Welcome to Scandalous Scholastics 101

Lilly's View

"Eh, guys, we have...sex ed....next." I hated to be the one who had to say it, but I was. There was a pause.

"And I thought Gym would be bad," Annie mumbled. "This is like all of the school day, packed into one hour. Bad '69' jokes, graphic stick figures, fashion, waycest jokes, and the biggest perv in the school."

"The object of every one of Vicky-T's rants...." Sarah sighed, readjusting her bag on her shoulder.

"And the most sought after bachelor in the whole school," Jamie came up behind them. Everyone sighed.

"Hello, girls, wonderful to see you all." The man of the hour opened his classroom door for us.

"Mr. Urie," we mumbled in unison.

***

7th period: Sex Ed with Mr. Urie

***

"Welcome to Sexual Orientation! Er...education! Or, you know, Sex Ed." He smirked at us all, leaning against his desk. "Why do the seniors have to take it? Again? Well, because we like to send you guys out into the world prepared. We want to give you, ah," he paused, then coughed. "I want to give you some experience."

Cue the lip curl. I think it just got ten degrees hotter in here.

"Now, as much as I would love to be the overbearing teacher..." I think everyone in the class is going to have to see Chizz a little bit later, the swoon epidemic is quite underway- "...I believe in doing things in unusual ways. Creativity, free expression, curiosity...Experimentation...I never teach the same thing twice. No curriculum, no real homework, just bring a yearning to learn."

Uh, yeah, I think everyone's got this yearning. Just teach us already, damn it!

"Alrighty." He turned to the board and drew a slightly round figure. "For starters can anyone tell me what that is?"

Wow. It was a dick. I turned to Annie and she snickered.

Mr. Urie shifted his eyes all around the room. No one answered.

"It is a penis." He said. "I would show you mine" -he then laughed- "I bet you all can go over to Google, type Mr. Wentz's name, and you'll see quite a few interesting pictures."

No one laughed. Shame.

He gave out a nervous giggle. "Okay. Let's play a little game shall we?"

The girls straightened right up as he closed the door shut.

"We'll go around the room telling everyone about ourselves...and something sexual they did this summer." Mr. Urie sure knows how to be creative! "The person with the sexiest er...yeah, secret gets a special prize and what not."

Three girls raised their hands in the air to start. We all wanted to know what the 'special prize and whatnot' was...

We went around the room. There were secrets like "I kissed a girl" or "I made out with my best friend's sisters boyfriend" or even "I was called a sexual pervert".

Mr. Urie motioned for Annie to go. "Erm...I had a bi experiment in a pool?"

Eyes widened. It was funny. Hey, I was at that pool party...

"Lilly?"

Oh my god. I was the last one. Mr. Urie just said my name. My name. The name of Lilly. Geez, everyone was staring at me.

"Er...group orgy?" I stammered.

"Oh. Well, I think Lilly wins." Mr. Urie shifted his eyes. Note the sexual tension in the room about now...

"Oh, com'on!" Annie protested. "I kissed a girl in the pool! AS WELL AS SOME SKINNY DIPPING! And other stuff...."

"Group. Orgy. I've been in one. It's intense." Mr. Urie insisted.

"Ha. With Mr. Wentz and Mr. Ross and! Mr. Saporta, I assume," Jamie laughed.

"Nah, Mr. Ross would only be on Mr. Urie," Sarah snickered.

"I heard that." Mr. Urie pointed a finger at Sarah. He turned to me. "You'll get your 'prize' at the end of sex ed."

"Ooooh, gimme details later!" Annie pointed her finger at me threateningly. She lowered her voice. "And I was at that group orgy, that was the funniest thing ever. Seriously, you call watching Saw 6 or something a group orgy?"

"We were groping each other really hard. Fuck yeah!" I whispered back. She just grinned at me.

"So, girls, what I'm about to say will shatter everything you will have ever learned in school...." He paused, for dramatic effect. Cue the drama. "Sex leads to babies."

I swear, there was at least one stifled gasp.

"Now now, I know it's a real shocker, but I simply had to tell you. You will find that quite a few members of the er, student body, didn't learn that simple fact." He gave a sad shrug, still smirking a little from the whole 'student body' thing. Oh, yeah, Mr. Urie, you're sooooo funny. Actually, he kind of is.

"How are babies made, you ask? WHEN YOU DON'T SMACK YOUR BOYFRIENDS INTO USING CONDOMS!!! I KNOW YOU LOVE JUNO AND ALL, BUT YOU REALLY DON'T WANT A BUN IN THE OVEN!!" Mr. Urie waved his hand around and yelled, looking serious. "I'm still trying to find those blackberry condoms...."

"AHEM!!" Annie gave a loud cough, and he got distracted from his musings.

"Right! Sex! I was thinking about having a live demonstration for you all. I'd need a volunteer, of course, and...."

The whole class raised their hands.

"...but it looks like we're out of time! So sorry, ladies! Next class maybe? Ahh, Lilly, I'm sure you'd love to volunteer!"

"Dude! Mr. Urie was so gonna sex -- Oh. Mr. Urie." Sarah stammered.

"Well, I wanted to see Lilly. She received the prize after all."

"I WANNA SEE IT!" Annie screamed.

"It's a bit personal..." Mr. Urie started.

"So?" Jamie question.

"GET OUT!" Mr. Urie screamed. I blushed.

He sat down at his desk and motioned me over.

"So what. Do I get candy or something?" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh no no no. You get something sweeter then candy," He smiled and closed the door.

"Uh... Mr. Urie?" I managed not to stutter, or do something really stupid. Like stutter. 'Cause that would suck if I made a fool out of myself in front of Mr. Urie.

"Aww, some on girl, everyone calls me Brenny! Or Brendon! Brenny-poo! Or B-dog!"

"B-dog?''

"Eh, my rapper name, apparently."

"Wow. Pete or Gabe?"

"Travis, actually." He smiled, then frowned. "This isn't exactly how I imagined this...."

"Imagined what?" I asked innocently, still not stuttering. "B-dog?"

"Well, I never imagined luringyouintomyofficesoIcouldhavemywaywithyou, ah, yeah."

"I didn't catch a word of that..." I started for the door. He hurried over, and planted his skinny frame in between me and my exit.

"Words are overrated. I teach Sex Ed for a reason, babe." He snicked, then pouted. "I'm not done with you yet, you know."

"Mr. Urie, Brendon, B-dog, I've really got to go. I've got french with Mr. Ross next..."

"He won't mind." Again with that smirk! "I wanted to ask you something....Would you mind being my volunteer for the demonstration?"

"I, uh, I'm flattered," I lost it, I lost my cool. "But I wouldn't really know what to do on such a...demonstration..."

"Well, then, let me show you." Mr. Urie smirked, pulling me by my hand back over to his desk. My bag slipped from my shoulders, landing on the ground with a soft thump.

"I'll sit down like this, and you'll, ahh...."

With a small smile, he tugged me closer to his body, the core weight of it which was pressed against his large, sturdy desk, and brought me closer to him. Slowly tracing a muscle down my thigh, he pulled my leg to wrap around his soft hip. I felt kind of like that mouse you watch on the Discovery Channel, the one who gets eyed up by the snake, the one that sits mesmerized before it gets eaten.

This snake was going to eat me, though in a slightly different matter than those of the Discovery Channel's predators.

"I'm going to need you to participate in this exercise a little more, Miss Montaque," he mumbled into my ear, my body having been pressed closer to his. Aww, why not have a little fun, then.

"Okay, Mr. Urie." I managed a smirk, leaning in a little closer, tangling my fingers in his hair. "Whenever you feel ready to begin?"

He never really got around to answering. He moved to place a slight kiss under my right ear, nipping at th soft skin at the last second. I swallowed, and pulled on his hair, just to encourage him a little.

"So, Miss Montaque, why did you learn today?" My far too sexy Sex Ed teacher was making conversation while leaving a hickey on my lower neck? Well, that's odd. Well, we were only practicing our demonstration...wait, sex demonstration? What?

"I, er, I learned, uh, Mr. Stump taught us the breast stroke in gym today!" I blurted out, and proceeded to blush. Damn hormones. He chuckled a little, his hands wandering down past my hips, reaching bare skin.

"Mhh, I think I've perfected that one over the years..."

"Well, I'm not to great at it...I was never quite a swimmer."

"Neither was I."