We Couldn't Change It If We Tried

I looked around at the expectant faces. Did they really expect me to have an answer? To choose between the reason for my existence and the child I had helped conceive? To choose between members of my family?

"What's your decision," Nick asked again.

I shook my head, tears coming back to my eyes. "I – I can't."

"Joe, you have to," Kevin said. "This is your decision, and your decision alone."

I sighed, looking at my shoes. "But, she's my – life. And the baby – our baby. I – I can't do this."

Blair sighed. "Nick's right Joe. I don't think anyone loves her as much as you do, or loves you as much as she."

"But, how can I condemn one of them to death," I asked, my voice small. "You guys should choose."

"Danielle would want you to choose," Blair said. "If anyone, she would place her life in your hands, and your hands alone."

"She trusts you Joe," Nick said. "We all do."

I sighed as the doctor came over. "I'm afraid we can't wait any longer. What's the verdict?"

Everyone looked at me. I took a deep breath. "Save her," I said firmly. I knew Dani would have wanted me to save the baby, the baby she had grown to love so much. But I was selfish, and I couldn't lose Dani. Every fiber in my body shied away from the very thought of losing her. And in the end, the decision was easy. I needed Dani with me. She was my other half, she was my life, my love, my everything.

I saw someone's hand on my shoulder, felt someone breath on my ear, heard someone's voice say it would be okay. But I was already too far gone, lost in my thoughts, thinking about Dani, thinking about my life, thinking how it only truly began when she came into my life.

"Can we go now," I whined as Nick dragged me around backstage. His show had just ended, and I wanted to go home. Barney was on.

"No," Nick screamed, only 5 at the time. "You have to meet my best friend Dani. She was in the show too. She looks like an angel. You'll like her. "

"I bet you your new Batman costume I won't," I said.

"Okay," Nick smirked.

"You know you probably will," Kevin said, pointing his finger up in his know-it-all fashion. "You're at that age where all girls –"

"Shut up," I groaned. "Can we just meet her and go? Supr Joe hasn't fed Cocco yet."

"There she is," Nick screamed. Kevin and I followed the direction of his finger. "Dani, over here."

"Woah baby," I said as Dani smiled, walking towards us.

"Joe, close your mouth, you're drooling," Kevin smirked. I glared at him.

"Hey Nick," the girl hugged him. "Great show."

"Thanks, you too," he grinned. "These are my brothers Joe and Kevin. Guys, this is my friend that I told you about. The one that dared that kid Mike to eat that gross looking tomato for 50 cents."

"Hey," she said defensively. "Not my fault. I told him our truth or dare was pretty intense. He still wanted to."

"That's just cause he likes you," Nick laughed.

"True," she struck a pose. "But then, who doesn't."

"Marry me," Joe blurted out accidentally.

"Hey," Nick said, sitting down next to me.

"Hey," I said, trying to hold the memories in my head.

"She'll be okay," he said. "You made the right choice."

I sighed. "What if she's not," I said. "What if she doesn't make it and I lost the love of my life and my child. I shouldn't have been the one to make the decision."

"Joe," he sighed. "You know Dani. You know, just as we all do, that she would have wanted you to make the decision. There's no question about it. It was your decision to make."

"But what if I chose wrong," I asked, my tone desperate.

Nick put his hand on my shoulder. "Joe, she's going to be okay."

I sighed, not saying anything. Instead, I thought of Dani again.

Dani," I jumped onto couch next to her, where she was watching TV. "Guess what? Two words: Rita's Water Ice."

"I would," she said curtly. "But I don't care."

"What's wrong," I asked, put off by the tone of her voice. "Are you mad at me?"

"I hate you," she said. "I'm never going to talk to you again, you jerk."

"Why not," I pouted. "What did I do?"

"If you don't know, I'm not telling you," she said as Nick came into the living room.

"You wrote a song for Mandy," Nick explained.

Dani snarled at him, throwing one of the couch pillows at his head. "Hey," he screamed, running out of the room.

"But she's my girlfriend," I whined. "I had to write a song for her."

"And I'm your best friend," she rolled her eyes. "Best friend trumps girlfriend, and I have a song about you. And you couldn't even write one measly song about me? Some best friend you are," she scoffed.

"I'm sorry," I pouted, resting my chin on her shoulder. "I'll write you a song now."

"No," she said, shrugging me off. "I don't want one anymore. I'm going to have my new best friend Nick write me a song."

"But he smells," I gasped. "How could you replace me with Nick?"

"At least Nick wants to write me a song," she stuck out her tongue.

"I do too," I insisted.

"What's it going to be about," she questioned.

"About how inseparable we are," I rolled my eyes. "Durrr Dani."

"Okay."

"So are we best friends again," I asked.

"Only if you buy me some Rita's water ice within the next 5 minutes," she smirked. "And you do know that Rita's water ice is three words right?

Hours passed as we waited. I became more anxious as every moment passed.

"Joey," Dani screamed as she jumped on my bunk, waking me.

I groaned, turning over. She fell off, falling next to me. "Go away," I grumbled.

She sighed. "But I'm bored."

"Go bother Nick," I said.

"But you're my boyfriend," she whined. "You have to hang out with me."

"We are hanging out," I said, putting my arm around her. "We're sleeping."

"But I want to go see The Notebook. It comes out today," she sighed.

"Dani, it's 11 o'clock. I'm sure there's a later show time we can go to," I said.

"Come on," she whined.

"Later."

"But—"

"Nope."

"Joe."

"No."

"Please."

"Sorry."

"Ugh," she groaned, facing me. My eyes were closed. I was drifting off again, Dani in my arms. It was perfect. Well until she grabbed my hair and screamed in my ear. "Joseph Adam Jonas, GET UP!"

"Ahh," I screamed, jumping up. "Fine," I grumbled. "I'll go. But you're buying me popcorn."

"Okay," she grinned.

"And a slurpee," I said. "A big, strawberry one."

"Alright."

"And I want tootsie rolls, and . . twix," I added.

"I'll get you all the snacks you want," she rolled her eyes. "Now hurry up, the previews start in half an hour and they're the best part."

"Half an hour," I gasped. "Why didn't you wake me before?" I smirked as she threw my pillow at me.

"You have to eat something," my mom fussed as she handed me the container. "Starving yourself isn't going to help Dani."

I sighed, eating silently. I wasn't hungry, but if it kept my mom sane, I could do it. I thought back to when everything had been fine, when there was no baby, no worries, no troubles. Dani and I were so in love, and everything was perfect.

Let's watch a movie," she suggested, leaning against me on the couch.

"Okay," I said. "Which on—" I was cut off as Dani climbed onto my lap, facing me. Her lips were on my throat.

"You pick," she whispered against my neck.

"I hate hospitals," Nick mumbled.

"What is taking so long," Blair demanded. "I'm going to go find out." She stormed to the nurse, and a few minutes later, a security guard was bringing her back.

"Try to keep her here please," he said. "She's threatening the staff."

"What did you say," Kevin asked her when he left.

"Oh Doris knew I was kidding," Blair mumbled.

"Blair," he smiled.

"I kindly asked her if they were done with Dani yet," she said innocently.

"And?"

"And when she said she didn't know, I told her she better find out before I make her a few inches shorter."

Despite the situation, we all laughed a little. But then the I.C.U. door opened, and the doctor walked out. We all sobered up, standing to hear the verdict.