Innocence to Experience.

"It's more like a promise ring..."

Oli trailed off, his eyes wandered the room, avoiding me completely. I stared at him, contemplating whether or not what I had heard was truth. Did he seriously have the intention to marry me? Did he really love me...enough to spend the rest of his life with me?

Before I had the chance to answer, my door creaked open, my mother's head popped through the opening. In that moment, my expression turned from confusion, to excitement, to confusion once again. Along with my mothers head, an envelope was placed through the door way, her shaking hand holding it. She was grinning.

"You have mail! From a school! Open it!" My mother dashed through the room, surprising both Oli and I. Both of us jumped about a foot when she landed on the bed with a loud thump.

Her thin shaking hands held out the off white paper, pushing it forward, encouraging me to open it. I had no idea what to do, only thoughts swam through my head. My mind had no intention to lead my hand to the object in her hand.

What about Oli and I? If I went to school, I wouldn't want to waste my mothers time and money, I'd want to be focused. I'd need to give up everything I'd gotten into. I'd more than likely would have to get rid of all distractions...I'd need to rid myself of Oli. I'd have to quit my new lifestyle that I had found to suit me.

But if I didn't go, I would disapoint my mother..

What if I didn't get in?

"When did you send applications out?" My voice was quiet, my hand slowly daring to grab my future. That small envelop held my whole future. My life with Oli, drugs, life with my mother, my career. I didn't even know what I wanted to do for a career anymore. My dreams had melted away over the month.

I aspired nothing but my drugs and Oli's touch.

Oli's promise ring grew even heavier upon my weakening finger.

"A month ago..."

I finally grabbed the envelope, tearing open the paper and letting my eyes scan over the black words that littered the page. My eyes watered with fear, sadness, and excitement.

"Congradualations...you've been accepted into Sheridan College..." My voice trailed off, letting the paper flutter away from my hands, landing ever so softly onto my bedsheets.

My mother instantly began to squeal, her tight grip wrapped around my shoulders in a moment. Over her shoulder I saw Oli, his lips smiling, his eyes growing distant. A tear finally slipped out of my eye, trying to imagine myself reaching out to Oli. I couldn't get to him. I couldn't touch him. He was out of reach.

Every time I swatted my arms towards him, my fingers trying to grab the fabric on his chest, he would move further back.

But that is what it was going to be like.

Oli would become something I just couldn't reach anymore. My old hopes and dreams, my mother, my school, they'd all hold me back from him.

I didn't want to leave him standing alone, I never wanted to see the heartbreak on his face.

My mother's arms dropped from my sides, still grinning. Noticing the depressing atmosphere, she patted my shoulder once and left the room. Once the door clicked, my hands reached out to the one being I never wanted to let go of.

Oli's hands gripped my own, his strong, warm fists made me feel hope in seeing him after this was all over. He gave me hope.

Looking into his warm honey colored eyes, I let myself melt. I let myself memorize ever feature he had, every dimension. My other hand reached out and brushed along his jaw line, pulling him closer to me.

Once I entered his embrace I felt whole. My head buried itself into his chest, my finger tips gripping his shirt. More tears leaked, and eventually I began to sob.

The paper said school started in two weeks.