Loser, Whatever!

The next four months plodded by as if time were in the hands of the slowest slug on Earth. I just wanted to get out of school! This was my last year, why was it taking so long?

The memories of the summer I found to be too painful. In time, I learned to shut my mind off when I remembered the times I had with Oliver Wood. I knew I could never be with him again, so it was no use remembering the happiest days of my life.

I was an empty shell. I was there physically, but that was the extent. My mind was elsewhere and my mother wrote to complain that my letters were basically the same things over again. I didn't care. My life had been torn apart, there was nothing left to live for. My parents suggested taking me out of school. I didn't want to go back to them, they were responsible for the way I was right now. My grades were good enough, they were all I had to keep my mind off other things.

Christmas came and I decided to stay at Hogwarts as opposed to returning home. I knew I would never go back to that place. It no longer felt welcoming. It never did, but now worse than ever. Teachers talked to me about future careers and I eventually decided on Healing. If I couldn't help myself, I might as well help others. The training was only two years and I had the grades.

When Christmas was over, school returned to normal. No one paid me anymore attention, and the girls no longer teased me. I had my fifteen minutes of fame, however agonizing it had been. Those next six months were long, I don't remember anything about them, I was empty. I busied myself with studies and my grades were higher than ever, I had nothing else to do but study.

Graduation came and went. I barely noticed. The next thing I knew, I was enrolled in the Kent University of Healing. I didn't return home as I vowed. It was no longer what I considered home. I made my mind up to start fresh.

The summer was short, my birthday brought fresh memories and tears I couldn't avoid no matter how hard I tried. I still had the bracelet he gave me, but I never even looked at it for fear of breaking down. There were no studies to keep my mind off everything. I rented a house in Kent close to the school for the summer, hoping that something would come up. I didn't have much money, barely enough to get me though university. Luck was in my favour that summer when I received the following letter:

'Dearest Bridgette,

I want you to know that I'm truly sorry for what happened almost a year ago, I wish I had controlled your father better. Now, there's not much for me to do.

Professor Dumbledore has informed me that you are attending Kent University and you are renting there this summer. I know you don't have much money, so I took it upon myself to withdraw the amount your father and I had saved for your post-Hogwarts education. I am enclosing the key to the account I created and every last knut is there.

Don't write back, your father still thinks he did the right thing, and in a way, I do too. As parents, it's out job to protect you from people like Oliver. Anyway, I don't think your father would approve of me sending you this much money, it's almost as if we have disowned you. We understand now that you are overage and have every right to live without us.

Visit soon!

Mum'

I almost crumpled the letter in my fist, but I remembered the key was still enclosed. I fished it out of the envelope and then threw the note in the fireplace. I gazed at my empty cupboards and decided a trip to Diagon Alley was in order, I needed money and food. And to figure out how much exactly was in this account.

As it turned out, there was a very decent amount of cash in my new vault at Gringotts. It was more than enough to pay my way through university, if I hadn't already paid for it. Now I could pay for my rent and food until I finished school and could support myself. I wished now that I hadn't thrown the note out.

The first semester of university started on September the first. I was determined to put a smile on my face and act as if everything in my life was normal.

"Say, do I know you from somewhere?" I wheeled around and there before me was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. He had blonde hair down to his ears, a larger nose, beautiful complexion. He had bright blue dancing eyes, a clean-shaven face and a muscular build. He was wearing the uniform for the university, but somehow, the lavender and gold didn't look as bad on him as on every other student. It took me a while before I could answer, but he was patient.

"I don't think so." I answered.

"Really? You look very familiar, are you sure?" Ah, now I knew. People had been giving me this look for a while, as if they recognized me but couldn't quite place me. They knew me from the Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly, but it had been so long.

"Positive." I replied, starting to get a little uncomfortable.

"I'm Rick Stewart." He stuck his hand out and smiled a beautiful dazzling white smile.

"Bridgette Eisenberg." I shook his hand. Again, recognition hit his face, but he couldn't place me.

"Are you a first year student here?" He asked.

"Yeah, you?"

"Yep. I'm from Beaubatons." He supplied.

"Hogwarts, you don't look very French." I pointed out and immediately regretted it. He just laughed.

"I'm not, my parents decided it would be good for me to learn a second language, so off to Beaubatons I went."

"Oh, well that's kind of cool." I mumbled. I really hadn't been much of a people person this past year.

"Kind of, not really cool?" He smirked. I just shrugged my shoulders, "Who do you have first?"

I glanced at the timetable in my hand, "Connelly."

"Same here, if you want, I'll walk you." He offered. I thought. I did want to make a fresh start, and this guy was making it to easy, maybe he was my ticket out of this depression.

"That would be great." I answered. He offered me his arm and we walked to class together.

We managed to find seats next to each other just before the bell rang, signaling the start of class. Professor Connelly proved to be quite interesting for an old guy. I took notes and managed to keep my mind of the things I had been trying to keep my mind off all summer. Rick was really nice, he showed me to all my classes, no matter if we had them together or not. I wondered how he knew where everything was seeing as he had been here for about as long as I had.

“Where are you staying?” He asked. Uh oh, should this be information I should give him? Again, I though back to my goal. I probably should, he seemed like the kind of guy that could distract me from him. I still couldn’t bear to think the name, for fear of it bringing fresh pain.

“A little cottage on Egerton Road.” I supplied hesitantly.

“You’re not staying on campus?” He looked disappointed.

“No, I can’t afford that, I’m kind of paying my way through university myself.” I explained.

“Oh, I understand, won’t your parents help you out financially?” He wasn’t being rude, he was just simply curious. I thought about my answer before I spoke.

“No, they disowned me.” That was the best answer I could come up with. Not entirely true, but true enough. He looked shocked.

“They did? You don’t seem the type.” The smile that usually inhabited his face had been replaced with a frown.

“Well, more or less. It’s complicated. I just left at the end of last summer and didn’t go back.” I elaborated.

“Ah, I understand.” He replied. I stopped in mid-stride.

“You do?” I demanded. He stopped a few paces ahead of me and wheeled so we were facing each other.

“Well, not really. Nothing that extreme has ever happened to me. But I don’t really have a great relationship with my parents either.” He explained. I started to walk and he matched his stride to mine.

“I guess I just tried to live my own life for a change, and they totally took over and ruined it.” I decided I might as well let it out. Rick seemed like the kind of guy I could trust.

“Now I know who you are! You went out with Oliver Wood last summer, didn’t you?” He stopped again and pointed a finger at me. I didn’t know how to react. It had been so long since I had heard his name, and I didn’t want to hear it, I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to hear it again. The name brought a fresh flow of memories to my head and I did the only thing that seemed sensible to me, which really, is not the most sensible thing any normal human being would do. I looked up at Rick with watering eyes, bent my head and ran. I didn’t know where I was running to, I wasn’t very familiar with campus, I just ran. I eventually made it outside and tried my best to ignore Rick’s calls of “Bridgette, wait! It’s okay!” But it wasn’t okay, it never would be, and I realized that now. Oliver was my life, he was the only person I could ever love. I had never stopped loving him. How cruel life is.

I tried to lose Rick once I got into the forest that surrounded the Kent U grounds. As soon as I could no longer hear Rick’s calls, I realized I didn’t know where I was, how I got here and how I would get out. I was hopelessly lost in the woods and Rick was nowhere to be heard. I sat on the ground with my back to a large oak tree, buried my face in my hands and cried.