How Long Are You Gonna Keep Me Waiting?
Rebound?
*In Phoebe's Point Of View*
The walk back to my apartment was awkard. Pete and I both aggreed that in two weeks we would pick things up. I felt like a cheap whore kissing him when just today he broke up with his girlfriend. As much as I love him, I can't have him now. Wait a minute...JUST broke up with his girlfriend...was that just a rebound thing? Oh my god...it WAS! He's just feeling like shit because he broke up with Allison! Damn now I DO feel like a cheap whore. I let out a long sigh. So long waiting for that kiss for it just to be a pathetic rebound thing. Thats bullshit. I'm not having it. We continued to the door and Pete opened it. I walked in first feeling a little hurt at just being a rebound thing. Everyone turned their attention to us. Pete smiled awkwardly. Patrick looked pissed.
"Where were you two?" He asked right away.
"I wanted to show Pete something Pat." I said going to my bedroom.
"Is that the truth Phoebe?" He asked.
"What Patrick? Do you not believe me?"
"I didn't say that. Phoebe Adrienne"
I stood still and quiet for a minute. He used my middle name. He only used that when he was pissed with me.
"Thats the truth Patrick Martin. Accept it or don't. Forgive me everyone. I'm going to bed." I said turning away.
"Aw Come On Pheebs...." He said chasing after me.
He held on to my shoulder.
"Pheebs."
I turned around to see my brother pleading with his eyes.
"Don't leave on bad terms Phoebe."
I nodded. "I'm sorry Patty. I'm sorry everyone. I've just...i'm not feeling quite like myself..."
Everyone nodded. Pete kept looking down. I walked back to give everyone hugs as they left my apartment.
Patrick told me to call him in the morning. Probably to make sure I would make it through the night.
He's always been worried when i'm sad because of this one time back in high school he walked in on me cutting.
My life seemed to be going downhill. Mom and Dad had been fighting more and more, and school was torture. I didn't even see the point of it anymore. So after a very public display of me lashing out at lunchtime in the cafeteria I drove home ignoring every traffic signal almost getting into wrecks every five minutes not really caring about my life or anyone else's.
*Flash Back*
"Hey Phoebe come on, we're sitting over here." Marylin said motioning to a vacant table near the window. I took my food and followed my eagar friend to the table. We sat with our tiny group of friends and ate happily. Everything was going fine until my grades guidence counseler came to our table. "Miss Reeves?" Marylin asked. "Hello Mary, Phoebe...can I see you in my office for a minute?" She asked. "I'm eating Miss Reeves."
"Well...you can bring that into my office."
I rolled my eyes. "Is this REALLY nessasary?" I asked
"Phoebe..."
I sighed and followed her taking my pizza and sprite with me.
She opened her office door and I followed her in.
"Have a seat Miss Stump. Is the pronounciation any different due to the drop in the H?"
"No...it was always pronounced Stump...just now...it's spelled that way."
"Right. Stump. What influenced you to drop the H, Phoebe?"
"Well...me and my brother were bored one day and he mentioned how everyone thinks it's pronounced different because of the H...he asked if I would consider dropping it. I said yes and we got that done the next day."
"Right. Your brother...Patrick was it?" She asked.
She was so stupid. She knew damn well my brother was Patrick.
"Yeah. Patrick."
"Phoebe...how are things going on at home now that Patrick graduated?"
"Why the hell does that matter to you?" I asked.
"Watch your choice of vocabulary Phoebe...you're still in school."
"Then get to the damn point. What does this have to do with anything?" I asked
"Phoebe, your school progress is slipping. You're normally my top 3 but now...it seems like you don't even care anymore."
"What does this have to do with my home?"
"Phoebe, are your parents okay?"
"SHUT UP!!! JUST SHUT UP!!" I said grabbing my food and busting through her doors.
"Phoebe...we can help you..."
"Shut up! Theres NOTHING you can do to help me!!"
"Phoebe."
"IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME SO DAMN MUCH SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" I said stomping through the halls of the high school. Getting a mixture of worried looks, dissapointed looks, and looks of discust. I ran to the student parking lot and opened my car. I started it blasting whatever came on the radio and speeding home ignoring every traffic signal I passed. I got so many fingers flipped at me I stoped counting. I didn't care. Once I got home I threw my purse and book bag on the couch and ran into the bathroom, tears falling from my eyes. I searched the bathroom for something...anything sharp. My eyes found a razor. Oh such a beautiful sight that damn razor. I tore it apart and stared at the razor blades glistening, teasing me, begging to be etched into my skin. I cried a little more before picking one up and lifting up my shirt to expose my midriff. I sat aganst the wall and dug the razor into my skin, wincing at the pain that hurt yet felt so incredibly calming. Blood began to run onto my jeans staining the denim. I began to breathe stabilly again, it calmed me. I began to cut faster and dig deeper. I smiled at the blood getting on my fingers and under my nails. I decided thats all my midriff could handle, so I moved to my ankles then soon enough I was at my wrists, carefully sawing into my arm not to cut a vein. I started cutting a little bit slower to get more blood out when I saw Patrick standing in the doorway dawning a shocked look. "Shit Patrick!" I said trying to hide the razor. How the hell could I forget to shut the door?! "Phoebe! What the...oh my god...what....shit!" He said looking through the medicine cabinet in search of tissues no doubt. He sighed and began to clean my bloody wrist. I looked away, caught. The first time I decide to cut, he catches me. "Phoebe... shit." He said looking away.
"Patrick?"
he didn't respond.
"Patrick Martin!"
I hered him sniffing.
I moved his chin so he was facing me
he was crying a little.
"Shit Patrick..."
"Why the hell would you do this to youself Phoebe? I mean...whats wrong with you?" He asked cupping my face in his hands
I began to cry.
"Patrick...the guidence counseler kept asking about my home life. About mom and dad..."
"Phoebe...things are gonna be fine...mom and dad are gonna stay together...nothings gonna happen to our family..."
"How do you know?"
"Well...I don't...but...come on...it's...nah Pheebs" He said cleaning my writs a little more.
"Phoebe...you cut so deep..."
I nodded.
"Where else?" He asked looking up at me. He looked funny because his glasses were slipping.
"No where else Pat. just my wrist."
He sighed. "Phoebe. You know I hate being called Pat...if you lie to me you have to stop with the Pat shit."
I sighed and got up wincing at my midriff. I guess I cut that deep too. He helped me up to the living room.
"Brace yourself." I said lifting my jeans showing him my ankles.
He looked sad.
"Thats it?"
"No..." I said.
"Show me the rest Phoebe."
I sighed and lifted my shirt a bit showing him my cuts.
He looked like he was borderline tears.
"Phoebe Adrienne. Thats...oh heaven. I'll be right back Phoebe." He said walking to the bathroom. He came back in a second with rubbing alcohol and cotton swabs. I sighed.
"Lift Pheebs." I lifted my shirt and he cleaned the wounds.
I winced.
"It's your own damn fault for cutting in the first place. Hold still."
He finished. Thank god.
He gave me a hug.
"Don't you ever cut again Phoebe. The only person you're hurting is yourself."
I nodded.
"Never again Patrick."
*Back to regular time*
I never did cut after that. I've been tempted. But I made my big brother a promise. I smiled at the thought. With that I took a shower and went off to sleep.
The walk back to my apartment was awkard. Pete and I both aggreed that in two weeks we would pick things up. I felt like a cheap whore kissing him when just today he broke up with his girlfriend. As much as I love him, I can't have him now. Wait a minute...JUST broke up with his girlfriend...was that just a rebound thing? Oh my god...it WAS! He's just feeling like shit because he broke up with Allison! Damn now I DO feel like a cheap whore. I let out a long sigh. So long waiting for that kiss for it just to be a pathetic rebound thing. Thats bullshit. I'm not having it. We continued to the door and Pete opened it. I walked in first feeling a little hurt at just being a rebound thing. Everyone turned their attention to us. Pete smiled awkwardly. Patrick looked pissed.
"Where were you two?" He asked right away.
"I wanted to show Pete something Pat." I said going to my bedroom.
"Is that the truth Phoebe?" He asked.
"What Patrick? Do you not believe me?"
"I didn't say that. Phoebe Adrienne"
I stood still and quiet for a minute. He used my middle name. He only used that when he was pissed with me.
"Thats the truth Patrick Martin. Accept it or don't. Forgive me everyone. I'm going to bed." I said turning away.
"Aw Come On Pheebs...." He said chasing after me.
He held on to my shoulder.
"Pheebs."
I turned around to see my brother pleading with his eyes.
"Don't leave on bad terms Phoebe."
I nodded. "I'm sorry Patty. I'm sorry everyone. I've just...i'm not feeling quite like myself..."
Everyone nodded. Pete kept looking down. I walked back to give everyone hugs as they left my apartment.
Patrick told me to call him in the morning. Probably to make sure I would make it through the night.
He's always been worried when i'm sad because of this one time back in high school he walked in on me cutting.
My life seemed to be going downhill. Mom and Dad had been fighting more and more, and school was torture. I didn't even see the point of it anymore. So after a very public display of me lashing out at lunchtime in the cafeteria I drove home ignoring every traffic signal almost getting into wrecks every five minutes not really caring about my life or anyone else's.
*Flash Back*
"Hey Phoebe come on, we're sitting over here." Marylin said motioning to a vacant table near the window. I took my food and followed my eagar friend to the table. We sat with our tiny group of friends and ate happily. Everything was going fine until my grades guidence counseler came to our table. "Miss Reeves?" Marylin asked. "Hello Mary, Phoebe...can I see you in my office for a minute?" She asked. "I'm eating Miss Reeves."
"Well...you can bring that into my office."
I rolled my eyes. "Is this REALLY nessasary?" I asked
"Phoebe..."
I sighed and followed her taking my pizza and sprite with me.
She opened her office door and I followed her in.
"Have a seat Miss Stump. Is the pronounciation any different due to the drop in the H?"
"No...it was always pronounced Stump...just now...it's spelled that way."
"Right. Stump. What influenced you to drop the H, Phoebe?"
"Well...me and my brother were bored one day and he mentioned how everyone thinks it's pronounced different because of the H...he asked if I would consider dropping it. I said yes and we got that done the next day."
"Right. Your brother...Patrick was it?" She asked.
She was so stupid. She knew damn well my brother was Patrick.
"Yeah. Patrick."
"Phoebe...how are things going on at home now that Patrick graduated?"
"Why the hell does that matter to you?" I asked.
"Watch your choice of vocabulary Phoebe...you're still in school."
"Then get to the damn point. What does this have to do with anything?" I asked
"Phoebe, your school progress is slipping. You're normally my top 3 but now...it seems like you don't even care anymore."
"What does this have to do with my home?"
"Phoebe, are your parents okay?"
"SHUT UP!!! JUST SHUT UP!!" I said grabbing my food and busting through her doors.
"Phoebe...we can help you..."
"Shut up! Theres NOTHING you can do to help me!!"
"Phoebe."
"IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME SO DAMN MUCH SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" I said stomping through the halls of the high school. Getting a mixture of worried looks, dissapointed looks, and looks of discust. I ran to the student parking lot and opened my car. I started it blasting whatever came on the radio and speeding home ignoring every traffic signal I passed. I got so many fingers flipped at me I stoped counting. I didn't care. Once I got home I threw my purse and book bag on the couch and ran into the bathroom, tears falling from my eyes. I searched the bathroom for something...anything sharp. My eyes found a razor. Oh such a beautiful sight that damn razor. I tore it apart and stared at the razor blades glistening, teasing me, begging to be etched into my skin. I cried a little more before picking one up and lifting up my shirt to expose my midriff. I sat aganst the wall and dug the razor into my skin, wincing at the pain that hurt yet felt so incredibly calming. Blood began to run onto my jeans staining the denim. I began to breathe stabilly again, it calmed me. I began to cut faster and dig deeper. I smiled at the blood getting on my fingers and under my nails. I decided thats all my midriff could handle, so I moved to my ankles then soon enough I was at my wrists, carefully sawing into my arm not to cut a vein. I started cutting a little bit slower to get more blood out when I saw Patrick standing in the doorway dawning a shocked look. "Shit Patrick!" I said trying to hide the razor. How the hell could I forget to shut the door?! "Phoebe! What the...oh my god...what....shit!" He said looking through the medicine cabinet in search of tissues no doubt. He sighed and began to clean my bloody wrist. I looked away, caught. The first time I decide to cut, he catches me. "Phoebe... shit." He said looking away.
"Patrick?"
he didn't respond.
"Patrick Martin!"
I hered him sniffing.
I moved his chin so he was facing me
he was crying a little.
"Shit Patrick..."
"Why the hell would you do this to youself Phoebe? I mean...whats wrong with you?" He asked cupping my face in his hands
I began to cry.
"Patrick...the guidence counseler kept asking about my home life. About mom and dad..."
"Phoebe...things are gonna be fine...mom and dad are gonna stay together...nothings gonna happen to our family..."
"How do you know?"
"Well...I don't...but...come on...it's...nah Pheebs" He said cleaning my writs a little more.
"Phoebe...you cut so deep..."
I nodded.
"Where else?" He asked looking up at me. He looked funny because his glasses were slipping.
"No where else Pat. just my wrist."
He sighed. "Phoebe. You know I hate being called Pat...if you lie to me you have to stop with the Pat shit."
I sighed and got up wincing at my midriff. I guess I cut that deep too. He helped me up to the living room.
"Brace yourself." I said lifting my jeans showing him my ankles.
He looked sad.
"Thats it?"
"No..." I said.
"Show me the rest Phoebe."
I sighed and lifted my shirt a bit showing him my cuts.
He looked like he was borderline tears.
"Phoebe Adrienne. Thats...oh heaven. I'll be right back Phoebe." He said walking to the bathroom. He came back in a second with rubbing alcohol and cotton swabs. I sighed.
"Lift Pheebs." I lifted my shirt and he cleaned the wounds.
I winced.
"It's your own damn fault for cutting in the first place. Hold still."
He finished. Thank god.
He gave me a hug.
"Don't you ever cut again Phoebe. The only person you're hurting is yourself."
I nodded.
"Never again Patrick."
*Back to regular time*
I never did cut after that. I've been tempted. But I made my big brother a promise. I smiled at the thought. With that I took a shower and went off to sleep.