just ask," she rolled her eyes. "He didn't have to tattle to you."

"You mean, like you're doing right now," I smirked.

"Again Nicholas, shut the fuck up," she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh the hostility," I pretended to clutch my heart, smirking. "You kill me."

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes. "You suck."

"Hey," Joe opened the door. Dani turned white as she smiled at him. I shook my head. These two were unbelievable. "Um, Nick, can I talk to you for a second?"

I groaned. Joe's talks were usually more – forceful. Seeing as he didn't actually know the problem with Dani, he was a lot more emotional about it. And that meant anger showed a lot. "I'm kind of talking to Dani. But hey, here's an idea. Why don't you guys talk and I'll go bake some cookies or something?"

"No," they both shouted before looking at each other. They both started laughing. I rolled my eyes. I swear, these two were going to be parents? I was scared for the baby.

"Great," I said, getting up and pushing past Joe. "Call me if you guys need me. And don't break anything. And uh – if you guys want to – you know. . .make up," I smirked. "I'd prefer if you did it in your room, seeing as I just washed my sheets." They both rolled their eyes, grabbing hold of stuff to throw at me. I left before they could.

[&&&]

"So," I said, sitting on Nick's bed.

"So," Joe said, sitting next to me. He sighed. "We've been being really stupid."

"Speak for yourself," I smirked, throwing Nick's pillow at him.

"careful," he said as it hit the floor. "Nick just had these washed."

We both started cracking up. "I wonder what he'd do if we just made a huge mess in here," I looked around, thinking of all the possibilities.

Joe followed my gaze. "I call messing up the closest."

"Damn it," I groaned. "That would have been the funniest part. We could cross out all the NJJ and wrote DJ." We both snickered. Then we got quiet, sighing.

"Dani, we really need to talk," he said quietly. I nodded, looking away, not saying anything. "Dani, I need to know what's been bothering you. It's killing me." I looked at him. His face was serious, and pained as his eyes bore into mine. It hurt to see him so – upset. "Iwant need to help you. Please, Dani," he took him hand, putting it on his cheek, his hand covering mine. "What is wrong?"

I sighed. "I'm scared," I admitted.

"Of what," he was confused.

"Of – everything," I said. "Having this baby, getting married, facing the world, everything. But most of all, I'm scared of losing you."

"Losing me," he asked, his arms winding around me tightly. "Dani, baby, you're not going to lose me."

"But what if Cory makes good on his threat," I asked, burying my head into his chest. "What if he hurts you?"

"If it keeps you safe, it'll be worth it," he said firmly. "I don't care what happens to me as long as you're safe."

His words angered me. I pulled away from him, smacking him as hard as I could. "You think I'm scared of being kept safe," I spat the words out. He just sat there, staring at me, not saying anything for slapping him, not moving. He seemed more concerned with how I was feeling. This made me more mad. I smacked him again. His head didn't even move. His eyes continued to bore into mine, worried. "Did you ever even think that this has nothing to do with me?" I hit his chest. He didn't make a sound. "Did you ever think of what would happen to me if something happened to you? How I would feel? How I would react?" He continued to stare at me, letting me finish. I smacked him again, still angry. Angry at him, angry at myself, angry at Cory. I was angry at the world, and I was taking it out on Joe. Tears formed in my eyes. "Joe, I love you. I could never go on if something happened to you. I'd rather die."

His arms were suddenly around me, petting my face. He didn't say anything as I sobbed into his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

I pulled away. "Joe, please stop worrying about me so much and worry about yourself. Because whatever Cory could do to me, whatever this baby could do, whatever the world could do to me, nothing, nothing would destroy me as much as losing you."

Joe leaned towards me, his lips touching mine softly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him firmly to me. I just needed to feel him with me. I needed to know this wasn't a dream. I needed to know he was real. We slowly and gently leaned me back, hovering over me as his lips worked their way down to my neck. I gasped as his hands trailed down my sides, gently touching the hem of my jeans.

"Hey Ni—Oh. My. God," we heard the door open. We both looked at the door. There stood Diana, covering her eyes.

"Diana, wait, you might not want to go up there," we heard Nick scream as he ran up the stairs. He reached us, putting his arms on his knees and panting.

"You're a little late," I giggled into Joe's chest.

"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. But seriously, what is wrong with you too? You guys are always – you know."

Joe laughed, getting off of me. "You could have knocked," he said, as he put his arms around me, helping me up.

"Well, it is Nick's room," she snapped. "Excuse me for thinking any freaky business would be happening in your room."

"Well, excuse us for thinking you wouldn't interrupt this time," I laughed.

"This time," Nick asked confused.

"Didn't your girlfriend tell you," Joe smirked as Diana's cheeks turned red. "She has this habit of interrupting my hot, steamy sex with my girlfriend."

Nick gawked at Diana, whose face was flushing red. "I hate you," she glowered at us.

We laughed. "Love you too," Joe said, grabbing my hand. "Come on babe, let's go get Frankie to make us pancakes."

"Joe, he's seven," I laughed.

"Yet he's still allowed to use the stove more than Joe," Nick smirked as Joe stuck his tongue out at him.

[&&&]

"Joe, it's freezing," I whined as I snuggled closer to him as we walked down the sidewalk. Joe had, of course, suggested today of all days when it was 50 degrees out to go on a walk. "What are we doing here?"

He took off his own jacket, placing it over mine. "I want to spend time with you."

"And your warm house wasn't a good enough place," I groaned, shivering.

He laughed. "Dani, you're killing the romantic vibe, you know?"

I giggled. "Sorry babe. I'll stop now."

He grinned at me. "Thank you." He wrapped his arm over my shoulders, rubbing my arm to warm me. "Plus, our house needs us out while the last thing is set up."

I stared at him, confused. "Set up?"

He grinned, stopping. I noticed that we were in front of the house again. He looked at his watch. "Okay, we can go inside in exactly 10 seconds."

I groaned. "Are 10 seconds really going to make a difference?"

He just smiled, counting down the seconds. When he reached one, we turned to the door. It opened, revealing a sweaty Nick. "Okay, we're ready now."

Joe grinned at me, taking my hand and leading me into the house. He led me up the stairs, stopping in front of Kevin's room. Denise, Paul, Frankie, Diana, and Nick were all standing outside, grinning at me. "Have fun," Diana said, her tone suggestive.

"Eww," Nick groaned. "That is so sick."

"Nicholas," Denise warned.

I giggled as Joe stepped behind me, covering my eyes. "Ready?"

"Ready," I repeated. He led me inside. I heard the door close before he got off my eyes. I gasped, looking around the room. Kevin's stuff was all gone. The walls were painted a light purple. There were shelves and toys, and books, and a rocking chair. And in the middle, on top of a pretty blue rug, was the most beautiful crib I had ever seen. "Oh my God," I said, taking it all in.

"Do you like it," he asked. "We've all been working on it for days. Nick and my dad moved all of Kevin's stuff to Blair's after the wedding. That's actually why Nick said he'd raid Kevin's room, and why we didn't get to, cause nothing would have been I here." He chuckled. I could tell he was so happy showing me this, so happy to be sharing this with me, for our baby. That thought made me so unbelievably happy. "And then my mom and dad painted it at night when we'd be sleeping. And then I ordered all the furniture online a week ago, and my dad put it together and they set it all up while we went for the walk."

I turned around, kissing him. "Joe, this is –" I couldn't finish. Tears of pure joy filled my eyes, pouring down my cheeks.

"Aww baby, don't cry," he hugged me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"Joe stop," I cut him off, realizing he thought he'd done something wrong. "It's not you. It's the damn hormones. I love it."

"Really," he asked, his eyes and face sparkling.

I giggled. "Yes," I kissed him.

"Great," he sighed. "Because then Kevin's reaction to his lost room will be worth it." He grinned.