The Last Laugh

Why didn't he take me with him? What's wrong with me? I thought I was special because of all the things he did for me. Was their some hidden meaning to what he said? Keep on smiling…keep on smiling…keep on smiling…

I was at the police department, sitting on the floor near one of the officer's desks. Lieutenant Gordon was trying to talk to me, but I didn't hear him. I only heard myself and my thoughts.

The phone rang. I didn't even notice. Keep on smiling…keep on smiling…

Gordon's POV:

There was something wrong with this girl. For the passed three hours I've been trying to talk to her and get some more information. The sun was already beginning to rise.

She was just staring, staring at the ground with a confused yet crazed look on her face. Ever now and then she would mumble: "Keep on smiling…" And then she would drift back off into her thoughts. It must've been something The Joker said to her. She was still in her masquerade costume, but her hood was down, revealing blond pigtails. Her mask was on the floor next to her. Occasionally she would tap her fingers on it, filling the silent room up with little taps.

In the back of my mind, I knew she wasn't the victim. She wasn't afraid of him, more like the opposite. She was a good little actress; fooled the rest of the officers. Or maybe they were all distracted by her good looks. She was a beautiful young lady, but I wasn't attracted to people like her. She used people. What's got her so frazzled?

The phone rang, and the officer at the desk answered it.

"Lieutenant?" he called out to me with a mouth-full of donuts. I wearily raised my head to look at him. "There's been a bank robbery. Say it was The Joker."

I jumped out of my seat. "Do we have him?"

The officer put the receiver to the phone and repeated the question. He shook his head and said: "We've got some of his henchmen, but they're all dead."

I sighed, and rubbed my temples. "I guess we'll have to go down and check it out. Rogers, you stay here and watch after Ms. Quinzel."

Rogers nodded his head and continued eating his donut, putting down the phone.

Harleen's POV:

It didn't come to my attention that Gordon had left until who knows how long, but the sun was now on the opposite side of where I last saw it. It had to been several hours ago.

I was starting to come to my senses, but my mind was still a whirlwind of thoughts. Keep on smiling…

An idea hit me.

Did he want me to PROVE myself to him?

I could be a psychotic killer, too. I could rob banks. I could plant bombs. I could do all of that. I could be like HIM.

I looked around the room and all I saw was a desk, the donut-eating officer, and a pair of scissors. Big, sharp, orange, scissors. Slowly, I crept underneath the desk so Big Boy here wouldn't see me. I waited a few minutes for him to realize I was gone, and when he did, he stood up and walked around to where I was previously sitting. I slid into his chair and quickly grabbed the scissors from the cup of pencils. I waited for him expectantly. He finally saw me, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"You scared me!" he said, wiping his sweaty forehead with his meaty hands. "I thought you'd ran away or something. The Lieutenant would kill me!"

He walked back over to his chair and asked me if he could have his seat back. I was thoughtful for a moment.

"Of course!" I said, and then held my finger up. "But first you have to answer a few questions."

"Well, um, ok, I guess so," he mumbled uncertainly. He rested his hand on the desk.

"How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?" I asked. He was thoughtful.

"You can't," he said. I held my finger up once more.

"Of course you can!" I told him. "Take out all of the things inside the fridge, and put him in there. Strike one!"

I lashed out she scissors at his hand and cut off his thumb, his index finger, and his middle finger. He held his hand in pain and hunched over it. The officer was screaming wildly. I stood up and walked around him.

"Next question!" I shouted, twirling the scissors in my hands. "How would you put an elephant in the fridge?"

His response was a moan.

"Wrong, again, tubby," I said, and kicked him to the ground so that his head collided with the stone wall. He let go of his hand and held his bloody head instead. He was still screaming, louder and louder. "You take out the giraffe and put the elephant inside of it."

"Next question," I hummed, leaning against the wall where he lay. He was now whimpering as he stared at me with terrified eyes. "All the animals were having a big banquet. One animal didn't show up. Who was it?"

"The c-c-cat?" he answered hopefully. I looked down at him sadly and shook my head.

"No, I'm afraid not. You're thinking of the Chinese Zodiac!"

I cut his Santa Clause-like stomach three times. Blood began to stain his uniform. His screaming was getting annoying. I put the scissors up to his mouth.

"You better quiet down now," I warned him, putting more pressure into the scissors. "Your cries are giving me a headache."

He closed his eyes and bit his lip.

"Good boy," I praised him, rubbing his head. "If you live, I'll give you a cookie."

His eyes snapped open and he looked at me once again with wide, terrified eyes. He continued his moaning.

"Last and FINAL question," I told him. "This one is worth 90% of your final grade. Now, there is a river that is home to lots of alligators. How do you cross it?"

He simply gaped at me. I made a loud noise that sounded like a buzzer.

"Unfortunately for you, you are once again INCORRECT," I shrieked the last word and him and giggled. "Sorry, but you failed the final exam. Ta-ta!"

I put the scissors up to his throat and sliced it open, watching excitedly as the blood came pouring out like lava from a volcano. His moaning ceased and he lay there limp, his body leaning against the wall. I threw the scissors down and patted myself on the back. I was rather proud of myself. I turned to the door expectantly, waiting for The Joker to jump into the room and applaud me for a job well done. No one came. My eager smile turned into a frown. I stomped my foot angrily. I stormed out the door and walked out into the darkening night.

I raised my bloody hand and placed it on the building beside me, wiping the blood off and leaving a red streak. No one was out.

My face was in the form of a scowl. What else could he want me to do? What else COULD I do?

I looked up at the building and saw that it was an apartment building. I smiled.

"There must be plenty of families living in such a poor residence," I said to myself slyly. "Maybe I could help them out."

Gordon's POV:

I walked back into the station at about seven o'clock, and I immediately knew something was wrong. Harleen was nowhere in sight. Rogers was lying down the floor. I moaned and walked over to him, kicking his side. Some sort of red liquid stuck to my black shoe. I leaned in closer to him and saw that he was covered in blood. His throat had been slit, his stomach cut open, and three fingers were missing on his right hand.

"God DAMN it!" I roared and pounded my fist onto the wall. The Joker must've done something to him, and then taken Harleen. He must've left his card here somewhere. I began crawling on the floor looking for it, when all of the other officers entered the room. They all gasped in surprise.

"Lieutenant, what happened?" One of them asked fearfully, already knowing the answer.

"The Joker was born," I mumbled angrily.

The phone rang again, and the officer that spoke answered it.

"Hello?" he said into the receiver. "Good god. We'll be right over." He hung up the phone. "Lieutenant?"

"What?" I snarled at him.

"Someone broke into a nearby apartment building," he began. "Whoever it was killed all of the residence."

"How close?"

"Two buildings away from here."

I stood up resignedly, propping myself up onto a chair. This was too much for me.

"They said that all they found was a trail of little bells leading from the doorway and up the stairs," he continued, rubbing his hands through his hair.

The little light bulb went off in my head.

"Good lord," I mumbled to myself. "It wasn't The Joker. It was Harleen Quinzel."