Welcome to Scandalous Scholastics 101

"THANK GOD!" I flopped on the bed and grinned, propping myself up on my elbows. "SCHOOL IS DONE FOR THE FIRST DAY!!"

"Lilly..." Sas groaned. "We still have homework you know."

"Yeah, thanks to you I have extra homework," Annie dropped her pencil.

"So what has happening during Spanish?" I asked, "After staring at Mr. Ross's hot ass, I looked out the window and saw Mr. Saporta and Beckett just running across the lawn!"

"Well, Travy was jacking off to the security cams and you know rule #6786: Mr. Beckett is not allowed to be in the same classroom as Mr. Saporta? Well, Travy noticed and did it for giggles and grins." Annie shrugged and shoved her book out of the way.

"What do you thinks gonna happen?"

"WHO CARES! I JUST WANT MY PANTIES BACK!"

Glomp. This sucks.

"Hey guys, I was thinking of, like becoming a teacher." Sas grumbled. She always had the best grades.

"Really now?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, look at our teachers. They are horny lil' bitches. It must not be that hard." Sas shrugged and stood up to get her jacket.

"Oi! Where are you going?!" Annie sprung up.

"The counselor."

"WE'RE COMING TOO!" I giggled.

***
The Counselor's office a.k.a. the slave trap of Mr. Vengeance and Mr. Synyster
***

Rae stumbled out of the office as we were approaching, and Sas arched her eyebrows. Annie winked and gave to her a high-five, looking pointedly at her rumbled shirt and heavy breathing. I rolled my eyes and dragged her away into the lair. Gossip whore.

"Hello girls..." Mr. Vengeance smirked at them. Did my eyes deceive me, or was that pink on his collar part of Maybelline's new line of fruity-flavored lipgloss? Note-to-self: investigate later.....Oh, right, Rae....

"Sassy here wants to be a teacher, mostly 'cause she thinks she can get away with doing nothing for the rest of her life. And there was something about benefits?" Annie plopped down on one of Mr. Vengeance's uncomfortable chairs and winced. Sas smacked her over her head, but looked to Mr. Vengeance hopefully.

"Yeah, so I was just wondering about school and stuff. How much work do I have to do? Can I pay people to write my papers?" I snorted. Mr. Vengeance grinned, and the door opened behind us.

"Hey, I've got my eyes closed, so put in back in your pants or something.....Oh, she's gone..." Synyster edged into the room, breathing a sigh of relief. I not-so-subtly coughed, and Mr. Vengeance smirked.

"These ladies want to know how much slacking off they can do in college." Here he gestured to us. Syn went over to his desk, chuckling.

"The good old days...."

"That's for sure. They work us like dogs around here."

"ZACKY, DON'T TELL ME YOU DID IT ON MY DESK- What the fuck, Gabe?"

We all turned to look at where Syn was pointing, and sure enough, wedged between the wall and the couch was Gabe and his trash bag of panties.

"Dude, were you in here when I-"

"Saw it all."

"That is so-"

"I WANT MY FUCKING PANTIES BACK, YOU LATINO MAN-WHORE!!!" Annie went all ninja on him, but as you know, only Asian kids like Lilly (aka, me) can do the ninja thing right.

"Let me guess, Tinkerbell, right?" Mr. Saporta winked, and pulled out Annie's underwear. She snatched them away from him with a scowl.

"So, college, right? Ahh, I remember it so well..."

*CUE FLASHBACK SEQUENCE FOR GABE*

Gabe sauntered along in his purple hoodie, a boom box in one hand and a slushie in the other. His brightly colored sneakers squeaked across the floor. He wondered why people kept giving him weird looks; maybe it was the fact that he was dressed like a bad nightmare from the eighties, or maybe it was the fact that he was singing Madonna's 'Like a Virgin' in an off-key tone. Gabe himself preferred to think that it was because of his pure sexiness.

He sauntered back toward his dorm, only to find the police surrounding the building. When Gabriel asked a fellow 'What Not to Wear' candidate, they replied that the cops had discovered who had pulled that panty heist last week, and were in the middle of busting into his room. Gabe preceded to run in the other direction, and has been running ever since. He dropped out of college, got a fellow inmate *cough cough Mr. Wentz cough cough* to forge his teacher's degree, and went to go find himself some gullible people and a bunch of pretty girls. Needless to say, he succeded. *another cough cough Mr. Way cough cough*
*END FLASHBACK SEQUENCE FOR GABE*

"Like A Virgin?" Annie arched her eyebrow and Gabe blushed.

"Alrighty then..." I sighed.

"Like a virgin, fucked for the very first time....." Mr. Saporta sang. "Like a virgin! Oh! When your pen-"

"GABE! YOU BETTER RUN! AGAIN!" Mr. Urie burst quite dramatically into the room. "Why, helllllo Miss Montaque," he added very suavely.

"GABE!!" Beckett ran into the room this time. "Darrrrling! YOU BETTER RUN! WAY IS FUCKING PISSED! Excuse my language ladies."

We nodded.

"MISTER GABE SAPORTA. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A TALK!" Mr. Gerard Way pushed Mr. Saporta unto the couch. He was clutching his bag of panties quite furiously. Oh yeah. Mr. Mikey Way was trailing behind his brother. I rolled my eyes.

"YOU ARE..."