You Are Nothing What You Seem

"So, Jane, how's life treating you?" Adam asks.

Isabel and I are sitting in Cassy's living room, hanging out after Exit 42's practice.

I make a face, thinking about Alex using my bathroom, sleeping in my house, eating my food. "Life at the moment is pretty fucked up."

"Why, what's going on?" Cassy asks.

"Alex's mom and my mom are in the same book club," I explain. "So they're both going to Europe, his parents and mine. His mom was worried about leaving him home alone, so my mom volunteered Noah to babysit. Alex is staying at my house for the rest of the summer."

"Sucks to be you," Shawn says.

I glare over at him, sitting in a chair in the corner. "You think?"

He laughs. "Sorry."

I sigh, leaning back against the couch. "And Now Isabel's got me into a gotcha war with him."

"You were right," Cassy says. "Your life is fucked up."

"What time is it?" Jayce asks.

I pull out my phone, but for I can look at the display for the time, it starts buzzing in my hand. I glance at the number before answering. "What, Noah?"

"Alex needs a house key," He says.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"His job has him out late. He needs a key so that we don't have to wait around to let him in when he gets back."

"So get him a key," I say. It's a simple solution.

"I can't, I'm working. He's on his way to pick you up so you can get him one."

"I hate you," I say venomously. Noah just laughs and hangs up. I hang up, too. "I have to go."

"Why?" Isabel asks.

"I have to get Alex a key to my house," I say, annoyed.

I've hardly gotten the words out when a car pulls into Cassy's driveway and honks. I stand up and wave gloomily as I leave. "Bye."

I walk slowly to Alex's car, dragging my feet. Alex honks again.

Geez, someone's impatient today.

"Hey, dollface," Alex says as I get into the car.

I let the stupid name slide. I wouldn'twant be able to get him to stop, anyway. "So, you need a key."

"Looks that way," He says, backing out of Adam's driveway.

"Would you mind if I put music on?" I ask, reaching for the radio.

"You would turn it on even if I said yes," He replies.

"Yep," I say simply. I turn on the radio and put it straight to whatever CD Alex has in.

Fast Times At Barrington High, the new album from The Academy Is… blasts through the speakers. My eyes bug a little. "Woah."

Alex glances over at me. "What?"

"Nothing, I'm just surprised," I say.

"At what?" he sounds exasperated.

I smile a small smile. "I actually like the music you have."

"Oh," He says.

We fall into silence. It's not an awkward silence, but it's not really a comfortable silence, either. The air is thick with tension.

I look down at Alex's hand, resting lightly on the gearshift. His hand looks strong; I can see the muscles in his thin arm. He has long fingers.

I feel an inexplicable urge to hold his hand, to press my palm to his and to thread those long fingers with my own.

Maybe I'm sick.

"Here we are," Alex announces. He parks the car outside the hardware store, and I get out as soon as the engine is off.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"It's like five-thirty, why?" Alex asks, getting out of the car.

I shrug. "Just wanted to know."

"Whatever," He says. He reaches the door before I do, and holds it open. "After you, dollface."

It's different when Alex holds the door for me. It's not the same as when Dylan held it for me. Maybe it's the smirk on Alex's face when he says 'dollface'. Maybe it's because of his casual arrogance. Whatever the reason, I don't mind when Alex holds the door.

I even say 'thank you'.

Once inside, we walk up to the key counter. Alex looks at the display of keys, and after only a moment, says "I want this one." He picks up a white key with a round top.

"Snazzy," I say, pulling my keys out of my pocket. I take my own house key off the ring and put it down on the counter, next to the white key Alex picked out. The pretty girl working behind the counter walks up and I say "We need a copy of this key."

"Sure thing," She says, picking up both keys. She winks at Alex as she turns.

Something hot and dark boils up inside me. It's not jealousy, is it? Fuck no. Maybe envy…yes, I know they're almost the same thing. But maybe I'm envious of Alex, having someone to wink at him. Yeah. That's gotta be it.

Alex looks down at me and snorts. I glare up at him. "What?"

He shakes his head, grinning. "Nothing, you just look like you've swallowed a porcupine or something."

"Shut up," I growl. The feeling inside me grows when I notice that Alex has turned to stare at the key girl's ass.

What is wrong with me?