Innocence to Experience.

The day I left reminded me greatly of the day that Rose had left(and she'd never kept her promise of writing and/or visiting. I do believe she called once...).

My mother sat impaitently in her car, excitement and a bright happy smile radiating off of her and showering onto Oli and I as we both stood quietly and the end of my driveway. Those sparks of happiness could not penetrate our skin, or our hearts. I could barely look him in the eyes, not wanting to have to leave him. My lips could not even fathom the idea of saying 'good bye'.

The sun was bright that day, everything around me was shining brightly. If it was any other regular day, Oli's eyes would be shining, just as bright as the blazing sun. As he finally grabbed my chin and made me look at him, I witnessed the dullest beam of life I had ever seen.

"Things will get better, I promise you love. This is just a beginning of a wonderful life for you." My teeth found my lower lip, gnawing strong enough that I wouldn't tear the flesh. My thoughts jumbled around me for a few moments, trying to figure out what I was going to say, if anything at all. The obvious is what I said.

"My life is not wonderful without you."

Oli's sigh brushed past my face softly, my eyes fluttering from the calmness I felt. For a smoker, a drinker, and a druggie, his breath was never horrible to smell. He chews gum a lot, and takes care of himself(which I never chose to mention previously, I doubt anyone wanted to know about his small little habits).

"Love, you need to go now, you need to carry on a better life than this. You could be someone, I can't, I gave that up. You have this chance, you need to take it hun, you need too. I want to see you with a good job, I don't want you to be pathetic like me. Go now..."

My mouth immediatly opened in protest, but his hand covered it.

"No words, I love you, but get in the car." He grinned down at me, letting me know he didn't want to get rid of me by saying what he had. It wasn't meant to be harsh.

"I love you too. I'll call if I can alright?" Oli nodded, his thumbs rubbing up and down my cheeks.

My mother honked her horn, throwing little comments out her window, but I could have cared less. I needed time to get in that car, I needed that moment, my last moment with Oli.

With his eyes burnt into my memory like a brand on my brain, I leaned in for one last kiss. Just a soft loving kiss. Once we broke away, I walked quickly to the car. Before I knew it, my mother had left our property, my things packed away in the back seat and the trunk.

I refused to look into a mirror.

"What took you so long? You'll see the boy again, maybe. Besides, he's a bad influence. You could meet a better boy..." My mother turned a corner. My eyes stayed focused on the townhouses that passed.

"Oli wasn't going anywhere in life anyways, did you seriously believe you two would be together forever? I mean, I can't even picture that boy in a tux and with-" My fuse had blown.

"Mom! Would you stop!" The loudness of my yell cause my mother to jump, the car swirving to the side for a moment. My breathing had picked up, the silence in the car only being interupted by my sharp, stiff exhales. The grip I had on the door handle had caused my hands to turn bright red.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't even talk."

The rest of the drive to me school was silent. My breathing had evened out, my angry diminishing slowly.

My mum helped me bring my stuff to my room and left.

Thank god I had no room mate at the time, because a couple minutes after my mother had left, my eyes littered the floor with tears.