The Last Laugh

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BATMAN, THE JOKER, HARLEY QUINN OR ANY OTHER BATMAN CHARACTERS MENTIONED. SOME SCENES FROM MOVIE, OR TRIED TO BE FROM MOVIE. NOT MINE.

A low laughter began to fill the room. The men gazed around fearfully, wanting to know where it was coming from. Slowly, the laughter grew and grew, until the source had entered the room of mob dealers.

"Who the hell are you?" Gamblor demanded to know of this strange new presence.

The men greeted this man cautiously and nervously.

"I know why you choose to have your little…" The Joker stopped and coughed, taking a seat at the table. "Group therapy sessions in broad daylight. I know why you're afraid to go out at night." He paused. "The Batman."

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off," Gamblor threatened him, sending one of his guards toward the psychotic clown.

The Joker replied with: "How about a magic trick?" he pulled out a pencil and stabbed it into the table, forcing it to stand straight up.

"I'm gonna make this pencil disappear." The Joker took Gamblor's guard and slams his head into the pencil. "Ta-daa! It's... it's gone."

"You're crazy." The Gamblor muttered, disgusted.

"I'm not. No, I'm not." The Joker repeated. "Now, let's wind the clocks back a year. These cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you. I mean, what happened? Did your-did your balls drop off?"

"If it's so easy, why haven't you done it?" one of the mobsters shouted out.

"If you're good at something," The Joker began. "Never do it for free."

"How much do you want?" the same mobster asked. The Joker looked at him.

"Half," he declared plainly.

"Do you really think that we would let some…some," Gamblor thought of what to say. "Freak in a cheap costume steal from us and walk away?"

"Yeah," The Joker stated simply. "Oh, and by the way, the suit, it wasn't cheap. You oughta know, you bought it."

"I think we should just kill him now," Gamblor announced, and was backed up with a couple of grunts of approval.

A giggle reverberated off the walls, sending chills down the entire mob's backs. The Joker looked around curiously, checking to see if the sound had come from his pocket her from inside his jacket.

A black gloved hand appeared on his left leg, and then a red gloved one on his right. Slowly, from the small space in-between the Joker and the table, a slim body slithered out and onto the table.

Her face was fully covered with white make-up, and her eyes were surrounded with black, making her look like a burglar. Her lips were outlined and filled in with black. The girl had a full-bodied costume on with long black boots. The costume was almost like a checkerboard, but only of four squares; two red and two black, lying diagonally from each other.

If any of the mobsters were afraid a second ago, they weren't afraid now. They looked at her with interest and desire.

The Joker stared her boredly, as if this sort of thing happened everyday.

The whole time, the two didn't look away from each other. The girl had a big, mischievous smile on her painted face.

"You don't want to kill Mr. Jay," the girl sang happily. She did a backwards somersault into a handstand, and then proceeded to land perfectly on her feet.

"He's amazing!" she shouted, and waved her hands up in the air in an arc as if it would have proven her point. She squealed and spun on her heel.

"Who's this sweetheart?" one of them asked, and reached out to stroke her leg.

She gave him an evil, dirty look when he touched her, and responded by kicking him in the chest. The guy let out a choked gag, and held the spot where he was kicked. Protruding from her shoe was a small knife, stained with blood. The man fell off the chair and onto the floor and died.

"Whoopsie!" she apologized, scratching the back of her head. "Forgot about that one."

The Joker sighed, and put his index finger up. He curled and uncurled it, indicating for her to go to him.

"Harley," The Joker said, as if he were talking to a five year old that had just done something wrong.

She immediately stopped what she was doing and looked at him.

"Come here," he said in the same tone. She smiled at him and bowed, doing a cartwheel when she was finished. She landed with a slight 'plop' next to his chair.

"Yeah?" she asked obediently.

"I've got some business to attend to," he told her, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the door gently. "Would you be a peach and go wait out by the van?"

Before she could answer, Gamblor said, "How about I pay five hundred thousand dollars to whoever brings him dead, and two million for the BOTH of them," he paused and grinned at Harley. "Alive. That way I can teach him a lesson and get a good piece of ass at the same time."

Her giggling was in the air again.

The Joker turned his head towards Gamblor, slowly.

"It's not polite to talk about another man's woman," he said slowly. Harley squealed in delight.

Gamblor snapped his fingers and two body guards went after the two of them.

The Joker opened his coat to reveal a setup of grenades on a string, and started to tug on it.

"Ah ta ta ta," he warned him, gesturing at the string. "Let's not 'blow' things out of proportion."

The guards backed away immediately.

"Look," he continued. "Why don't you give me a call when you want to start taking this a little more seriously? Here's my card." He reached into his jacket and pulled out a playing card, resting it lightly on the table. Harley leaned on the door frame and arched her back impatiently, looking elegant all the while.

The Joker backed up and out of the door, but Harley remained. She held up her hand and dropped something on the floor, causing the room to be filled with an explosion of smoke. The mobsters coughed and waved their hands, trying to clear the smoke away. When it finally did, she was gone.

The Joker grabbed Harley's neck and slammed her harshly on the wall of the alleyway. His knife was out in a second.

"Well hello there, DOCTOR," he said slyly, tracing his lips with his tongue and her face with the blade. "Good to see you again. I missed you."

She giggled. "Yeah, but I missed you more! Especially since you LEFT me at the masquerade. If I wasn't so clever, the police would've arrested me for something or other. Gordon never trusted me."

"Wonderful story cupcake," he said, pressing the knife harder and harder. She giggled louder and louder. "But you were more fun to play with when you were my doctor. I have no use of you now."

The atmosphere changed.

"Then do it," she said, her tone the complete opposite of what it was a second ago. This time, she spoke with a ruthless voice. "Kill me."

She said this with a devilish grin on her face.

He grinned. "That's what I want to hear!" he said, removing himself and the knife from her.

He stalked away from her and she toddled up to his side.

"What now boss?" she asked exuberantly.

"For me to know," he said, looking down at her.

"And for me to find out, yeah, yeah," Harley moaned, rolling her eyes.

"Not exactly," he said thoughtfully, and grabbed her wrist severely. "Did you know, that everything you do has a consequence? Good or bad?"

She looked up at him curiously, but not frightened.

"Well they do," he said, tired of waiting for her answer. "Like, for example, me playing my little game with you, this was MY consequence. You turning into this. Now," he paused, licking his lips. He took out his knife once again and sliced her upper arm open, cutting easily through her costume. She let out a little yip of pain.

"Your consequence," he told her nonchalantly, and tapped her head.

He threw her arm down again, and left her, continuing back to his awaiting white van.

"WAIT!" she cried out desperately, almost pitifully, clutching her new bleeding arm. "Why won't you take me with you? Haven't I proved myself to you?"

He didn't stop, didn't turn around, but opened the sliding door and jumped inside. He didn't even giver her one last look before closing the door.

Harley slumped against the wall and slid down pathetically. She didn't understand what she had done wrong. In a way, she was like him.

'No,' she thought to herself. 'I'm not like him. He's a genius. I'm nothing but a clown. A wannabe clown.'

She sat in silence until the sun, that was just over head, sunk deep behind the numerous buildings. Nobody seemed to notice her as she wasted away.

"Maybe," she said aloud. "Maybe this is what he wanted all along. This was how he destroyed people."

But the sad part, and she knew it, was that it wasn't that hard to push her. She gave away to him almost immediately.

"I'm so pathetic!" she wined, lifting up her hood and revealing her blond pigtails.

She jumped up angrily.

"This isn't over!" she screamed loudly, and stomped her foot multiple times. "He didn't destroy me! I'm still here! I'm still sane! Well, partially."

She looked up into the sky and saw the bright, white spot shining in the sky. The sign of the flying rat. The one that had thrown her boyfriend in jail.

"Hey, babe," a low, hoarse voice said from behind her.

She turned around slowly to see who had spoken. It was a middle-aged man, and he was wearing a black leather jacket. She couldn't tell what else he was wearing, due to the fact that it was much darker out. He was bald, as far as she could tell, and much bigger than she was. He went up to her and roughly grabbed her around the waste. She looked at him emotionlessly. Then an idea struck her.

"Quick question!" Harley said, trying to push him away from her. He began kissing her exposed neck. "Now, now, now! I was just wondering, do you by any chance work for a mob boss? Or a gang?"

He didn't stop kissing her.

"Please answer my question," she said, not so sweetly. When he didn't respond, she swung her leg over her head and kicked him in the neck, pinning him to the alleyway wall.

"I said please!" she said harshly. He attempted to remover her foot, but she held it in place firmly. "Don't test me. I test you."

"No," he mumbled, stopping his attempt at escaping.

"Good boy!" Harley squealed, delighted. "I'm not the police or anything, so you better not be lying. Oh, and do you have any friends?"

He eyed her curiously.

"If you get some of your buddies to help me," her voice changed from bright and happy, to seductive. "I'll give you anything you want."

His curiousness went away and he smiled, reaching out for her. She put her hand out to stop him.

"Uh, uh, uh!" she said, her normal voice returning. "Not yet. You still have to do what I ask. But!"

She went and kissed him, long and hard.

"Half now," she said, removing her foot. "Half later."