We Couldn't Change It If We Tried

"Is she okay," I asked, my voice getting caught in my throat.

The doctor sighed, smiling at us. "We were able to save both the mother and the baby," he said.

I fell to my knees as everyone sighed in relief, expressing their joys. "Can I – can I see them?"

The doctor's expression turned pain. "Before you get your hopes up, the mother's condition was extremely bad."

"Bad how," Blair demanded.

The doctor looked at her, scared for his life. "There was a lot of internal bleeding, and she's lost a lot of blood."

"But you said you saved her," Nick said.

"We did," he said. "But we don't know if it was a – permanent thing."

"Permanent," Blair scoffed. "You act like you just restored the batteries into something. This is my fucking baby sister. Now, is she going to be okay or not?"

He sighed, backing away slightly. "I – don't know. I'm sorry."

Kevin put his arms around Blair, restraining her as she lunged for the doctor. I sighed. "Can I see my family now," I asked, more firmly this time.

The doctor nodded. He looked timidly at Blair.

"You go first," Nick said to me. "You can go alone."

I nodded, following the doctor to the room. They gave me a pair of green scrubs to wear, handing me my child. She fit in the palm of my hand. I smiled, looking at my daughter. Dani had been wrong about it being a boy, but oddly enough, this was the one contest I wasn't happy to win. "Can I see her too," I heard Dani whisper from her bed.

I gasped, walking over to her. "Dani," I cried, tears coming freely. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she smiled at me weakly. She looked at our daughter. "Can I – hold her?"

I looked at the nurse, who was watching us, smiling. "Sure, but you'll have to help her dear."

I nodded, handing her to Dani, my hands still holding her. "She's so beautiful," she sighed.

"Of course," I smirked. "She's from my side of the family."

Dani laughed before bursting out in a fit of coughs. I quickly moved the baby away, handing her to the nurse. "Dani, baby, please be okay."

Danielle smiled at me, putting her hand on my cheek. She looked so weak, so fragile. I didn't even want to hold her too tightly, fearing I'd crumble her. "Joe," she said, her voice even weaker than her appearance. "I love you so much. You've made me the—" she paused to cough. "The happiest person on this planet. I – I can't even imagine my life without you."

I tried to smile. "At least without me, you wouldn't be in a hospital. Your life would be normal."

She shrugged. "Without you, it wouldn't be much of a life."

I sighed, kissing her. "Dani, I love you." Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I made no attempt to wipe them, no attempt to hide my pain. "I – I can't go on without you."

"You have to," she whispered. "Joe, if I don't – if I don't make it now, you—"

"Stop it," I snapped. "You're going to make it. I'm not going to let you go."

Tears were falling down her white cheeks. She had no color in her face. She had no color in her body. "Please Joe. Please listen to me now." She coughed, sighing in pain. "I – I can't fight this anymore. It's too much. I'm losing this one Joe."

"No you're not. We're going to win this Dani," I said, clutching her hand. "I'm not going to let us lose."

"Joe," she sighed. "I love you so much. Please, you have to let me go now."

"No," I shouted. "I'm going to be selfish Dani. I'm not going to let you go."

"Please Joe," she begged, her voice becoming more faint. "Please. You have to take care of—" She gasped, taking a deep breath. "You have to take care of Jersey. For me Joe. Please?" I nodded, unable to say anything. She smiled at me. "Thank you. Please tell her about me, okay? I want her to know her mother."

"You'll be there to tell her yourself Dani," I said firmly.

She sighed. "Joe, promise me this isn't the end for you."

"What," I gawked at her. Did she really think my life would continue without her?

"Joe, you're 19 years old. You have your whole life ahead of you. Promise me."

"I – I can't do that Dani," I said, my voice breaking. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said. "And that's why you have to. You have to go on for me, for our baby, for our family, for yourself."

"Dani, I'll never love anyone like I do you. It's not possible."

She smirked at me. "Please, you'll find someone else, someone better for you within a week, the stud that you are."

I smiled at her. "I am pretty studly, aren't I?"

She laughed – weakly. "Please Joe. Tell me you won't stop living. Even if I – I can't be here with you, I want you to go on – to live for the both of us."

I looked away. "How am I supposed to go on without you?"

"You'll find a way," she said. "You're Joseph Jonas. You'll bounce back. You always do."

"But this time, I don't want to."

"Joe please," she begged. "Please promise me this. I – I won't be able to go in peace if you don't."

"I promise Dani." My voice broke, tears staining my cheeks. "I'm going to miss you so much baby."

"Ha," she laughed. "You'll forget me within a week."

"Never," I promised. "You're my other half, my life, my everything. And we have our blood pact, remember?" I smiled weakly.

"Oh yeah," she giggled. "We always really were one."

"And we always will be," I squeezed her hand. "You are my everything Danielle."

"Now Jersey can be your everything," she said.

"I love you so much Dani."

"I love you too Joey. Can you tell Blair," she paused. "Tell Blair that I'm sorry for giving up. Tell her I love her. That to me, she is my mother. Tell her that I am so grateful for everything she's ever done for me." I nodded. "Tell Kevin that I said he should build me a monument because I'm his favorite little sister. Tell him that I'll be back to haunt him if he doesn't." I smiled weakly. "And Nick," she sighed. "Tell Nick that I love him so much. He's my little brother in every sense of the word. And tell him that if he ever grows his hair into the gross fro thing he had, I'll haunt him too. And trust me, it won't be pretty."

I laughed. "Are you planning on being a ghost, love?"

She smirked. "Please, I'm going to be the baddest, hottest ghost around."

I laughed, kissing her. "I promise. I'll tell them all." I squeezed her hand. "Dani, please, I'm begging you. Don't leave me."

She smiled at me. "Sorry babe, but it's time to go our separate ways. It was fun."

I smiled slightly, remembering the reference. "That's no fair. I'm supposed to say that to you."

"You know, I really was lucky to be with someone like you."

"No," I said, again, remembering the reference. "I'm the lucky one."

"I love you Joseph Adam Jonas," she took a deep breath. It felt like her last.

"I love you Danielle Marie Touchstone," I buried my head into her body as she closed her eyes – forever. Tears poured out, my sobbing loud and uncontrolled. I was broken, my heart, my mind, my body. Every part of me grieved for the girl in the bed. The girl that had stolen my heart that had made my life whole. Now she was gone, and I was left broken. She had taken my heart with her, and I knew with her it would stay.

"No," I heard Blair scream. I turned to the door, seeing my family standing there, all in tears. They ran to Dani, their sorrow paining me even more.

"Joey," Dani said as she sat down next to me on our special tree in the backyard. We were 12, and it was two years before Dani left for California.

"Yeah Fanny," I said.

"Do you ever think about the future," she asked.

"Yeah," I smirked at her. "I'm always wondering what my mom's going to make for breakfast the next day."

Dani giggled, rolling her eyes. "I'm serious."

I shrugged. "Sometimes," I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. Even this, this wasn't unusual for us. We were best friends, bonded by our secret blood pact that no one knew about. That we had taken when we were 9. Dani had accidentally cut her palm on a rock while chasing me. She was crying so much that I cut my own palm and held it against hers, promising to always be there for her.

"What do you think about," she asked.

I shrugged again. "I don't know. I think that I'll be a famous comedian, like Jim Carey."

"He's an actor," she giggled.

"But he's funny," I said, smirking. "And that's what I'm going to do with my life. I'm going to make people laugh. What do you think about?"

"I want to be a famous singer," she said. "I want to sing for the thousands of people who come to see me. I want to perform for them."

"Hey, I can be the comedy act for your concert," I said, smirking.

She giggled. "Okay. So, do you think we'll be friends then? In the future?"

"Friends," I laughed. "Psh, you're going to e begging me to be with you. And I'll have to kindly tell you you have to let me go."

"Oh really? Just like that," she asked, smirking.

"No, it'll be something like, Sorry babe, but it's time to go our separate ways. It was fun."

She laughed. "Okay thank you for the kind dismissal."

"I'm just kidding Dani," I hugged her. "Knwoing us, we'll probably end up married or something."

"Ew like I'd ever marry you," she made a face.

"Oh please," I rolled my eyes. "You'd be lucky to be with someone like me."

"Yeah, yeah, cause you're so great, right," she rolled her eyes.

"Psh yeah," I smirked. "Either way, it's you and me till the end, right?"

"The end of time," she smiled.

And the end of our time was here. Dani was gone. Now and forever. I would never see her bubbly face again. I would never wake up with her in my arms, never hold her, never kiss her, never see her. She was really gone. All our promises to each other, all our hopes, our dreams, they were never going to come true. She would never sing again, perform for the fans she loved. She would never open her eyes again. And I realized that we couldn't change it if we tried. This was the end.

"She's beautiful," my mother said, holding my daughter. "She looks just like Danielle."

"What are you going to name her," my dad asked.

"Jersey," I said, repeating Dani's name for her.

"Why Jersey," my mom asked me.

"It's what Dani wanted," I said, taking my daughter, my everything, in my hands. I lightly kissed her forehead "That's where it all began."