Out of Place and Under Dressed

I decided on some Bon Jovi after what felt like an eternity, and as Have A Nice Day played out into my ears, I began finally jotting down some ideas. If I couldn't think up my own, I'd simply disguise lyrics instead.

Main Female Lead: shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice – individual and unique personality
Who are you to tell me if it's black or white – makes her own choices

Well that was a measly start wasn't it? Still, better than what I had before "Popular high school girl and lonely outcast boy fall in love on the bleachers". It was typical, boring and incredibly imprudent. I didn't want to taint my good writing record simply because I didn't have the energy or care to write anything better. No, I'd try. I began scribbling down a few more lame characteristics, feeling a small flow of good ideas drift my way, but was sadly distracted by Willow going to the loo. I watched as her Pepto pink hair and knee length black dress made their way into the girl's bathroom, a chorus of whistles and calls coming from a group of guys in the back corer by the door. Losers...
"How's the writing coming along then? Any good flows yet?" I looked up to see Anya leant back in her chair, knees drawn up to her chest as she sipped delicately on her coffee.
"Its crap. Got a few things here but nothing worth exploring."
"Why not?" I sighed and ran a hand through my thick, crinkled hair, ruffling it slightly at the sides.
"I have no inspiration what-so-ever. Zilch, zip, zero, kein. I just don’t have the care right now."
"Oh come on you fag," She played, nudging my foot with her own. "I bet there are some amazing ideas floating round in that big old brain of yours. You just gotta pick 'em out."

Anya was the kind of girl you really didn't want to spend too much time around if you were miserable, down, ill or tired. She never took no for an answer and never got bored. Her energy levels astounded me; there just seemed to be absolutely nothing that could tire her out or wear her down. Her boyfriend, Mark, was a seriously patient guy with oodles of charisma and fun just bursting from him. They just clicked. She always seemed to be happy too. It was almost as if she didn't allow upset or depression into her little bubble and instead focussed on everything good. Her look always reflected that; big curls of golden hair and those dark green orbs constantly gleaming. I envied her positivity and optimism, but never enough to tell her.

"Tell me what you've got so far." I ran my index finger over my bottom lip in thought, piecing together what little information I had on my main lead of my "love story".
"This bold, positive girl who doesn't take anyone's crap and makes her own choices." She looked at e expectantly, a big smile placed on her rosy face, breath held tightly. After a few moments though, she frowned.
"That it?"
"Yup."
"But that's-"
"Crap? Poor? Ridiculous? I know. I told you I have nothing going for this thing."
"Should have gone with a sexy night in. We both told you." I growled under my breath in frustration, partly at myself for being so lame and partly to her for being a playful ass, receiving a light smack to my junk covered arm. She gave me a urging smile and told me to crack on, grabbing her coffee again and draining what she had left before ordering another. I was told she'd be right back but took no notice of her other garbled words as my earphones had already slipped back into place and Welcome To Wherever You Are rang out.

Main Male Lead: pessimistic nobody at work, always doubting himself,
You're caught between just who you are and who you wanna be – too many decisions.

The song faded out and was replaced by the softer melody of Blood on Blood, but I barely noticed. Minutes ticked by into nearly an hour yet I was completely oblivious. I had taken to drawing ridiculous little pictures up and around my page, stars hearts and space invader things dotting the paper as I tapped my chucks to the beat. I could feel myself slipping into my self contained world once more and, as the reality faded away and edges went fuzzy, I closed my eyes, music and thoughts invading my mind once more as my secluded little world swallowed me whole. I leant my head back onto the sofa, bringing my feet up to my chest and just sat, thought, pondered...

I wonder If he'd ever love me again? Stupid bloody girl of course he wouldn’t. He has perfection probably rolled up in bed-sheets with him at this very moment. He isn't even considering my existence right now and here I am asking myself what if's. I tried loosing myself in the rhythm of the song, but every time I did his angelic face appeared again, his impeccably blue eyes drowning me in a sea of love and want. Want; that's all it was. It was never really love or companionship. It was lust, a primal animal desire.

I tried not to tie myself up in knots but I knew it was pointless. That train of thought had left the station and it was currently doing 300mph down the Depression Lane. I kicked my pad to the side, eyes still firmly shut as the song ended and another began, blurring into one long never-ending noise. I didn't want to lose myself, to lose who and what I was about. I was Ezzy, holder of all wit and gift of the gab. I never wanted to be another painting on his wall, it wasn't what I was set out to do. I truly believed that he was meant for me, that we were destined to be together, cheesy as it sounds. I had been utterly infatuated with him ever since 8th grade, and it wasn't until I finally graduated that I told him. i had it all set, weddings, families, houses, jobs, memories, everything. I never wanted it to end so why did it? I felt one lone tear trickle out of my eye, most likely leaving a dark looking groove on my cheek from my heavy eyeliner today, but hey, whatever.

"Ez? Hello?" I felt a hand rocking at my thigh pulling me from my whirlwind of thoughts and back to the cosy setting that was real life. Willow had returned and had a head perched on my shoulder, her hand still nudging annoyingly at my leg. I looked up to see her watching me, a small smile present on her perfect face. "You left us for a minute" she whispered.
"Sorry" I croaked out, my voice not being used enough today to maintain a stable pitch.
"It's fine. Anya's got a mate. Gonna say hi?" my head instantly shot up, earphone falling from my muted ears as I adjusted my vision on the pair opposite me. Willow took a seat to my left having had hers nabbed by Anya and in her place sat breathtaking, tanned guy, both smiling over at me. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t heard them sit down and felt so embarrassed as to what they may have seen. I wiped furiously at my eyes, trying to rid myself of any humiliating tear stains, sitting back in the sofa with one of the most fake positive auras I have ever created as this icon of perfection beamed across from me.
"Ezzy, this is my mate from High School, Heath." I mumbled a hello and waved cautiously, childlike and hopeless. He uttered a hello back and that was that. Over, introduced, done.