The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You

Helena

I sat on the curb outside the house, staring at my phone that was in my hand. I knew I had to make this phone call; I needed to make up for what I had said. I sighed deeply as I looked up and down the street looking for anything to distract my attention. There was no luck; I forced my attention back to the green palm size phone in my hand. I went to the phonebook and looked for the number I knew all too well. I took a deep breath and hit the call button. I placed the phone against my ear and listened to the several dial tones. I felt my stomach go into knots and they grew bigger with each ring. Then I heard him pick up the phone, causing me to choke on the air I was breathing. I listened to see if he would say anything first but it was dead silent. I knew he wanted me to say the first word.

“Gerard?” I asked but knowing full well he was on the other side. I went back to biting my lower lip as I waited for him to answer.

“Helena,” I heard him say in a low angry tone. I took a minute to gather what I wanted to say to him and what I wanted to explain.

“Listen Gerard, I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for what I said to you the other night. I never meant to say anything like that to you, it was wrong of me.”

“Well they do say a drunkin’ mind speaks a sober heart,” he said and it hit me hard. I felt tears in my eyes as I knew I hurt him bad. And I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to hurt Gerard like that. I sighed and looked towards my shoes. I knew this had to end, we both needed to let go.

“Gerard, please, you have to let me go,” I cried and rested my head in my hand. This was it, we were going to be done. It killed me that I had to let him go, to move on with life and not worry about having him in the background.

“I can’t Helena,” was all I heard before he hung up. I cried more as I hung up the phone and tosses it onto the grass, not caring if it broke or not. I cried into my hands as I knew that I was letting him go and that he was going to have to sit there and suffer. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and it hurt even more that I was doing this to him. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I cried and cried into my knees not caring who saw me.

“Helena?” I heard a familiar voice but couldn’t figure out who it was. I looked up and wiped away the tears. I looked hard at him and realized that I had seen this guy before. My heart sank as I remember that night again and how I really broke Gerard.

“Oh hey Robbie, how is it going?” I asked him as I wiped my tears away and cleaned up my makeup.

“Have you been crying?” he asked me concerned and leaned on one knee and reached out. I felt his thumbs finish wiping the tears away and brush my hair back.

“Bad day,” I whispered and look down at phone remembering the phone conversation. I felt his pointer finger and thumb grab my chin and forced me to look up at him.

“You need ice cream,” he said and I smiled. It felt good to actually smile as he helped me up and lead me towards the ice cream stand, “Do you want to tell me about your bad day?”

“Long story,” I told him and walked with my head down. I could feel him looking at me as we walked, wanting to know what was wrong.

“Well I have time,” he said as he nudged my arm. I looked up at him and smile. It was amazing that I could feel so down in the dumps and then turn to a ray of sunshine. This boy was driving me crazy, making my emotions run hay wired. We finally reached the ice cream stand and he didn’t press the subject anymore, which I was thankful for. I ordered a vanilla cone and I was about to pull out some money until I saw Robbie’s hand hold my arm, “I got this doll.” He handed over the money and we walked away.

“I really wished you let me pay for it,” I complained and we sat on the bench. He smiled and licked the melting ice cream off.

“Then I wouldn’t be much of a gentleman,” he smirked and I only shook my head. I licked the ice cream away and looked down at the table, “So what was giving you a bad day?”

“I ended it with my boyfriend today,” I whispered knowing that I wasn’t going to talk away not telling him. He would find some way of getting it out of me.

“You had a boyfriend?” he asked shocked.

“Yeah but we were taking a break. But its better if we don’t stay together,” I explained to him and took a deep breath. I looked over at the bushes and noticed a few lady bugs flying around. I wanted to be a bug in the wind. Fly wherever I wanted and to do whatever I wanted. They had a care free world and I badly wanted to be a part of it. I wanted to just fly away and leave all the fears and regrets behind.

“Well, I’m sorry. But this could be for the best,” he whispered as he reached over and placed his hand on mine. He was smiling as I looked up and noticed that he had the deepest blue eyes. It was the first time since I was sober to get a real good look at them, and it made me melt inside. Maybe he was right; this could work out for the best.

Mikey

I threw on my runners’ jacket and grabbed my cup of coffee headed towards the venue. It was time to set up shop and work on sound check. It scared me that this just might be the last tour My Chemical Romance would ever perform. This band I had devoted my life to and it was the thing that kept me going. It never even crossed my mind that this was going to happen, that Frankie would leave and the others would follow. I even over heard Bob telling Ray, that by the end of the tour, he was leaving too. It was a low blow to me, I thought these guys were in this for the long run, but I knew what their motives were, and I could understand that. I mean my brother was no longer the easiest guy to get along with anymore, but at least they could stay true to the band. I sighed as I watched my career and my life fall apart walking onto the stage. I was in complete shock at what I had found.

“Gerard?” I asked him as I saw him wiring up my bass. He looked up and smiled at me. He stood up straight and brushed his hand on his pants.

“Hey Mikey, your bass is all ready to go. All you have to do is tune the sucker,” he smiled and walked over towards the opposite side of the stage. He started working on Matt’s amp. I took a good long look around the stage and noticed that he had Ray’s amp set up and Bob’s drum kit in place.

“Did you do all this?” I asked him as I pointed around the stage. He smiled and nodded, but continued on what he was working on. I was shocked and surprise that I completely ran off the stage. I ran down the hallway and out the door. I saw Bob heading towards the building while smoking a cigarette, “Bob! Come quick!”

“Mikey?” he asked. I jogged over to him and started to pull his arm, “Quit it Mikey!”

“No! you have to confirm this shit is real,” I said and pulled harder.

“What are you talking about Mikey?”

“Gerard. Setting up. Now,” I mumbled three words and I could just see the shock in Bob’s eyes. He had to shake himself out of the trance and started to move quicker. He throw out his cigarette and followed me. We finally made it to the stage and Gerard was still in the same spot, but standing up the amp, making sure it was working properly.

“Gerard?” he asked in disbelief.

“Is it that shocking that I am helping out,” he laughed as he stood up straight again, leaning on the amp.

“Well… yes,” Bob said for the both of us only making Gerard smile.

“Are you feeling alright?” Bob asked and Gerard looked to the floor and fiddled with a knob. I knew something was wrong with him, just the way he was looking now, screamed sadness. I started to walk over closer to him and I looked back at Bob, he knew something was wrong too.

“I lost her,” he whispered and bite on his lower lip. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at me. His eyes were watery and at any moment he was ready to bust out crying. I felt my heart sink as I realized what he was saying, Helena left him for good. I knew that this was a painful situation for him, but this was to the extreme. I remembered the nights we stayed up late talking and he would tell me how he was going to marry her. He was so serious and hopeful about it. But looking at him now, I was afraid what he might actually do.